I Volunteered For What!

I'm working the election tomorrow. Oh crap what did I get myself into? I must be a glutton for punishment. I have to report no later than 5 friggin' A.M. Are they serious?

My sense of civic pride will get the better of me.

I voted early yesterday since I would be working the polls. You know the election is odd when a junkie like me can't make up his mind until a few hours beforehand. I've never stood in line for nearly 3 hours before. Perhaps is more people had been interested in elections over the past 20 years the country would be in different shape.

Oh well at least the people will definitely speak this election. But will the politicians care about what they hear?

Here Be Ghosts Or Bigfoot.

One of the reasons I find Halloween to be the best time of the year: ghost tours. A dark moonlit night, a crisp and cool wind, a spooky Victorian era neighborhood, and a creepy dude in a trenchcoat as a tour guide. Oh yes, this would be so good!

I saw the blurb in the paper and quickly texted some friends. Luckily T and the Lady D could come. They were surprised such a neighborhood existed in Big City. You go around the suburbs and yes you get lots of vinyl villages, apartment complexes, and commercial corridors filled with strip malls and megamalls. This was a neighborhood with Victorians, Tudors, Arts & Crafts style homes with 2 or 3 story buildings housing pubs, coffeehouses not named BuckStars, non-chain style restaurants, non-chain bookstores, a Masonic temple, and a scooter store. Ciao baby! A quaint village only a few miles from downtown Big City, but in some ways a world away. Of course this village has a deep and dark side perfect for ghost stories.

The wind blew as the guide told of chess pieces that would move on a chessboard, before the coffeehouse opened up and the owner was by himself. A little cottage had cats disappearing into a drawer full of socks with no way for the drawers to open up by themselves. The same cottage supposedly had an evil force outside trying to get inside while the catnapping good spirit kept it at bay. Another house of a famous murderer supposedly would have smoke rings from a cigar appear out of nowhere. The murderer was noted for his fine cigars. One basement stairs would have the presence of a small cat rubbing against your leg, but don't reach done to pet the cat or you'll be shocked when you find nothing.

Wandering around the neighborhood with over 50 people I wondered if we would find any ghosts or at least Bigfoot. I told T and the Lady D we shouldn't mess with Sasquatch like those idiots in the beef jerky commercials. Some of the trees were very large and could hide something big. The highlight of the evening for most people was the tape recorder. The guide played a tape with a child's voice during a conversation with a homeowner. The homeowner had no children and the ghost that supposedly haunted this house was a child. People were surprised to hear the voice. The only problem I had was I never heard the voice.

I never heard any spooky voices. I never saw any spectres. I never saw any chess pieces move, and I never saw any random Bigfoot wandering around. Okay the tour never advertised Bigfoot, but hey you never know when you'll run into the big fella. I had a fun time. T and the Lady D had a fun time. They thanked me for inviting them. You're welcome. I love showing off the interesting sides of Big City. Even if they are the creepy and spooky sides of Big City.

Boo!

The World Turned Upside Down.

I had a 5 game lead in the pool until this weekend. Thankfully North Carolina and Navy are doing as well as I expected and they won this weekend. Now I know South Florida, Ohio State, Oklahoma State, and Louisiana State University are all ranked in the Top 25, but are not invulnerable. But did they ALL have to lose in the same weekend? Even my boat anchor Kent State Golden Flashes WON this weekend!

The League Commissioner will provide updates by Tuesday. I could still be in the lead, but even if I am still ahead my lead got crushed like an empty beer can. At least I don't have money invested in this pool. I just want the bragging rights baby!

Spend It Like There's No Tomorrow!

Paycheck comes in and bills go out. At least for the past few paychecks there has been some leftover. Gasoline getting well below $3.00/gallon really helps on that. I've had a job for a year now. That helps so much it isn't funny. I've paid down my VISA by over a third. I've been paying off that bitch Sallie Mae with no problems. I've been slowly paying off other people too.

Even discounting student loans I still have a metric buttload of debt, but at least it is coming down. Provided I can keep my job (I don't see it going away), and gasoline doesn't do extremely ballistic curves on the price chart I should be able to pay off all my debts, except ol' Sallie, by spring 2010. Unemployment debt sucks. That's all the analysis I need to provide.

At least I have some hope now, and that's better than I had a year ago. I honestly didn't know how much longer I could last. I honestly had no more plans or ideas. I needed a job, and finally I got one. That glimmer of hope was hard won. That's why I hold on so tightly. I know all too well how quickly hope can turn to ash. Though a bit early for new year's resolutions, perhaps I can resolves to finally relax a little bit next year.

Nah!

How Did I Not Ace This One?

You Scored 60% Correct

You are a solid child of the 80s. You'd never confuse Tiffany from Debbie Gibson! And while you may not know Prince's first #1 hit... You know every word to Little Red Corvette.

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

Don't Bring The Silver Bullets Please

You Should Be a Werewolf

You are seen as a bit tough and quite unpredictable. You follow your impulses. You see Halloween as a time you can go a little crazy. You love to scare people, and people are quite scared of you. You tend to be intimidating - and not just on Halloween!

What Classic Halloween Costume Should You Wear?

Army Of Darkness Explains So Much.

One friend of mine fails onto the Democrat side of the political spectrum. Our collective has a wide range of political views. Our collective is also full of smart asses. Combine those two traits with my friend and he came up with this little gem of political analysis. I don't care what your politics are you have to admit this is funny.

PS: If you haven't seen the Bruce Campbell classic Army Of Darkness you won't appreciate this as much.

John McCain (gesturing to the Bush administration): "You gotta believe me...I never even SAW these assholes before!"

Sarah Palin: "You found me beautiful once."
My Friend: "Honey, you got reeaal ugly."

I Shouldn't Watch Certain Shows.

We're getting near Halloween and History Channel's Mosterquest is always a good creepy show. Between the Yeti show, the Bigfoot show, the Skunk Ape show, the Ohio Strawman show, the Bigfoot in New York show, and who knows how many other variations of Bigfoot there is, and it'll creep me out. I blame this fear of Bigfoot on the infamous episode of the Bionic Man vs. Bigfoot.

We're also getting all the shows about ghosts now too.

October is a good month to creep me out. The last thing I need to watch now would be a marathon run of Seasons 1 through 3 of The X-Files.

To my limited audience, is there anything that goes bump in the night that will creep you out?

General Stupidity Or Targeted Hate?

I get out of my car and notice the window has some waves in it. Wait a second, it has several curves in the dust and grime. Hold on, someone has written something onto the window! My window wasn't very dirty so it was hardly visible at all. I had to stand at just the right distance and at just the right angle to make out the text: like cock.

I'm pretty sure that wasn't there this morning. I had a little bit of dew on my windows so it would be more obvious if something was written. Most likely this occurred at work in Small Town. I was a tad angry, not upset, not concerned, but angry. Who dared screw around with my car? Then my thoughts drifted into a more analytical mode. Was the message meant specifically for me, or was it some wannabe graffiti artist with no sense of morals who randomly saw a slightly dirty window as a blank canvas?

A random act of stupidity I could almost accept. A targeted gripe would concern me more. Who would have done this? Was it one of my "clients" and if so how did they know which car was mine? I don't share very much of my private life with people outside my office, especially not with our clientele. I deal with the flotsam and jetsam of our society. I have no doubt I upset people often due to my position. If you're seeing me in my legal duties, then something is very wrong most likely.

