The Esoteric Objects

I have an extensive collection of esoteric objects that reflect my love of various movies, television shows, and numerous hobbies. When people find one of the objects in my esoteric collection they tend to have one of three reactions: 1) Oh you like such and such. 2) What the hell is that? 3) OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A...! It is fun to watch their reactions. What is the most fun is when someone else is in the know. They see the object, recognize what it is or what it means, and they appreciate its coolness. Some things are just a subtle wink and a nod and I appreciate that.

Though I refuse to pay 2 day shipping which would ensure arrival before Christmas I stumbled upon something that is very very cool. At least to me it is extremely cool and it will add to my esoteric collection. I can't wait for the first person to notice it on my wall and just grin in amazement.

Merry Christmas folks. I hope your holiday shopping is already finished.

When The Boss Is Out Of Town...

I'm worked to death! I have to be in multiple courtrooms at once. I'm get all of the screwy problems. The number of hearings aren't too bad, except for Thursday, but the issues seem full of an extra helping of crap and inconvenience. Just as I settle in my chair to work on something of my choosing something else pops up.

I'm just tired and needing a big break soon. At least the holiday is approaching and I'll get a brief respite. At least I hope so.

Snowzilla Can't Escape The Law!

This story has it all. 1) A 2 story tall snowman. 2) The snowman's name is Snowzilla. 3) All this clean fun is dashed by a city code enforcement officer.

When you can't build a snowman in your own front yard I feel the Man has gone too far!

Random Thoughts

It was nice to have a 4 day holiday. Okay I worked 4 hours on Friday just to catch up on a few things. Key word sadly was 'few.' At least I got the files out of my inbox and got rid of a few things.

Winter has arrived. When you wake up to a half inch of snow today it is an easy conclusion to make. A shame it melted away by this evening.

How the hell is my checkbook off by around $500.00 after I've balanced it? I'll take a closer look at it during lunch tomorrow. Perhaps I added something when I should have subtracted, or transposed some numbers, but it balanced last month! My checkbook always used to balance, but the last few years it always seems like my checkbook is off by some pocket change every month. I'm convinced the bank has some program to randomly steal or deposit all the half penny transactions in a branch and play with my account. Give me a break, a personal checking account isn't that hard! You only deal with addition or subtraction.

For all the money I pay Sallie Mae couldn't they provide the envelopes to send in my student loan payments? My credit card companies and utilities send envelopes, so why not Sallie Mae?

The final episodes of Battlestar Galactica start January 16, 2009. It's about damned time! I really hope writing and stories pick up. Season 3 and Season 4 had some clunkers for stories. The Cylons may have had a plan, but I'm not sure the writers did.

Speaking of the SciFi Channel, why is SciFi canceling Stargate: Atlantis? I believe they're having the best ratings ever or pretty close and SciFi decides to can the show.

How did a pathetic San Francisco 49ers team gain 195 yards of offense, score a measly 10 points, allow the Buffalo Bills 350 yards of offense, and STILL WIN THE GAME? San Fran 10: Buffalo 3!

I would like to thank LSU for choking in the back half of the season. Your losses assured I would get 3rd place in my pool. I'm still mad Ball State was taken the pick before mine! 12-0 would be so convenient for my pool right now.

Thanksgiving leftovers are already in the tupperware for tomorrow. Cheap and yummy leftovers are good for lunch. I hope I can stand them until Wednesday since I have plenty.

Here Be Ghosts Or Bigfoot.

One of the reasons I find Halloween to be the best time of the year: ghost tours. A dark moonlit night, a crisp and cool wind, a spooky Victorian era neighborhood, and a creepy dude in a trenchcoat as a tour guide. Oh yes, this would be so good!

I saw the blurb in the paper and quickly texted some friends. Luckily T and the Lady D could come. They were surprised such a neighborhood existed in Big City. You go around the suburbs and yes you get lots of vinyl villages, apartment complexes, and commercial corridors filled with strip malls and megamalls. This was a neighborhood with Victorians, Tudors, Arts & Crafts style homes with 2 or 3 story buildings housing pubs, coffeehouses not named BuckStars, non-chain style restaurants, non-chain bookstores, a Masonic temple, and a scooter store. Ciao baby! A quaint village only a few miles from downtown Big City, but in some ways a world away. Of course this village has a deep and dark side perfect for ghost stories.

