So It Has Been Awhile I See.

Once upon a time I was a very prolific blogger. Seems that time passed long ago. Part of the reason is I'm so damned busy these days, at least when it comes to work. Small Town is still my daily life even though I can't stand the job and the commute. Another reason I don't want to blog is I don't want ALL of my writing to be of the "this just plain sucks" variety. I like to think I'm not a completely negative person.

Yet quite a bit has occurred since I last posted here. I was dating someone for a bit. Sounds good, right? It was, until she dumped me. Turns out you can't work a busy job, take classes for an MBA, be at everyone's beck and call, and date me at the same time! Hell, we've gone through an entire NFL post season since I've last posted here.

I should post here more often. Sure FaceBook offers some quick relief to share my thoughts, but a blog has so many advantages if you're willing to invest the time. I need to write to sort out some of my thoughts. So many things confuse me now and I hate being confused.

I have a weird thing coming up soon. I'll need to write about that just so I can use my posts as a script idea as it'll be that weird! Until the next time folks.

Does Anyone Ever Read What Is On The Page?

A copy of an order was on my desk. It had a sticky note on it from Pushy Clerk.

Pushy Clerk: "Wolfrham, why is blah, blah, blah?"

Okay the blah blah blah is just a shortcut.

I look at the order quickly and put another sticky note underneath Pushy Clerk's.

Wolfrham Hart: "If you want a useful answer you'll need to ask the attorney who actually attended the hearing and wrote this order."

I suspect Pushy Clerk rolled her eyes and thought nasty thoughts about me when she read my reply. I know Pushy Clerk doesn't respect me and my abilities as an attorney, but Pushy Clerk needs to double check some of her own stuff before shooting from the hip at me.

Everyone Just STOP!!!!

The problem with my staff is they're used to traveling at warp speed. Problems pop up and they have to solve them on the fly. Often, this is a good trait to have. Sometimes they forget not all problems are a 10 minute problem.

A case got screwed up a lot on Thursday or so we thought. It couldn't be fixed Thursday because the boss and I were in hearings the entire day. Little bits of the story came out on Friday, but I couldn't answer any of their questions yet. I told them I needed to review the file to see what documents were in it and what those documents said. I also wanted to review some of the trial rules the judge mentioned and certain aspects of the statute we were operating under. Once I knew exactly what we had I could try to figure out what we needed to do. It didn't help that it was really 3 issues that were slightly comingled.

Unfortunately, Friday had many fires that needed to be put out and my hearing had two 30 minute continuances to allow other attorneys to attend other hearings and let the court have other hearings. I never had a chance to review anything on Friday. Fine, let the boss and I figure out something on Monday.

Yesterday I come in and on my to-do list is resolves this damn file from last Thursday. However, between my various hearings it seems the staff was talking to the boss and the boss was sometimes talking to the judge. No one ever got everyone together, including me, to just figure out all the issues. So staff is trying to figure out if documents are missing or are our procedures wrong, how to get a motion reconsidered, and other problems. So they got worked up in a frenzy because they thought they were being blamed for the problems. Sometimes I'm diplomatic and sometimes I'm blunt.

ME: Look if I were blaming you for this situation I would telling you outright you did this wrong and blame you! All I'm saying is the judge couldn't find this document in the court file, but that's not saying the document wasn't in there.
STAFF #1: But we send the court a copy of all those documents as part of the file.
ME: I know that's our procedure and I don't doubt you did send the court that packet of docs.
STAFF #3: Then how come they're missing from the file?
ME: I didn't say they were missing. I'm just saying the judge ruffled the pages for 15-20 seconds and didn't find that order.
STAFF #2: There's only the orders, the summons, the petitions, and referenced paperwork in the file. Should be easy to find.
ME: *Holds up the entire file in my hand* You're telling me you could find a specific piece of paper in this 50 page stapled together and papercliped pile in less than 20 seconds?
STAFF #3: But we send all that to the court so it's supposed to be in their file.
ME: *starting to raise voice in frustration* I'm not saying the order wasn't in there! The judge just couldn't find it before I did in a minute!