I don't intend to become paranoid, but perhaps a little more vigilance on my part wouldn't be a bad idea, especially in Small Town.

I Guess I Can't Fake It Anymore.

Quote #1:

Fellow Club Member: Wow Wolfrham, you look exhausted!

Me: Is it really that noticeable?

Quote #2:
Clerk: I don't know how these files are getting legs and walking out of here. I can't do my job when I can't find the damn file.

Me: I can't do my job when I keep helping you look for the damn file either.

Farewell To Opus

I love the character Opus, but I'm not fond of the comic Opus. Bloom County was awesome. Outland was simply a weak shadow of Bloom County. The third Berkley Breathed iteration was simply weak. Still it's nice to see Opus and Steve Dallas for a bit.

If you've been reading the comic you've been feeling the end coming. Perhaps it's time to finally say good bye. The Opus and the Shuttlechair Challenger must fly off into the sunset.

Just Wing It With My Mad Oral Skills.

The judge had all the attorneys write a motion. It was interesting to take opposition's case law and work it against him. I figured the judge would rule on the motion and take things from there.

NO!

The judge wanted oral summations of our motions, the case law, the potential testimony from witnesses (I didn't know we had any witnesses), and then he would take it from there. What I anticipated to be a 30 to 45 minute hearing at most was instead around 90 minutes. I wasn't ready for a oral summation. Luckily my motion only referenced two cases so I compared and contrasted the two cases with the situation at hand. I also invoked equity. When in doubt invoke the secret judicial power of equity and fairness. At that point the judge asked everyone a question, and no one had an answer. It was such a minor procedural question it wasn't even in our files. It was minor to all, but the judge. Oh crap!

I've been stalled for over 3 months. I want this case to move forward so I can finally do something one way or the other.

This Makes So Much Sense For The Cubs

I'm not even a baseball fan. Yet if you're familiar with the Chicago Cubs, their history, their fans, their culture, their very frickin' obnoxious yuppie fashionable fans, then this will make sense. So I'll share this with you:

As I was explaining to my neighbor Joe, the beauty of this postseason defeat for the Cubs is that for Cubs fans it ruins next season as well. While they were swept in last year's playoffs, they weren't expected to do much in the post season. This year, they were the team to beat, at least in the NL. Now, even if they win the division going away next year, everyone will be worried about yet another postseason debacle. Cubs fans won't be able to enjoy the regular season success of next year until it is validated by post season success. In other words, the Cubs have already ruined 2009, and the 2008 WorldSeries hasn't even started yet.

A complete thing of beauty.

I Always Thought I Was The Philosopher-King.

You Are the Philosopher

You love thinking things over and developing theories. Learning is very important to you, and you pursue knowledge relentlessly. You love to talk about the things you know, often in more detail than people would like to hear. And you know a lot! You're always taking on new subjects, interests, and hobbies. You are at your best when you are left alone to ponder your newest ideas and experiments. You tend to withdraw from environments that are loud, contentious, or passionate.

What Role Do You Play?

Tell Me How You Really Feel.

This $700 BILLION bailout package of Wall Street isn't very popular. Everyone has an opinion on the subject. The fact the vote failed and the Dow Jones went down 777 points (is that 111 points better than expected) elicits various responses.

A wee bit blunt, but I kinda agree with my friend. I'm such a sick, sick boy.

Quote One:
"Whoo-hoo! I want to see suits diving out of skyscrapers before Congress says boo with MY money. More billionaires need to become paupers before we as a whole pony up $700 billion."

Total Brain Fart

Nope it wasn't mine, though I do that all the time. My boss had the total mental meltdown. We thought we would be smart and swap a few files so we wouldn't have to travel to different courtrooms. I could take all the cases in one court, and the boss could handle all the cases in another court.


It seemed like a good idea at the time.


It was supposed to be an even swap with one file apiece. Yet somehow one or two more hearings were scheduled than what appeared on our calendar. Of course those hearings belonged to the boss, but they were mine now. I provided the boss with my single file. The boss later gave me three files.

I was in the middle of one hearing and the boss suddenly appeared looking for something. He rustled through the files on the table and grabbed at least one file. WTF?!?! I had the files I needed, but he mumbled he was looking for something. Did he somehow insert some extraneous files when I wasn't looking? A few minutes later the next case come up and suddenly I didn't have that file in my stack. WTF it was here when I came into the courtroom!?!?!?

I went into my office to look for it. I went into the file room to look for it. I went into my boss's office to look for it. I couldn't find the damn file and I printed off some data from the computer. Though incomplete at least I could do something at the hearing. The boss came into our office saying he couldn't find the file I gave him. WTF? I gave that file to him just before lunch!

I went into the courtroom he was at. I stared at the table and immediately realized what the problem was. Our filing system is based on a primary name; however, at times the person involved is the secondary name. Usually that secondary name is printed somewhere on the file, but not always. I flipped open the file and pointed out to the boss there was the name he was looking for. It was right there on all the paperwork I prepared for this hearing. He knows this system. From who was in the court that day he could easily tell it was a secondary name. Yet somehow he just totally spaced it.

I glanced at the pile of files and noticed the file I needed was right there! WTF, it was in my possession about 45 minutes earlier! Why did my boss grab this, no wait there was a second file I would need later!!! Between finding the files, looking at the calendar, switching files to be with the proper person BEFORE the hearings I spent easily 15 minutes making sure everything was right. Thanks to my boss's bumbling we both looked like idiots in front of two different courts!

The reality is my boss is burned out. He needs a sabbatical to recharge his legal batteries. A shame sabbaticals only exist in academia or high end private practices. His complete exhaustion affects his work, our office, and at times my work. I don't know what to do. I can only control my boss so much.

This Night Isn't Good For My Football Pool!

Okay on ABC I have Georgia beating down on Arizona State badly. Arizona State is my PAC 10 team. On ESPN I have Auburn laying the smack down on LSU. LSU is my SEC team in the pool.

I doubt I'll be first place in our division by the end of tonight.

At least Notre Dame lost. Michigan State isn't my Big 10 team, but I simply hate Notre Dame. I hate them like I hate the New England Patriots.

Football is life and I'm having a heart attack right now.

EDIT: Oh praise my picks. At least LSU mounted a comeback to win the game. Of course with 4 minutes to go Arizona State isn't doing too well right now. Eh one out of two isn't bad.

9-21-2008 EDIT Part Duex: Note to self: I need to make sure I know who my teams are. I have ARIZONA, not Arizona STATE!!! Gargh, all the fretting for nothing as Arizona beat UCLA 31-10. Okay I had 7 out of 11 teams win yesterday with one team having a bye week. A good week, but not a great week. I don't even have any money on these games. This is pure pride and ego!

Money, Money, Money....MONEY!

If more people had a philosophy like this, our country wouldn't be having a financial meltdown right now.

Your Money Personality is Healthy

You have a good relationship with money. You don't spend wildly, but you're not opposed to treating yourself on occasion. In general, you save some of what you earn. You know the importance of a nest egg. You aren't afraid of being financially literate - you embrace learning more about finances. From a retirement plan to having an emergency fund, you know what you need to have to be safe.

What's Your Money Personality?

Rock God In My Own Mind.

Your Taste in Music:

Eighties: Highest Influence Alternative Rock: Highest Influence Classic Rock: Highest Influence Adult Alternative: High Influence Country: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

I Don't Want To Wait Until 2010.

