Tomorrow Indeed.

Macbeth:
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Quotes For The Best Laid Plans.

Quote #1:
Judge: Mr. Hart, why are we here today?

Me: Well your honor, for once one of my plans worked!

Judge: Feels good doesn't it?

Quote #2 (later that day)
Judge: Mr. Hart, what is the status of this case?

Me: Your honor it's like a sine wave, started up, then went down, but now we're back up.

Quote #3 (also later that day)
After hearing some unexpected testimony, being somewhat pleasantly surprised, and glancing down at the notes my boss left me concerning this case.

Judge: Mr. Hart, what do you want to do?

Me *glances at the written notes again*: Your honor I'm going to overrule my boss and ...

Quote #4 (yes this was even later in the day)
Judge: Mr. Hart, who do you want next?

Me: I'm just going with whoever's file is at the top of this pile.

If Nothing We Do Matters, Then All That Matters Is What We Do.

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

- Theodore Roosevelt

Sometimes There Isn't A Point.

Clerk: How as your hearing in Other Small Town?

Me: That was 3 hours of my life I'm not getting back.

Clerk: At least you'll be reimbursed for mileage.

Friday Quotes

"I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, I require the same from them."

John Wayne in The Shootist.

Quote Of The Day.

"I prefer the company of a good dog over most human beings."

I don't blame you.

It Never Occurs To People To Be Smart

*In the middle of an interview.*

Me: Okay, so you decided that it was best your mother take care of your child. You were getting back on your feet. I get that. When did you give your mother the child?

Woman: I guess it was spring in 2006.

Me: Did it ever occurs to you to tell someone that you no longer had the child living with you?

Woman: *quizzical look as if this thought has only now occurred to her.*

Me: Haven't you received some welfare benefits since then?

Woman: Sometimes I'm on welfare and sometimes I'm not. It's hard to keep track.

Me: Are you aware the welfare office still have the child listed as living with you and not your mother?

Woman: No, why does that matter?

Me: I'm pretty sure part of your welfare benefits are related to how many children you have living with you at the time. With the extra child you get extra benefits.

Woman: Oh. Is that wrong?

*I bang head on the table at this point.*

I Guess I Can't Fake It Anymore.

Quote #1:

Fellow Club Member: Wow Wolfrham, you look exhausted!

Me: Is it really that noticeable?

Quote #2:
Clerk: I don't know how these files are getting legs and walking out of here. I can't do my job when I can't find the damn file.

Me: I can't do my job when I keep helping you look for the damn file either.

This Makes So Much Sense For The Cubs

I'm not even a baseball fan. Yet if you're familiar with the Chicago Cubs, their history, their fans, their culture, their very frickin' obnoxious yuppie fashionable fans, then this will make sense. So I'll share this with you:

As I was explaining to my neighbor Joe, the beauty of this postseason defeat for the Cubs is that for Cubs fans it ruins next season as well. While they were swept in last year's playoffs, they weren't expected to do much in the post season. This year, they were the team to beat, at least in the NL. Now, even if they win the division going away next year, everyone will be worried about yet another postseason debacle. Cubs fans won't be able to enjoy the regular season success of next year until it is validated by post season success. In other words, the Cubs have already ruined 2009, and the 2008 WorldSeries hasn't even started yet.

A complete thing of beauty.

Tell Me How You Really Feel.

This $700 BILLION bailout package of Wall Street isn't very popular. Everyone has an opinion on the subject. The fact the vote failed and the Dow Jones went down 777 points (is that 111 points better than expected) elicits various responses.

A wee bit blunt, but I kinda agree with my friend. I'm such a sick, sick boy.

Quote One:
"Whoo-hoo! I want to see suits diving out of skyscrapers before Congress says boo with MY money. More billionaires need to become paupers before we as a whole pony up $700 billion."

Quote Of The Day.

Clerk: What is wrong with this week? We go from one crazy thing to another every day!

Me: It's like a week filled with all Mondays.


Quote Number 2:
*The note says to call at my earliest convenience.*

Me: I'm sorry I wasn't able to get back with you. Your note said to call at my earliest convenience and there was nothing convenient about today."

We Need More Mr. Chapels In The World.