That went on for about 20 minutes. It didn't help that they wanted to comingle 3 different issues. I wanted to come up with a plan for Issue #1, but they wanted to bring in Issues #2 and #3. "Can we just solve one problem first BEFORE we try to figure out the other problems please?"

I only worked on four things Monday. Everything was interrupted by something else in that four item rotation. By the end of the day I was no closer to solving any of the four problems as I was at the beginning of the day. I damn near yelled at them to stop bothering me with the problems so I could actually solve one or two of them!

Today started out the same way The boss and I were looking at parts of the same statute to see if we had different opinions. We both found commentary concerning the statute and I managed to grab the file back from staff so I could review it. A complicated statute with a complicated fact pattern belongs on an exam, not in the 10 minute pile. It took both of us the entire morning to review the items we had. The boss and I wanted to compare notes after lunch but something came up. What little notes we did compare seemed to say the same things.

The judge was probably right to deny this one motion, but did it for the wrong reasons. The odds were high we didn't have the ability to do what was in our motion in the first place given the facts and procedural history of the case. In the future it would be a very good idea to have one of the attorneys review the file first before making such motions. Depending on the facts we can do it or maybe not. The way we treated cases like this before was probably incorrect under the statute.

The boss and I will fully compare notes for about 30 minutes tomorrow. We'll need to update staff on our findings and make suggestions on updating certain procedures I suspect. I just wish everyone would have shut up for a bit and slowed down. If they had just let the lawyers investigate things and discuss some observations with the judge we probably would have the problem resolved earlier. The fact everyone wanted an answer quickly actually slowed down the process of solving the problem! Drop out of warp speed people! Sometimes you need to take the slow route to get the problem fixed right.

How Do You Not Drink Or Do Drugs?

A friend of mine asked me that the other night. She simply looked at me in amazement as I described yet another insane story from my job in Small Town. My simple reply: I honestly don't know!

The insanity of last week seeped through the weekend to survive today. It was a Monday and it felt like one. I got home not too long ago. I think I'll go to bed and pray that with the judges at a seminar for the next 3 days I might get some things I want to work on accomplished.

I hope so, I'm tired of burning the candle on 3 ends.

If I Ever Get To Call In The Chips The Boss Is Screwed.

Me: pulled all of today's files last night, prepped them all and made photocopies of exhibits to hand out to lawyers and pro-se litigants. Left the office at 7 p.m., but was mostly, though not completely, ready for today. Arrived at work at 7:55 a.m. this morning.

Boss: Left work around 4:30ish. Walked in through the front door with me this morning. Scrambled to pull files this morning and prep them for the hearings after my initial round of hearings. Boss was highly agitated at having to wing some things. Worked through lunch and still hadn't prepped all the files for this afternoon. Asked me to handle 2 hearings of his that started after lunch.

I did his two files, then mine, and at that point he brought everything else down for the rest of the afternoon. If it wasn't for the judge wanting to move through all the hearings I wish I could have told the boss, "Not my fault you didn't get ready for this busy day!"

Where I got frantic was when I had to cover the Boss I suddenly didn't have time to do the last minute things that needed to be done. Suddenly the laziness of my boss was interfering with what I needed to do!

As the court bailiff noted, my part of the day went smoothly, other parts weren't as smooth.

ZZZZZZZZZ

This is getting to be a weekly occurrence. I get home from work and just lay on the bed for a few minutes to relax. The next thing I know I've been asleep for around 4 hours. Eh I didn't need dinner anyway.

I think I'll go back to bed now. I hope I can fall asleep for the rest of the night.

Respect My Authority!

The crazies were out today. A 3 day weekend allows the crazies to save up their craziness an extra day. My boss is on vacation so I'm in charge. What this really means is anything weird gets sent to me immediately.