Season 5, or if you're British Series 5, teaser for the return of Doctor Who. The ol' Doc gets another companion again. I love the power of the beats and the fiery looks. Sometimes less is more.

Where Is My Passport?

I get around a bit, but I need to relearn my Spanish.

You Are Quite Worldly

You've done a good bit of worldly exploring, and you have an international perspective. And you're definitely looking forward to your future adventures abroad. You've got the passport, the desire to travel, and maybe even the language skills. Now all you need are the means!

How Worldly Are You?

I Will Always Hate This Anniversary.

While it is 7 years later I still hate this day. A few weeks ago I found this rather unique story about Ladder 5. A good demonstration of how something good can come out of a world class tragedy so I offer it with no more commentary.

So Very Tired.

I haven't slept well the past few nights. By the time I'm about t0 fall asleep some thunderstorms start coming in. The resulting exhaustion has affects my work. Even with caffeine I simply run out of power after lunch. Which sucks especially due to the lack of hearings the past few afternoons. I could get rid of so much paperwork if only I didn't want to fall asleep.

It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so swamped in August. I've been doing paperwork from this week, last month, and even some stuff from late July these past few afternoons. Too many files and too many stray pieces of paper demanding my attention. To top it off, I haven't been staying in the office as late as I normally do. Not that I had other things to do, but I simply was too tired to stay. I even took a nap at a parking lot halfway home the other day. The drive was too long and I really needed a 15 minute nap.

Honestly, I don't get paid enough to deal with all this crap.

Why I Hate Television Network Schedulers.

Okay, what moron decided to put this new show Fringe opposite Eureka?

Seriously, I love Eureka. It is light hearted fun. I just saw the pilot to Fringe and I'm willing to give it a shot. A post 9-11 X-Files might be a good show if they have a coherent story line/mythology in mind already.

Oh well I'm sure my parents will record one, if not both of the shows. I can catch the good stuff later at their house.

Master And Human

NFL Week 1: Hank William Jr. vs Faith Hill

Week One of Professional Football. Booya baby the games are finally for real!

Tom Brady appears to be crippled. Excellent. I hate the Patriots. May Brett Farve maul the Pats next week with the new look Jets.

I miss seeing the Hank Williams Jr. introduction for Monday Night Football.

However, for Sunday Night Football Faith Hill is an acceptable substitute.

Okay, Hank Williams Jr. had a for more kickin' intro, but Mrs. Tim McGraw is...well hot.

I hate the fact I'm so easily turned by looks on this issue.

Addendum: Danica Patrick driving the Outback Madencruiser around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway was also cool.

Didn't I Already Do This?

I tried to organize for today yesterday afternoon. I knew the calendar was overloaded, but I researched which hearings were mine and which weren't. However I didn't get a chance to discuss things with my boss. I came in this morning and things were already hectic and falling apart. Some hearings weren't on the calendar. One calendar seemed to have extra hearings. Some people were early and others were very late. 90 minutes into the day and suddenly I'm realizing I already researched these hearings!

I slept since last night so I was reinventing the wheel again.

First order of business tomorrow: get in early to discuss with boss which hearings aren't his and cover his butt in the afternoon. One of the judges is about to scalp him so I need to cover him.

I Got Some Serious Brain Going On!

Your IQ Is 120

Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Spellcheck Is My Friend. Sometimes.

I admit it is very frustrating to be a mediocre speller. In school I excelled in most subjects, except spelling. I've seen far worse spellers, but I know I can't expect anything I've written to be error free.

Your Common Spelling Mistake Score: 70% Correct

Your spelling is decent, but you do make quite a few mistakes. Let's just say you won't be winning a spelling bee anytime soon!

Do You Make Common Spelling Mistakes?

The Big Pig In The Big Green Egg.

*Sunday afternoon, approximately 5:00 p.m.*

Me: Whoa! That's a lot of pork loin.

Cook: It's 9.4 lbs according to the label. I'm putting some hot peppers in the middle, some mustard, and wrapping some bacon around the whole thing.

Me: So really this is a pepper sandwich wrapped in pork. Is this even going to fit on the grill?

Cook: I have the large size of the Big Green Egg. Wrap the loin around itself and put it in the rack and it'll fit fine!

Me: That is a pretty large Green Egg.

Cook: Oh they have an extra-large one you can get.

Me: An extra large egg?!?!?! That must weight 100 lbs. You could probably fit the whole pig one of those monsters.

Cook: I'm willing to give it a shot.

College Football Means Life Is Good!

Now is my favorite time of year: the start of the college football season. The beer is cooling. The grill is heating up. The TV is on.

Nirvana does exist for at least a day.

One Final Lap.

In a depressing, yet also heartwarming, turn of events I read this story. 83 year old actor/racer/political activist (who I disagree with on some things)/philanphropist/living legend Paul Newman is dying of terminal lung cancer and isn't expect to see this October. In an age of tabloid Hollywood where anyone can be famous for 15 minutes Paul Newman excelled in his chosen crafts and was a genuinely nice guy. Most people know him for his fine films. Cinema history wouldn't be the same without Cool Hand Luke, The Hustler, The Color Of Money, Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, Slapshot, Road To Perdition among others.

Yet many people forget, or never knew, that Paul Newman was one of the greatest racers of his era. "P. L. Newman" placed second at the 24 hours of Le Mans, raced numerous SCCA and Trans Am events, and at the age of 74 won a Daytona 24 hours. Mr. Newman, with co-owner Carl Haas, has owned one of the best IndyCar/ChampCar teams of modern times and actively participated at numerous races. Oh yeah, I guess he donated over $200 million in profits to numerous charities and non-profit organizations from that salad dressing of his.

To honor a great man and racer the Lime Rock Park race track near his Connecticut home shut down for a few hours on August 13 to let this lion in winter drive a few final laps in his beloved GT1 Corvette. Though depressing to think about the impending death of a good man, I admire his ability to do something he truly loves one last time. May we all be so lucky when the twilight comes.

Just Another Manic Monday.

Leave for work: 6:55 a.m.

Arrive home: 7:55 p.m.

Does anyone see a problem with that?

Please note: except for hitting a Mexican restaurant for lunch I never left the office nor did I do any stops on the way home.

Draft Day.

With college football season approach our annual rite of passage appeared today: the draft! Here's how it works. You draw one team from each Division IA (no bloody bowl championship series nonsense) and you can pick an independent (Army, Navy, Notre Dame) or an extra team from a conference as your wildcard pick. Every win a team gets is one point. The person with the most number of points/wins after the bowl games is the winner.

Please note: 2 years ago I won! Last year I was second place in two leagues.

I managed to do some research, but I was never able to scare up 30 precious minutes at lunch to research half a league. Since I'm not home an average of 11 hours a day I didn't have much time to research at home either. Still I managed to get about 2/3 of my predictions down before the draft. Compared to many people that's more research than they do.

*drum roll please*

ACC: North Carolina. Eh okay.
Big 12: Oklahoma St. I think they're okay.
Big East: South Florida. I honestly think the can be 10-2 this year. Maybe.
Big 10: Ohio State. My first round pick. 10-2 at worst and could be undefeated going into the bowl games.
Conference -USA: UTEP. Oh crap! This was a later round pick obviously.
MAC: Kent State. I think they can hit .500 and maybe a little bit more.
Mountain West: Utah. I think 9 or 10 wins is realistic.
PAC 10: Arizona. Is 8-4 realistic this year?
SEC: LSU. 10 wins easy!
Sun Belt: Troy! I wanted Florida Atlantic, but I'm okay with Troy. Everyone moaned as the only two teams worth anything in the conference were gone now.
WAC: New Mexico State. My last pick and oh does it show. I'm hoping for 4 wins and I'm hoping they're better than Utah State or Idaho since those were my other choices at the time.
WILDCARD: Navy. 7 wins for a wildcard isn't bad. Possibly 8 but that's stretching I believe.