The wind blew as the guide told of chess pieces that would move on a chessboard, before the coffeehouse opened up and the owner was by himself. A little cottage had cats disappearing into a drawer full of socks with no way for the drawers to open up by themselves. The same cottage supposedly had an evil force outside trying to get inside while the catnapping good spirit kept it at bay. Another house of a famous murderer supposedly would have smoke rings from a cigar appear out of nowhere. The murderer was noted for his fine cigars. One basement stairs would have the presence of a small cat rubbing against your leg, but don't reach done to pet the cat or you'll be shocked when you find nothing.

Wandering around the neighborhood with over 50 people I wondered if we would find any ghosts or at least Bigfoot. I told T and the Lady D we shouldn't mess with Sasquatch like those idiots in the beef jerky commercials. Some of the trees were very large and could hide something big. The highlight of the evening for most people was the tape recorder. The guide played a tape with a child's voice during a conversation with a homeowner. The homeowner had no children and the ghost that supposedly haunted this house was a child. People were surprised to hear the voice. The only problem I had was I never heard the voice.

I never heard any spooky voices. I never saw any spectres. I never saw any chess pieces move, and I never saw any random Bigfoot wandering around. Okay the tour never advertised Bigfoot, but hey you never know when you'll run into the big fella. I had a fun time. T and the Lady D had a fun time. They thanked me for inviting them. You're welcome. I love showing off the interesting sides of Big City. Even if they are the creepy and spooky sides of Big City.

Boo!

I Shouldn't Watch Certain Shows.

We're getting near Halloween and History Channel's Mosterquest is always a good creepy show. Between the Yeti show, the Bigfoot show, the Skunk Ape show, the Ohio Strawman show, the Bigfoot in New York show, and who knows how many other variations of Bigfoot there is, and it'll creep me out. I blame this fear of Bigfoot on the infamous episode of the Bionic Man vs. Bigfoot.

We're also getting all the shows about ghosts now too.

October is a good month to creep me out. The last thing I need to watch now would be a marathon run of Seasons 1 through 3 of The X-Files.

To my limited audience, is there anything that goes bump in the night that will creep you out?

I Hear Mulder And Scully Are On The Case.

Today we had, not one, but two paranormal news stories of infamous creatures.

1. Several people claim to have a Bigfoot body in Georgia (the state, not the place having a civil war with Russia). They're going to have a press conference on Friday to present their evidence. When I click on the link to see the pictures I'm wondering how do you stuff a Bigfoot into a freezer?

2. A sheriff's deputy in Texas has in-car video of the supposed chupacabra. After watching the video I don't see how it kills livestock and drinks their blood. Unless it's vampiric chupacabra and needs to put on the game face. Would that mean the even more mythical chupacabra slayer is out there? In every generation one is born correct?

Okay I've seen too many episodes of Monsterquest now.

Revelations

I'm staring at my roommate as he plays with his Wii. He LOVES that thing and plays with it every day. I've played with it twice. I'm watching be engrossed in the artificial world where he bowls, plays tennis, and putts for bogie. Suddenly it occurs to me what a Wii actually is.

It's a precursor to the holodeck!

To which my roomie replies, "Well duh!"

Weird And Creepy People.

Incident #1: Okay this is as much a reflection of how pathetic my social life is. It's Saturday night and to kill some time I'm at a bookstore reading magazines. I pick up some magazines and purchase my token root beer as an offering to the fine establishment for letting me kill a few hours with their inventory.

I see the subject in question. He's a white male, approximately 25-35 years old, and he has the odd circular head movement that combined with this huge grin and eyes popping out of his skill indicate to me that he is enjoying himself. The extreme outward enjoyment is odd to me and then I notice what he is reading: Short Hair. His entire stack of magazines are Vogue, YM, and other female teen/young lady oriented mags. The subject keeping going to that section of the magazine rack and pulls those type of magazines to his table where he obviously enjoys looking at them. I can't think of a reason why a guy would be reading those magazines, and I definitely can't think of why a man reading such magazines would be obviously enjoying himself to that extent. My conclusion was simple: pedophile.

