Happy Birthday Chuck Norris.

Today is the 70th birthday of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is 70? No way! In typical Chuck Norris fashion I heard he roundhouse kicked his birthday into next year.

Star Trek Preview Review?

Umm..a review on the preview of the new Star Trek movie. Full of snark and reasons you should see it including the "Ka-Ching" rating. LOL

Army Of Darkness Explains So Much.

One friend of mine fails onto the Democrat side of the political spectrum. Our collective has a wide range of political views. Our collective is also full of smart asses. Combine those two traits with my friend and he came up with this little gem of political analysis. I don't care what your politics are you have to admit this is funny.

PS: If you haven't seen the Bruce Campbell classic Army Of Darkness you won't appreciate this as much.

John McCain (gesturing to the Bush administration): "You gotta believe me...I never even SAW these assholes before!"

Sarah Palin: "You found me beautiful once."
My Friend: "Honey, you got reeaal ugly."

The Dark Knight

Short Review: This movie is officially kickass. In fact is may be the first movie that is beyond kickass! At a bare minimum the kickass scale needs to be recalibrated.

Long Review: It's a shame some people will simply view this as a comic book movie. The Dark Knight is truly an exploration of the meaning of good and evil. It is an exploration of the questions: do the costs justify the results and are the ends worth the means? Can something good come out of something evil, or what some may say is evil? This movie takes you into the darkness and dares you to swim in it. Writer/Director Christopher Nolan has learned much from Shakespeare's tales.

Even at 2 hours, 30 minutes this movie doesn't feel long. It's very long on plot (overplotted even), but there aren't any slow spots. Don't drink anything for at least an hour before the movie so your bladder is empty. You're not going to get any potty breaks for this one. You see how what is good for Batman is bad for Bruce Wayne. You see the burdens his assistance must bear on Batman's quest for justice.

You get most of the same top notch cast as in Batman Begins. If anything Maggie Gyallenhall as the love interest Rachel Dawes is a vast improvement of the dooey eyed and way too young for the part Katie Holmes. I've never seen Maggie Gyallenhall in anything before, but she worked this meatier role well. Heath Ledger as the Joker deserves all the buzz. This Joker is the most amoral, roving agent of chaos ever seen. Oscar-worthy? We'll never know since the Academy ignores comic-book movies except for technical categories like Sound Editing or such. This Joker doesn't have plans. He simply loves to destroy other's plans because he can. This Joker loves to show others that evil is within all of us, or at least everyone will ignore their rules if the right circumstance appears. Does that count as evil?

The Dark Knight will make you think a bit if you're willing to absorb its ideas. If you walk out of the theater vaguly disturbed the movie did its job. This movie is so kickass I may go see it again. I may even pay for an IMAX experience.

After the movie can you answer this question: would you have pushed the button knowing another button was out there?

"Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...and so we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...a dark knight."

Quantum Of Solace

Weird title, but the next James Bond film looks very promising if the trailer is any indication!

*Edited for the right title! Whoops my mind saw a completely different word. Now the title makes a little more sense.

IronMan vs. Indiana Jones

IronMan: I give it an 8.

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull: I give it a 6.

I don't think Indiana Jones was a bad movie. It just wasn't an Indiana Jones movie.

I Can't Wait For Dr. Jones To Come Back.

T-minus 3 days until the new Indiana Jones movie. I'm so stoked! I am so stoked that I'm afraid the movie won't measure up to my expectations. I grew up with these movies. I've waited 19 years for this comeback. Between Indiana Jones and Batman The Dark Knight I don't really care about any other movies this summer.

PS: I hope this comeback is a wee bit better than the Die Hard comeback last year.

PPS: Indian Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull is too long a title. Indiana Jones and The Crystal Skull would work so much better.

PPPS: Thanks to janiejane for the reminder! How could I have forgotten about The X-Files sequel as well? I hate to say this since I loved early X-Files, but I've only seen the movie once. It didn't make that huge an impression on me. On the other hand anthing that gets David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson on the big screen I'm all for.

Movie Review: The Simpsons Movie

The problem with many movies made from a TV show is they don't scale up well to movie sized plots and times. A half hour comedy is only 21 minutes once you get rid of the commercials. That and after 16 seasons The Simpsons is well past it's prime. Seasons 4, 5, and 6 are generally regarded as the high watermark of the series.

Oh dear was it disappointing. They had some funny stuff and a couple of good jokes. Just not enough of them. After the movie I felt like it would have been funnier if they condensed into a 21 minute episode. It's a shame to watch The Simpsons now. It's only a shadow of itself. You don't want to see the things you used to enjoy go, but sometimes you have to know when to say goodbye. Perhaps the time has come for Fox to finally let go of the classic.