Now on Saturdays, Thursdays, and whatever other night ESPN decides to put games on I will be paying attention to conferences I normally don't care about. Why, because they're my teams baby!

Oh I love this time of you! College football is the best sport ever!

Quote Of The Day.

Clerk: What is wrong with this week? We go from one crazy thing to another every day!

Me: It's like a week filled with all Mondays.


Quote Number 2:
*The note says to call at my earliest convenience.*

Me: I'm sorry I wasn't able to get back with you. Your note said to call at my earliest convenience and there was nothing convenient about today."

Oh That Had To Hurt!

My phone rang. The Court wondered where my boss was. I told them he had another hearing in another court and possibly running late, but I'll go see if he has the file for the hearing they were calling about. If the hearing wasn't on his calendar then I would prep the file myself and be up there in a few minutes. My boss has a problem getting hearings on his calendar, especially with this court. I knew the judge wasn't going to like this.

I found the folder in our file room. That's not a good sign. I prepped it in a few minutes and ran upstairs. While the judge wasn't happy to see me, the judge wasn't angry towards me. I consider that a win. For a complete lack of familiarity with the file and the parties I thought the hearing was going okay. There was one issue that came up and I explained to the judge what my theory was based on the facts presented. Someone, somewhere much further up the chain of command changed a procedure and it was causing lots of problems. While the new procedure seemed like a good idea, the way it was being implemented was causing lots of problems. Again the judge wasn't happy, but the judge's anger wasn't directed at me.

One party brought up a second issue. I was trying to explain that shouldn't be an issue, but I would be more than happy to double check a few things before the next hearing. At that point my boss showed up.

That was his first mistake. He tried to help the situation. That was his second mistake. The phrase involving too many cooks in the kitchen came to mind. We weren't even talking about an issue at that point, but some other side issue that I thought should have been dealt with between the parties after the hearing. The judge was waiting for everyone to resolve their issues before proceeding. At that point I asked if I should stay or go. Smart question on my part. I left to handle another one of my boss's hearings with the file he brought.

Granted, what should have been a simple hearing proved to be problematic. At least I wasn't with my boss and the judge anymore. I figure the judge eviscerated my boss in under 5 seconds after I left.

I'm Feeling That Heart Attack Coming Now.

For all the screaming and moaning I realize that gas prices are the result of huge external forces that various groups have little control over. However, I just got my credit card bill in the mail and once again I'm in shock. For the second month in a row my gas receipts are more than my student loan payment!

I'm so glad prices are coming down, but I so need to get a job in Big City as soon as I can. I hope I can last another 18 months or so. Just need more experience before I can job hop.

Show Me The Money!

Dear Budget Gods:

Please approve our budget. It would be nice to officially work more hours to accurately reflect the hours I actually work. Well, at least more accurately reflect the true hours. According to your current system I donate a full extra day of work per week already. The more accurate pay would be appreciated. To be honest we could use 3 more people, but since we don't have the space that's a moot point.

Overworked and underpaid. Yep that's a typical attorney.

Thank you,
Wolfrham Hart

We Need More Mr. Chapels In The World.

I'm at GeekFest for a few hours. I'm finding all sorts of interesting items. I get into one stall and see some interesting DVDs. One package had a personal fav of mine: Vengeance Unlimited. If you don't recall the series I don't blame you. It was a 1998 fan favorite for one season. Too bad more fans preferred Friends in that time slot. If you're familiar with The Equalizer it's the same basic idea. Michael Madsen is Mr. Chapel: a street smart righter of wrongs. If the legal system has screwed you over, don't worry because Mr. Chapel is on the case and will fix the problem. The characters, the writing, the story ideas, the haunting piano in the credits, the background soundtrack, were awesome.

Of course because I loved the show it disappeared after one season.

I plop the DVD into the player and notice the menu is very plain. When I hit play the sound quality isn't good. You hear that old static that truly plagued video tapes all the time when the quality wasn't good. The I notice the station identifying bug in the lower right corner. Channel 5???? OMG this is some friggin' bootleg copy and not an actual studio release. I paid $35 for this! At least the commercials weren't recorded as well.

I'm disappointed by the mediocre quality and the fact the studio will likely never put out an official edition of Vegeance Unlimited. I'm disappointed by the fact I paid $35 for this. On the plus side I've already gone through the first 4 episodes and am still amazed the show is as good now as it was in my memories.

If a one season wonder like Firefly can be made into a well loved, seldom seen movie, why not Vengeance Unlimited?

"Every day when I wake up I try to imagine the kind of world I want to live in. I can actually picture it in my mind. It wouldn't be a paradise. There would still be traffic jams, and bad coffee, and award shows. But I tell you what there wouldn't be, nobody like you. The rich, arrogant, lying, selfish. Not one single one of you left on the face of the earth.

I don't just sit around dreaming about this. I work at it, I work very hard every day to make it real. In fact, I'm about 3 seconds away from making it happen."

-Mr. Chapel
Vengeance Unlimited

I Hear Mulder And Scully Are On The Case.

Today we had, not one, but two paranormal news stories of infamous creatures.

1. Several people claim to have a Bigfoot body in Georgia (the state, not the place having a civil war with Russia). They're going to have a press conference on Friday to present their evidence. When I click on the link to see the pictures I'm wondering how do you stuff a Bigfoot into a freezer?

2. A sheriff's deputy in Texas has in-car video of the supposed chupacabra. After watching the video I don't see how it kills livestock and drinks their blood. Unless it's vampiric chupacabra and needs to put on the game face. Would that mean the even more mythical chupacabra slayer is out there? In every generation one is born correct?

Okay I've seen too many episodes of Monsterquest now.

Quote Of The Day.

Concerning the fact former presidential candidate John Edwards admits to sleeping with a photographer as his wife is dying of cancer.

Fabulously Gay Roommate: I'm tired of these holier than thou politicians who preach family values. All the Democrats cheat on their wives, and all the Republicans end up being homosexuals.

I'm not sure which is better: the quote or who said it!

I Am Three People Currently.

Dear Boss,

Everyone is entitled to a vacation. However I've come to the conclusion I do the work of three people when you're gone. This is truly a reflection of how understaffed we are in Small Town. I've also noticed that you keep picking weeks that are very heavy with your hearings. Yet another reason why I'm doing the work of three people, because I suddenly have three times the hearings!

I realize this week was an accident and things occurred that were beyond your control. However, concerning today and tomorrow: I hate you. I couldn't prepare for the monster that is tomorrow because I was cleaning up several of your messes today. Some people, not me, like the fact you're gone because certain things run smoother when they go through me. Personally I would rather have you do your stuff because I'm too busy doing my own stuff.

Get back to Small Town soon. I need a vacation from your vacation.

Sincerely,
Wolfrham Hart

School Starts Tomorrow?!?!

Not for me thankfully, but for the local school systems. We're not even halfway though August and students are already reporting to classes starting tomorrow, Tuesday, or Wednesday.