I suspect I'll watch the news in a few years and see this guy's photo pop up with the caption, "Police Catch Suspected Pedophile In Internet Sting." If only I could somehow get his name or license plate so I can ask some police friends to run that information and prevent any future bad things I suspect this dork to do.

Oh how my life has become so suspicious and judgmental of other. On the other hand can anyone else explain this weird behavior?

Incident #2: The Fabulously Gay Roommate didn't come home last night. He often spends the weekends with his significant other. I knew FGR had to work today. He sometimes has the weekend shift. I figured he would spend the night at sig other's and just go to work from there. He had his overnight bag so why waste coming here to go to work. At 6:00 a.m. I hear something and wake up slightly. I only have about 15 to 20 neurons firing but I'm trying to wake up and think what is going on. Did FGR come home for some reason?

I see my bedroom door open and it is the sig other. Somehow I mumble, "hey" and sig other closes my bedroom door. In 0.3 seconds my brain finally fires up and I have the thought: Well that was odd. Why did he open up my bedroom door? Hold on, why did he OPEN MY BEDROOM DOOR!!! Am I wrong to think that a good social rule to follow, regardless of if you're male, female, straight, gay, bi, or a polka-dot lover, is: IF SOMEONE'S BEDROOM DOOR IS CLOSED YOU DON'T OPEN IT!

Traditionally you should knock on the door, asking if the individual is awake; therefore, awakening the individual. At that point the annoyed and groggy individual can say come in. The Supreme Court says we have the greatest expectation of privacy in the bedroom and I certainly want to claim that privilege! Even if the privacy is protecting the fact I'm asleep.

I admit this incident isn't the end of the world or something to have a shouting match over, but I find it quite annoying. Am I overreacting by being a bit perturbed?

Speaking of bed it is time for me to sleep. Good night all. I hope your bedroom door stays closed unless you want it want someone to come through it.

6-30-2008 Update:

Now I have an explanation for my roommate and sig other's odd behavior yesterday morning. Alcohol and way too much of it. It appears they were hammered from too much liquor. I don't know why I didn't think of booze before hand! To quote the roomie, "Jager, it seemed like a good idea at the time!"

It Is A Training Video On How To Act With Police.

The 21st Century American philosopher Chris Rock presents "How to not get your ass kicked by police." These are wise words people. Please watch from the privacy of your own home.

Put Captain Jack Harkness On The Case!

A Welsh police helicopter chased a "unusual aircraft" flying over the capital of Cardiff. The British tabloids exagerated the incident a bit, but it's obvious the police report never mentioned the phrase "UFO" for obvious reasons.

I'm not worried about it. Torchwood 3 is on the case by now!

We Sprung A Leak.

Clerk: They have the basement full of sandbags.

Me: What? I was just down there. What's going on?

Clerk: We're getting water from somewhere. Someone thought it was the air conditioning condenser.

Me: This building isn't that big. If a condenser is producing water it would be from the humidity in the air, not the a/c itself. Are we leaking from the flood?

BIG BOSS: Hey if you have any files downstairs you might want to get the upstairs. The pump isn't keeping up with the water. Oh yeah we're shutting off the a/c so just open up your windows if you want air.

Me (under my breathe): You've got to be kidding me.

*Goes downstairs to see what's going on.*

Clerk: You think it's okay to use the restroom?

Me: Nothing wrong with the water that I've heard. I wouldn't use the one down here though without a life jacket.

Philosophy Of The Day

Chuck Norris can dribble a football.

Unexpected Guests.

I opened my front door to reach my mailbox. A neighbor was walking his dog, a small chihuahua that would fit in my palm. The dog wasn't leased, ran up my sidewalk, and through my open door right next to me. I was shocked. I figured it would stop to investigate me. Nope, it wanted to go inside.

I heard the pitter patter of toenails on my floor. The dog did a lap and went out my open front door.

That was just plain weird.