I'm at GeekFest for a few hours. I'm finding all sorts of interesting items. I get into one stall and see some interesting DVDs. One package had a personal fav of mine: Vengeance Unlimited. If you don't recall the series I don't blame you. It was a 1998 fan favorite for one season. Too bad more fans preferred Friends in that time slot. If you're familiar with The Equalizer it's the same basic idea. Michael Madsen is Mr. Chapel: a street smart righter of wrongs. If the legal system has screwed you over, don't worry because Mr. Chapel is on the case and will fix the problem. The characters, the writing, the story ideas, the haunting piano in the credits, the background soundtrack, were awesome.

Of course because I loved the show it disappeared after one season.

I plop the DVD into the player and notice the menu is very plain. When I hit play the sound quality isn't good. You hear that old static that truly plagued video tapes all the time when the quality wasn't good. The I notice the station identifying bug in the lower right corner. Channel 5???? OMG this is some friggin' bootleg copy and not an actual studio release. I paid $35 for this! At least the commercials weren't recorded as well.

I'm disappointed by the mediocre quality and the fact the studio will likely never put out an official edition of Vegeance Unlimited. I'm disappointed by the fact I paid $35 for this. On the plus side I've already gone through the first 4 episodes and am still amazed the show is as good now as it was in my memories.

If a one season wonder like Firefly can be made into a well loved, seldom seen movie, why not Vengeance Unlimited?

"Every day when I wake up I try to imagine the kind of world I want to live in. I can actually picture it in my mind. It wouldn't be a paradise. There would still be traffic jams, and bad coffee, and award shows. But I tell you what there wouldn't be, nobody like you. The rich, arrogant, lying, selfish. Not one single one of you left on the face of the earth.

I don't just sit around dreaming about this. I work at it, I work very hard every day to make it real. In fact, I'm about 3 seconds away from making it happen."

-Mr. Chapel
Vengeance Unlimited

Quote Of The Day.

Concerning the fact former presidential candidate John Edwards admits to sleeping with a photographer as his wife is dying of cancer.

Fabulously Gay Roommate: I'm tired of these holier than thou politicians who preach family values. All the Democrats cheat on their wives, and all the Republicans end up being homosexuals.

I'm not sure which is better: the quote or who said it!

Luckily This Wasn't One Of Mine.

*Sitting in the jury room waiting for the prior hearing to finish.*

Texan: I was appointed to this one freak and man was he weird.

Me: There are a lot of weird things around here. What made this guy so special?

Texan: He had a lot of quirks. One Thanksgiving he went into the restroom and the family heard glass breaking and he was screaming.

Me: *raises eyebrow at this point*

Texan: They rushed him to the hospital and the doctors removed a broken peanut butter jar out of his ass.

Me: What was this moran thinking? I'm trying to think at what point shoving a peanut butter jar up your butt seems like a good idea.

It's things like this that reinforce why I hate people.

How I Feel Every Morning.

Max: Rise and shine, Professor.
Professor Fate: You rise! You shine!

-The Great Race

Quote Of The Day.

I finally figured out what a lot of these people need here. The Chuck Norris Roundhous Kick Of Justice! (tm)

Misfire.

*Setting off my finale shots for the 4th of July. Upon watching the first shot go horizontally along the ground into some brush and exploding*

The Crowd: Uh-oh!

ME: Oh that's not right. I hope the other 24 shots go up.


Analysis: sometimes I wonder about my underwhelming style. In the face of danger I guess it's better to be underwhelmed and rational versus panicked. I hope so anyway. Oh, the other 24 shots did rocket up and explode. It was a cool finale.

My Philosophy Of Life, The Job, And Likely Everything Else.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. "
Agent K to Agent J
Men In Black

If I could explain how my day was a true reflection of that quote I would. Right now I'm going to collapse into bed.

Quote Of The Day.

Me: I'm trying to reduce the amount of caffeine in my life. I had the morning cup of coffee and the driving cup of coffee, but I haven't had any since then.

Fabulously Gay Roommate: That might be a good thing. How is it working out for you?

Me: I was doing okay until 3:14 when I shot a disgruntled postal worker.

Quote Of The Day II.

Friend: Yeah I was surprised my little brother was sometimes in charge of the nuclear weapons aboard the ship. They had a 4 to 6 month supply and I guess the only major difference was a few extra pieces of paper.

Me: Hold on! What exactly constitutes a 4 to 6 month supply of NUCLEAR weapons?