The only reason they do this is to get ready for standardized testing. Indoctrinate the students for weeks just to improve the exams. I hate teaching for the test. Teach the students how to think through a problem will serve them better in the long run.

Oh well, when I was in school I was always in summer band so I never really had 3 months off anyway.

Revelations

I'm staring at my roommate as he plays with his Wii. He LOVES that thing and plays with it every day. I've played with it twice. I'm watching be engrossed in the artificial world where he bowls, plays tennis, and putts for bogie. Suddenly it occurs to me what a Wii actually is.

It's a precursor to the holodeck!

To which my roomie replies, "Well duh!"

Riddle Me This...

Why is it when my boss is out my workload triples? To make it worse it simply takes longer to get the simple things done. I seem to catch more weird stuff when the boss it out. We've certainly had a big load of weird stuff lately. I'm always more exhausted than normal when this happens.

Ugh.

Luckily This Wasn't One Of Mine.

*Sitting in the jury room waiting for the prior hearing to finish.*

Texan: I was appointed to this one freak and man was he weird.

Me: There are a lot of weird things around here. What made this guy so special?

Texan: He had a lot of quirks. One Thanksgiving he went into the restroom and the family heard glass breaking and he was screaming.

Me: *raises eyebrow at this point*

Texan: They rushed him to the hospital and the doctors removed a broken peanut butter jar out of his ass.

Me: What was this moran thinking? I'm trying to think at what point shoving a peanut butter jar up your butt seems like a good idea.

It's things like this that reinforce why I hate people.

The Dark Knight

Short Review: This movie is officially kickass. In fact is may be the first movie that is beyond kickass! At a bare minimum the kickass scale needs to be recalibrated.

Long Review: It's a shame some people will simply view this as a comic book movie. The Dark Knight is truly an exploration of the meaning of good and evil. It is an exploration of the questions: do the costs justify the results and are the ends worth the means? Can something good come out of something evil, or what some may say is evil? This movie takes you into the darkness and dares you to swim in it. Writer/Director Christopher Nolan has learned much from Shakespeare's tales.

Even at 2 hours, 30 minutes this movie doesn't feel long. It's very long on plot (overplotted even), but there aren't any slow spots. Don't drink anything for at least an hour before the movie so your bladder is empty. You're not going to get any potty breaks for this one. You see how what is good for Batman is bad for Bruce Wayne. You see the burdens his assistance must bear on Batman's quest for justice.

You get most of the same top notch cast as in Batman Begins. If anything Maggie Gyallenhall as the love interest Rachel Dawes is a vast improvement of the dooey eyed and way too young for the part Katie Holmes. I've never seen Maggie Gyallenhall in anything before, but she worked this meatier role well. Heath Ledger as the Joker deserves all the buzz. This Joker is the most amoral, roving agent of chaos ever seen. Oscar-worthy? We'll never know since the Academy ignores comic-book movies except for technical categories like Sound Editing or such. This Joker doesn't have plans. He simply loves to destroy other's plans because he can. This Joker loves to show others that evil is within all of us, or at least everyone will ignore their rules if the right circumstance appears. Does that count as evil?

The Dark Knight will make you think a bit if you're willing to absorb its ideas. If you walk out of the theater vaguly disturbed the movie did its job. This movie is so kickass I may go see it again. I may even pay for an IMAX experience.

After the movie can you answer this question: would you have pushed the button knowing another button was out there?

"Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...and so we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...a dark knight."

I Used To Get Around A Lot.

I hope I will still travel a lot in the future.

Your Travel Personality Is: The Adventurer

For you, travel is how you learn about the world. And you like to learn the stuff that's not in guidebooks. You truly have wanderlust. When you're not traveling, you're dreaming about where you'll go next. And your travels are truly legendary - they leave you with stories you'll be telling for the rest of your life!

What's Your Travel Personality?

I Have To Admit: I've Always Wanted To Learn It.

Could I be the next Kenny Wayne Shepard or Eddie Van Halen?

You Should Play the Guitar

You're very independent - both in spirit and in the way you learn. You can teach yourself almost anything, even if it makes your fingers bleed. You're not really the type to sit patiently through a music lesson - or do things by the book. It's more your style to master the fundamentals and see where they take you. Highly creative and a bit eclectic, you need a wide range of music to play. You could emerge as a sensitive songwriter... or a manic rock star. Your dominant personality characteristic: being rebellious Your secondary personality characteristic: tenacity

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

Good Luck At The Bar (Exam)!

Today is the first day of the bar exam. I only know one person taking it this year. Good luck to all. The exam is a right of passage and intellectual marathon. Honestly I think anyone who is pretty smart,has good analytical abilities, and takes a good bar review course can pass the exam. Notice I didn't say attended a law school was a requirement.

Once you're finished with the exam tomorrow go drinking. Trust me that was the best part of the exam: FINISHING IT!

The Hits Just Keep On Coming.

Speaking of the death of the middle class, I just found out the Fabulously Gay Roommate was laid off Tuesday. Okay I'm somewhat disturbed he didn't mention it until today. Actually I asked him if he had today off and then he explained he was laid off.

Ummm...perhaps we don't communicate as well as I hope. Granted I didn't even get home until very late on Tuesday, but he could have mentioned it on Wednesday.

Is there some cosmic force that allows only one person who lives here to be employed at a time?

The Numbers Don't Look Good.

In response to rising gas prices some employers are offering 4 day work weeks with extended hours. Many people are jumping on the chance to commute one less day a week, spend time with family, and get personal things done.

Small Town isn't offering such a policy.

Our office is so small we couldn't serve people if we split the staff up into 4 day shifts and still cover a 5 day week for the public. The days we have been down 1 or 2 people due to vacations and illness put too big a strain on the rest of us.

Yet if such a policy were in place I would take it in a heartbeat. A third non-working day to my life would help me get so many things done. It would help my finances a bit too. I got my credit card bill today. I spent more on gasoline for my commute than I did on my student loan payment!

I think the American middle class is finally dying. We're certainly struggling mightily now.

The Rules Of Life.

Just one question: can someone explain to me why as soon as I have some money in my checking account something happens that requires me to write a big check? On the plus side the car runs so much better now so it might be worth the expense, but that hurt my wallet big time!

X Marks The Spot

No I'm not dead. I've been busy at work or not around during the weekend. Hopefully I'll explain the weekend later. It was fun. In the mean time here's a quiz just for you to play with.

You Belong in Generation X

You fit in best with people born between 1961 and 1981. You are fun, laid back, and very independent. You are willing to take risks and live your life however you see fit. You are casual, accepting, and friendly. You see everyone as your equal.

What Generation Do You Belong In?

I Disagree. Darth Vader Shall Always Be #1.

Lists are often created to be a source of debate. Someone came up with the list of the best movie villains of all time. I do like the list because it isn't focused solely on the modern era. It has villains from the 1930's, the 1950's, and many icons from the last 30 years. I'll give preview of some of my favorites; Khan, the T-1000 Terminator, and Hans Gruber are on the list. These are the villains that made the best of the good guys so good.

My problem with the list is Darth Vader is NOT #1. He has Jedi magic to kill insolent people with. He has a dark foreboding baritone voice. He had a Darth Star that destroyed planets. He chopped off his own son's hand. He dresses in all black and has a cape. He even a has iconic soundtrack! It is as if the list penalized Lord Vader for George Lucas' crappy rendition of his new trilogy. Darth Vader didn't even really exist until the middle of the middle of the third movie and the character shouldn't be penalized for that.