Pushy Clerk left a file in my chair just before lunch. I got back from a hearing and looked at it for a minute. I read the note, then I started to go through the file to see if I could find a solution. It took a few minutes to find what I wanted, but it was there. Then I pondered a minute and decided what strategy I wanted to employ. Part One was the short term solution, Part Two was the long term solution. I came about my strategy because I knew what I could do without a judge getting involved and I knew what would require a hearing and a judicial blessing. I also pondered an Evil Strategy, but I knew I would need to review the file a bit and find a few more facts to see if Evil Strategy was an option.

I left a note on the file and put it into Pushy Clerk's box. Pushy Clerk decided my strategy wasn't what she wanted to do. Why did I want to do it that way? Couldn't I do it the way she suggested. Ummm...no, I needed something that was well outside the scope of her suggestion. Also I didn't write the prior order so I didn't have the power to correct it. I tried to explain that, but she didn't see it that way. How I didn't finally say, "Will you do it the way I requested because I'm your boss!" I'll never know.

While I value the input of my staff I'm getting tired of Pushy Clerk always thinking she knows better than I. I'm tired of fighting Pushy Clerk on so many things. I've almost blurted out she should just go to law school for 3 or 4 years, then pass the bar exam. Once Pushy Clerk is sworn in she can deal with the case any way she sees fit!

Time Is A Luxury You Don't Have.

Second night in a row I've pulled off a 11-plus hour day. Why am I barely getting anything accomplished by staying late? If I got more done I would be okay with the price I'm paying in time and exhaustion. Yet, so far the deal isn't working.

It would be nice is something worked better during the day, but today had so much wasted time where I'm waiting on someone else. Or I'm called to put out a fire when I expected some downtime. I swear if we ever get laptops I'll be all over that. Use the laptop while I'm stuck in the hallway or waiting for my hearing to start.

Oh well. I better just put more effort into the job hunt. Greener pastures must be elsewhere.

You Have The Right To STFU!

Today was a miserable day on so many levels. So much did not work. People lied, people didn't bring materials they were supposed to, people didn't provide documentation to me 2 months ago like they should have, people didn't bother to communicate with me months ago and now though I would solve the problem, etc. etc.

The idiot showed up an hour late. The judge already ordered a bench warrant for his failure to appear, but will usually hold off on that if someone shows up within 24 hours. I knew nothing could be accomplished without the other party who had left earlier. I figured a 10 minute talking to would make an impression on the idiot. I was so wrong.

The idiot just kept talking, interrupting the judge, offering weak answers, and was just plain rude. So the judge decided it was direct contempt and worth 10 days in jail. Normally idiots shut up at this point; however, this one was special. Since he wouldn't shut up and kept interrupting the judge it was decided 20 days was proper. As security walked the handcuffed idiot out of the courtroom he said something so incredibly stupid I couldn't believe it. I don't know if the microphones picked it up and put it on the record, but the judge heard the comment too. Sir, you've now graduated to 180 days as a guest to the taxpayer simply because you couldn't keep your big mouth shut.

At least I know where to find him now for the next 6 months.

A Case Of Mistaken Identity?

*Pushy Clerk comes into my office and shoves an order into my face.*

Pushy Clerk: Wolfrham, what's wrong with this case? *Stated in a tone that implies I've done something wrong again in Pushy Clerk's opinion.*

*I'm totally clueless, don't have a file in front of me, and simply read the order. It lists all the attorneys who attended the hearing and there were several. However, my name isn't listed as a participant.*

Me: I don't know Pushy Clerk, but why don't you ask someone who actually attended the hearing?


I admit I do thing incorrectly sometimes or later realize I should have done something in a different way. However I'm tired of Pushy Clerk's know-it-all attitude. I think it is time for Pushy Clerk to go to law school, pass the bar exam, and do my job better than I can. Only then will Pushy Clerk work with someone that meets her standards.

40 Under 40.

I admit it. I'm tired of all these 40 Under 40 lists. Whenever I see one, especially when a classmate or schoolmate is in one I wonder: what am I doing wrong? I hate being jealous, but I also hate not being as good as I want to be or being recognized for all the things I do accomplish. I accomplish the dirty jobs. No one ever seems to care about the dirty jobs but they need to be done. I'm a person who does things. I just wish I did a little more.

Be Careful What You Wish For.