My Lord, when I finally turn to the Dark Side, you are the evil I aspire to be!

How I Feel Every Morning.

Max: Rise and shine, Professor.
Professor Fate: You rise! You shine!

-The Great Race

Quote Of The Day.

I finally figured out what a lot of these people need here. The Chuck Norris Roundhous Kick Of Justice! (tm)

Time For Some Campaignin'

They're at it again.

I Have Such Eclectic Tastes

What Your Taste in Music Says About You

Your musical tastes are intense and rebellious. You are intelligent... but in a very unconventional way. You are curious about the world. You love doing something new. In fact, you enjoy taking risks and doing things most people would shy away from. You are very physical. It's likely that you're athletic, but not into team sports. You have the soul of an artist. Beauty and harmony are important to you.

What Does Your Taste in Music Say About You?

More Is Better.

If one 300 Saturn Missile Battery is good, then TWO 300 Saturn Missile Batteries must be better. A guy at the party and I reasoned that bit of wisdom. We both purchased a battery and we lit them together to start the show Saturday night.



From this video I can tell someone took our idea a little further out. A 6,400 Saturn Missile Battery must be bad ass!

Misfire.

*Setting off my finale shots for the 4th of July. Upon watching the first shot go horizontally along the ground into some brush and exploding*

The Crowd: Uh-oh!

ME: Oh that's not right. I hope the other 24 shots go up.


Analysis: sometimes I wonder about my underwhelming style. In the face of danger I guess it's better to be underwhelmed and rational versus panicked. I hope so anyway. Oh, the other 24 shots did rocket up and explode. It was a cool finale.

Where's DogHound?

Someone is going to have to find DogHound again. He likes to go hiding at times.

The Bombs Bursting In Air!

I'm heading to a friend's for the 4th. He and his wife recently built a home in the country. They have 10 acres and a small pond out there. I helped work on their bathrooms during the winter by installing tile. Anyway the invitation said to bring fireworks if you wanted to. Oh really!

It has been forever since I've been in a fireworks store. In Big City there simply isn't any place to fire them off. Big Sky Country on the other hand is a whole lot of empty! I hit the ATM ahead of time. I simply needed some cash. I wasn't even planning on hitting a fireworks store. Then I figured $20 could buy some decent stuff.

American: Celebrate It's Birth By Blowing Stuff Up!

That should be the name of every fireworks store. Buy one: get one free! I don't understand the economics that allow all the freebies, but hey I'll accept it. The dude tried to sell me various things. Some made big boom. Others made big sparks. Some stuff for $5 gives you what $5 will give you. Mortars for $50 sound like fun, but that might be for next year. Anything that advertises 300 rockets is a must buy. Sure they're itty-bitty rockets, but it had 300 of them for $12! At the cash register they GAVE me a 5 pack of bottle rockets and then just tossed in a 4 pack of something when they finished bagging everything. What are they? Who cares it was free!

Now I need to buy a cheap lighter for Friday night :-)

Quantum Of Solace

Weird title, but the next James Bond film looks very promising if the trailer is any indication!

*Edited for the right title! Whoops my mind saw a completely different word. Now the title makes a little more sense.

It's A Pet Peeve Of Mine.

Dude, the recycling bin is for recycling metal, glass, certain plastics, and paper. It would be a major stretch to call tree limbs a preprocessed paper.

It wouldn't be so bad if the bins had ambiguous instructions, but...oh give me a break. Something that whacked means you just don't care. Tree limbs burn. Could you have used a chiminea to burn them later? You could have put them in a garbage bag and sent them out in the trash.

No, instead you took the time to put them in your pickup truck, drive all the way to the recycling bin, and then dumped them in the bin. You dumped in something that didn't belong despite the obvious instructions not too.

Does anyone else have little pet peeves like this?

Weird And Creepy People.

Incident #1: Okay this is as much a reflection of how pathetic my social life is. It's Saturday night and to kill some time I'm at a bookstore reading magazines. I pick up some magazines and purchase my token root beer as an offering to the fine establishment for letting me kill a few hours with their inventory.

I see the subject in question. He's a white male, approximately 25-35 years old, and he has the odd circular head movement that combined with this huge grin and eyes popping out of his skill indicate to me that he is enjoying himself. The extreme outward enjoyment is odd to me and then I notice what he is reading: Short Hair. His entire stack of magazines are Vogue, YM, and other female teen/young lady oriented mags. The subject keeping going to that section of the magazine rack and pulls those type of magazines to his table where he obviously enjoys looking at them. I can't think of a reason why a guy would be reading those magazines, and I definitely can't think of why a man reading such magazines would be obviously enjoying himself to that extent. My conclusion was simple: pedophile.

I suspect I'll watch the news in a few years and see this guy's photo pop up with the caption, "Police Catch Suspected Pedophile In Internet Sting." If only I could somehow get his name or license plate so I can ask some police friends to run that information and prevent any future bad things I suspect this dork to do.

Oh how my life has become so suspicious and judgmental of other. On the other hand can anyone else explain this weird behavior?

Incident #2: The Fabulously Gay Roommate didn't come home last night. He often spends the weekends with his significant other. I knew FGR had to work today. He sometimes has the weekend shift. I figured he would spend the night at sig other's and just go to work from there. He had his overnight bag so why waste coming here to go to work. At 6:00 a.m. I hear something and wake up slightly. I only have about 15 to 20 neurons firing but I'm trying to wake up and think what is going on. Did FGR come home for some reason?

I see my bedroom door open and it is the sig other. Somehow I mumble, "hey" and sig other closes my bedroom door. In 0.3 seconds my brain finally fires up and I have the thought: Well that was odd. Why did he open up my bedroom door? Hold on, why did he OPEN MY BEDROOM DOOR!!! Am I wrong to think that a good social rule to follow, regardless of if you're male, female, straight, gay, bi, or a polka-dot lover, is: IF SOMEONE'S BEDROOM DOOR IS CLOSED YOU DON'T OPEN IT!

Traditionally you should knock on the door, asking if the individual is awake; therefore, awakening the individual. At that point the annoyed and groggy individual can say come in. The Supreme Court says we have the greatest expectation of privacy in the bedroom and I certainly want to claim that privilege! Even if the privacy is protecting the fact I'm asleep.

I admit this incident isn't the end of the world or something to have a shouting match over, but I find it quite annoying. Am I overreacting by being a bit perturbed?

Speaking of bed it is time for me to sleep. Good night all. I hope your bedroom door stays closed unless you want it want someone to come through it.

6-30-2008 Update:

Now I have an explanation for my roommate and sig other's odd behavior yesterday morning. Alcohol and way too much of it. It appears they were hammered from too much liquor. I don't know why I didn't think of booze before hand! To quote the roomie, "Jager, it seemed like a good idea at the time!"

Get Your Robot On.

Courtesy of So many book reviews. Sad to say I knew most of them and didn't need to guess but a few.

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

It Is A Training Video On How To Act With Police.

The 21st Century American philosopher Chris Rock presents "How to not get your ass kicked by police." These are wise words people. Please watch from the privacy of your own home.

I Would Like To Thank THIS OLD HOUSE For The Useful Tip.

I went over to a friend's house in another small town near Big City. The floods wiped out his basement, but luckily his house is 2 cinder blocks higher than any other in the neighborhood. ONLY his basement was flooded unlike his neighbors. After a few hours of work I needed to leave, but we're chatting a bit in the driveway. The topic of conversation is an ancient coal fired furnace that hasn't been used in 50 years, but still inhabits the basement.

Me: $1,200 just to take out that furnace! I guess it's best that insurance will replace your gas one, but that rusting hulk takes up so much space.

Flooded Friend: I wonder if I could talk to some scrappers who would demolish it for free just for the scrape value of the cast iron?

Me: There's an idea. They're going to need some acetylene torches to cut that thing up. You got easily 1,000 to 1,500 lbs of cast iron down there.

*Wolfrham starts to vaguely recall some old science.*

*mutters to self and gets quizical look from friend*

Me: All that cast iron...all that CAST iron...all that CAST IRON!!!! Dude, you don't need a ton of torches, you need a few sledgehammers and some beer for some helpful friends! Cast iron is a very brittle metal. Hit that old furnace with a sledgehammer and it'll shatter into a 1,000 pieces.

Flooded Friend: *thinks about it for a few seconds* Beer and burger for you guys would be a lot cheaper than $1,200!

I Haven't Had A Vacation Since The Summer Of 2001.

This does sound like a good idea. I'm thinking a nice remote cabin.

You Should Spend Your Summer in the Mountains

You're quiet, introspective, and a great thinker. You need a summer vacation that gets you away from the crowds and the heat. So retreat to the mountains, where you can clear your head.

Where Should You Spend Your Summer?

Put Captain Jack Harkness On The Case!

A Welsh police helicopter chased a "unusual aircraft" flying over the capital of Cardiff. The British tabloids exagerated the incident a bit, but it's obvious the police report never mentioned the phrase "UFO" for obvious reasons.

I'm not worried about it. Torchwood 3 is on the case by now!

Oh Hail!

Ping, pop, drap, drap, snap.

Yet another spring summer thunderstorm. Just what we need with all the recent floods. This one is a little different. It provide pea sized hail for my enjoyment. I wish my car was in the carport. Oh well this stuff is small so I doubt it'll dent my sheetmetal.

A few minute ago we had sheets of rain falling. Now it's just a light shower with the low long rumble of thunder as background noise. Except for the 50 megaton rumble that just went by me.

So far we have no tornadoes.

Writers Block.

Sorry for the lack of posts. The brain was fried this week. It was so bad, that when I got home last night I told the roommate I was just going to take a nap. 6 hours later I work up and it was after midnight.

Time is a luxury I don't have right now. No offense, but instead of posting a riveting story or snarky commentary I'm going to choose sleep. Do any of you feel like that sometimes?

We Sprung A Leak.

Clerk: They have the basement full of sandbags.

Me: What? I was just down there. What's going on?

Clerk: We're getting water from somewhere. Someone thought it was the air conditioning condenser.

Me: This building isn't that big. If a condenser is producing water it would be from the humidity in the air, not the a/c itself. Are we leaking from the flood?

BIG BOSS: Hey if you have any files downstairs you might want to get the upstairs. The pump isn't keeping up with the water. Oh yeah we're shutting off the a/c so just open up your windows if you want air.

Me (under my breathe): You've got to be kidding me.

*Goes downstairs to see what's going on.*

Clerk: You think it's okay to use the restroom?

Me: Nothing wrong with the water that I've heard. I wouldn't use the one down here though without a life jacket.

My Philosophy Of Life, The Job, And Likely Everything Else.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. "
Agent K to Agent J
Men In Black

If I could explain how my day was a true reflection of that quote I would. Right now I'm going to collapse into bed.

Break Out The Defibulators!

It finally happened. I've been trying to avoid it. I've lucked out a few weekends and find cheaper sources. This time I was SOL. I paid over $4.00/gallon for gasoline.

I'm glad I don't have an SUV, but I still burn 2.5 to 3 gallons a day just for my commute. I can only go 3 or 3.5 days without filling up. If we had a light rail system between Big City and Small Town I would get a rail pass in a heartbeat.

Speaking of heartbeats mine stopped when I realized I was going to pay $4.09/gallon!

What's In A Name?

You Like Names That Are Classic and Timeless

You prefer quality names that have stood the test of time. You don't like anything that's trendy today and outdated next year. Names are important to you, and naming someone should not be an social experiment. You are the type most likely to name someone after a family member. Some female names you might like: Andrea, Elizabeth, Hannah, Julia, Marie, Nicole, and Victoria Some male names you might like: Aaron, Benjamin, Christopher, Jonathan, Matthew, Thomas, and Zachary

What Kind of Names Do You Like?

Rain Rain Go Away!

I'm tired of heavy thunderstorms every few days. I'm tired of the occasional tornado. I'm tired of hearing about all the flooding. I'm tired of driving around Small Town and seeing the contents of an entire house on the curb. I'm tired of hearing about people that work with me who have lost everything. I'm tired of hearing about friends in other nearby small towns have flooding in their homes. I'm tired of driving in a storm so fierce I wonder if I should stop on the side of the road or continue on at 20 m.p.h. with my flashers on.

I love the stark beauty of a good storm, but enough is enough.

I Can't Get There From Here.

It's been a long day in Small Town. I get on the highway and within a few minutes stop. What's the cause of the hold up? I have no idea and the radio isn't giving me any useful information. I do a u-turn and figure I'll take some backroads to bypass the mess and go home. I don't know the backroads at all, but I figure I can navigate by the sun.

After 15-20 minutes on the twisty, narrow, sunny, shady, and partially washed out roads I ended up exactly where I started. I have NO IDEA how I ended up in a loop, but some of those roads curved all over the place.

A second highway out of Small Town will get me to Big City; however, it takes me to the wrong side of town. It also has some severe construction on it and the back ups have proven most frustrating. I decided to take the long way around. It would take me over 10 extra miles and through another small town, but at least I would be going in the right direction. Sort of the right direction. At least this highway is well marked and I know it goes somewhere useful.

I'll admit is was a nice drive. The temps had dropped, and several caravans of Harleys were on the road. The highway had quite a few curves so I had to downshift and drive the road a bit. It's just a shame it took 3 hours to get home!

What The Legal Profession Will Evolve Into.

I try to spread the word. Don't go into law school, it isn't worth it. Too many law schools generate too many graduates and the job market simply isn't there to absorb the newbies.

To prove the point take a look at what the profession will be.*


*Yes that was Bill Nye The Science Guy.

I Could Use A Good Vacation Beach.

For janiejane to swipe if she pleases :-)

What the Beach Test Says About You

You like people, but you're careful about who you get close to. Friendship is important to you... so important that you aren't just friends with anyone. You fall in love with ease and confidence. Even if you've had bad experiences in the past, each new love is a reason to start completely over. You are deeply passionate about several things in your life. You're not passionate about much... and the few passions you have are truly obsessions. Your sense of humor is goofy and silly. You are good at making almost anyone laugh.

The Beach Test

The Cupid Shield.

The third date brought out the first kiss. Two weeks later it brought the email. She enjoyed her time with me, but with her job taking her to conventions all the time she just didn't want to devote time to dating. Intellectually I completely agreed with her line of reasoning. She traveled a lot for her job. Our three dates were over a more than two month period because of her conventions. I was worried about the amount of time I spent on the job and commuting to the job. It was hard for me to find a clear time in my schedule for a date. Despite all that, I still hated getting the rejection email. The human heart is an emotional thing, not a rational thing.

While I'm glad in some ways I'm tired of this romantic netherworld I inhabit. I used to work nights so I couldn't meet anyone unless she had my vampiric tendencies. Then I went to law school. Law school is not conducive to meeting anyone. The pressure makes people psycho and isn't a relationship nurturing environment. The one fellow student I tried to express an interest in gutted me in way I didn't know possible. Then it took several years just to find a job that used my degree. Unemployment gets in the way of dating. It's too expensive and women tend to frown on deadbeats. It isn't very good for the self esteem either. Now that I have the full time job I still don't want to get into the dating pool. I can't meet the time and money commitments right now. I'm still trying to rebuild my life from the 5 year school/unemployment hole that was created. After the hour commute from Small Town the last thing I want to do at night is stay out for awhile longer, no matter how cute she may be.

Yet I'm lonely. I was okay with being alone, but I've been lonely for a long time now. I'm tired of waiting for my life to get back together enough that I can be with someone again. Please don't think I'm asking for my life to be perfect before I reenter the dating pool. Far from it! I would like it to be relatively normal and have no more than a typical amount of stress. I don't know when it happened, but I stopped looking for a woman to date a long time ago. I'm looking for a mate at this point in my life. I'm looking for someone to share this live with. I suppose that's when I started to become lonely instead of alone.

I'm starting to feel my age. I'm starting to feel time slipping from me, time I can't get back. I put up a jokingly false bravado about my old man status. I can't let my friends see that I truly understand the importance of our finite time. In the time since my last major relationship I've known people to first meet their future spouse, get married, and already have one or two children. I have no desire to rush into anything. A bad relationship is far worse than no relationship. I've lived that enough times. Yet when can I start sharing my soul with a companion? When can I start to think in terms of 'we' and 'our'? When will my life be stable enough that I can offer someone a piece of me?

For too many years my life went backwards or nowhere. I'm slowly feeling some forward progress. I wish I could feel more progress. I wish I could finally share my life instead of coldly observe it. For so many things in live I prefer that cold rational mode, yet in the end I secretly crave the warmth of an emotional love. We all have our secrets, even me.

IronMan vs. Indiana Jones

IronMan: I give it an 8.

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull: I give it a 6.

I don't think Indiana Jones was a bad movie. It just wasn't an Indiana Jones movie.

Quote Of The Day.

Me: I'm trying to reduce the amount of caffeine in my life. I had the morning cup of coffee and the driving cup of coffee, but I haven't had any since then.

Fabulously Gay Roommate: That might be a good thing. How is it working out for you?

Me: I was doing okay until 3:14 when I shot a disgruntled postal worker.

Quote Of The Day II.

Friend: Yeah I was surprised my little brother was sometimes in charge of the nuclear weapons aboard the ship. They had a 4 to 6 month supply and I guess the only major difference was a few extra pieces of paper.

Me: Hold on! What exactly constitutes a 4 to 6 month supply of NUCLEAR weapons?

Quote Of The Day.

I can't believe that lady gave you lip after you told her to leave. You're the deputy! Next time just break out the tazer and show her what the law truly feels like.

You Don't Always Get What You Want.

Pissed Off Lady #1: He just skirts the system and never gets in jail.

Me: Ma'am if you can show me where being irresponsible dumbass who can't hold a job is reason enough to send someone to jail I'll gladly ask for it.


I agree some jail time would be a good attitude adjuster for the guy, but I need more reasoning than, "He should go to jail so he'll get his life in shape!"

The Eyes Say It All.

This is DogHound's say of saying, "No one loves me. I haven't been petted in 5 minutes." Needy little bugger isn't he?

I Can't Wait For Dr. Jones To Come Back.

T-minus 3 days until the new Indiana Jones movie. I'm so stoked! I am so stoked that I'm afraid the movie won't measure up to my expectations. I grew up with these movies. I've waited 19 years for this comeback. Between Indiana Jones and Batman The Dark Knight I don't really care about any other movies this summer.

PS: I hope this comeback is a wee bit better than the Die Hard comeback last year.

PPS: Indian Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull is too long a title. Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull would work so much better.

PPPS: Thanks to janiejane for the reminder! How could I have forgotten about The X-Files sequel as well? I hate to say this since I loved early X-Files, but I've only seen the movie once. It didn't make that huge an impression on me. On the other hand anthing that gets David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson on the big screen I'm all for.

A Mustang Convertible Would Be Perfect.

Courtesy of janiejane at So many books reviews.

You Should Spend Your Summer on a Road Trip

For you, the summer is all about possibilities. And you're not going to be tied down. This is the time for you to embark on an epic road trip, with no ultimate destination in mind. You know you'll have a ton of crazy adventures... at least until you run out of cash!

Where Should You Spend Your Summer?

If I Didn't Get Over 30 Miles Per Gallon I Would Be Hurting Even More!

I'm one of those guys who keeps track of his gas mileage. I just filled up and out of curiosity was curious how much I've spent on gas this May. With the long commute between Big City and Small Town I'm spending around $10/day on gasoline alone.

Yet another reason I'm in favor of regional rapid transit.

To Be Fall

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times... You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you

What Season Are You?

I love the colors. I love the brisk breezes.

Things I Need To Know Ahead Of Time.

Court staff: Oh he's not coming to the hearing Wolfrham. He'll never be in court again.

Me: Why not?

Court staff: He died 2 months ago.

Me: Oh! I wish someone would have told me that earlier.

The Fraggles Are Coming! The Fraggles Are Coming!

Strangely enough during a long road trip Fraggle Rock did enter our conversation. I'm not sure I would go to a feature length movie full of the buggers though. If only I could dance my cares away. Life would be so much simpler.

Quote Of The Day.

Playing music is supposed to be fun. It's about heart, it's about feelings, moving people, and something beautiful, and it's not about notes on a page. I can teach you notes on a page, I can't teach you that other stuff.
- Mr. Glenn Holland
Mr. Holland's Opus

Mother Nature Does Not Like Mother's Day.

Cold, windy, heavy showers. What a mucky Mother's Day. At least Mama Hart enjoyed her lunch. No movies to enjoy though. We looked through everything and nothing looked good.

Quote Of The Day.

Yeah it's a little hard to do work when the fire department evacuates you to the lawn.

The First Rule Of The Checkbook.

Friday: get direct deposit of paycheck.
Saturday and Sunday: write checks.
Monday: realize most of the pay check is already gone.

Between paying paying taxes, football ticket season renewal, rent, a MasterCard full of gas receipts and one splurge on a real digital camera, one oil change, license plate renewal, and who knows what else my checking account is feeling extremely violated these past 30 days.

I'm really hoping there aren't any more large or surprise bills coming in the next few months. I was hoping I got away from the bad old days of living paycheck to paycheck.

Philosophy Of The Day

Chuck Norris can dribble a football.

Umm...Chocolate

Courtesy of So Many Book Reviews.

What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You

You are sophisticated, modern, and high class. Your taste is refined, but you are not picky. You are often the first to try something new. You are passionate and full of life. You fall in love easily, and you tend to have whirlwind relationships. Your passion sometimes does get the better of you. You have a crazy temper! You love being by yourself and thinking. Developing your own theories and ideas is fun. You feel lost when you're forced to be social. Being with other people can be lonely for you.

The Chocolate Oracle