The staff came to me with a problem. It seems various people had been doing things without our office. Not only that, they hired their own lawyers to fix their problems. However, those lawyers never contacted our office to see if there were some issues. So it is a few years after they thought they solved their problems. Nope, those idiots were wrong! Not only that, but the idiots wanted our office to solve the problem. Oh, I'm sorry as soon as a problem affects you, now you want to talk to us. Give me a break!

I resent the fact our office has to clean up the mess others create. However, we had a brainstorming session. The idiots want me to resolve the problem. I decided we should solve it, but I'm going to do it my way and not the way they wanted. Not only that after a few minutes we realized the expected answers were not at all like they expected.

I'm going to give these idiots exactly what they asked for. They're not going to like it.

Happiness Is The Simple Things.

Okay, sometimes happiness is visiting the parents after work and taking a nap with DogHound. It was one of those days where it wasn't worth getting out of bed. I think DogHound agreed.

Would This Qualify As Stare Decisis?

This judge never minces words. "Well sir the problem is you're an asshole!" I have no idea how my jaw didn't drop when the judge said that. The guy looked at the judge and agreed. I did raise an eyebrow on that one. I had to ponder. Since it was on the record the guy was an asshole does that set precedence? Would it ever be noted in a hearing in April 2010, that so and so was an asshole? I guess it would only matter if another court needed to determine the issue.

Sometimes there is humor in my day.

Small First Steps.

I'm sure if I got home at a decent time I would have this task finished by now. Instead I'm about halfway through the task. I'm updating my resume. It should have been done a long time ago, but I've finally reached my threshold.

It is officially time to start looking for a new job.

I'm sure the job market sucks. The type of positions I'm most interested in I hear nothing but bad news about in the papers, TV, and web. I refuse to jump ship to just anything else out there. Yet I can't stand the inequity of my current job.

I can't stand the fact I have twice as many hearings as my boss. I can't stand that I put twice as much into the file before a hearing because I figure I should be professional and try to account for the most likely scenarios and questions I'll encounter at a hearing. I can't stand that I put in twice as much after a hearing before giving the file back to a clerk instead of just dumping the file into the clerks' laps. I can't stand the never ending combat with these cases. We can't fix them. We can't solve the problems. We can't make people better than what they are, and these people can't fix a thing in their lives. We can't finish a case.

I can't stand the hour long commute. I put on over 26,000 miles on my car last year. I can't stand the long hours on the job, the long hours on the road, the too few hours of sleep and the scant few hours remaining in the day. I'm tired of every Saturday wondering if I should go into the office and the Saturdays I do go down wondering why the network is only available until noon.

It may be a day or two before I get back to my resume. It might be the weekend before I start paying the legal websites to get access to any open positions listed. It might be awhile before I find a good ad to respond to. It might be awhile before my life changes, but change it must.

Toying With My Prey.

He's a clueless moron. At the last hearing the judge ripped into him like polar bear. Deservedly so I might add. He's a moron that fails to realize his actions have consequences. The judge told him what conditions the moron must follow to be in the judge's good graces. I wrote that order of course and I try to use simple every day language. I even broke down the judge's conditions using the numbers 1, 2, and 3. Nothing was unreasonable or difficult to do either. We knew he had a problem with employment and money so the third condition was if you work at all that week pay something towards the obligations you owe. Even if the moron only paid $5 - $10, we could have worked with that. The second condition was if you get or lose a job just let your attorney or me know in a timely fashion. Neither of those sound unreasonable or difficult to do, right?

Over the past few months I had a few email exchanges with the moron's attorney. We could tell the moron was having trouble following the simple directions. I noted if the moron wouldn't correct the problem soon I would press the issue with the judge at the next hearing. When I prepped the file for today's hearing I discovered the attorney had withdraw. The excuse was the moron wasn't fulfilling his end of the bargain in a nutshell.

The moron walked in today. I knew I would finally have fun and hopefully make a point to this dumbass.

Me: Okay did let me or your lawyer know you had a job?
Moron: Yeah I got around to telling the lawyer I had that I was working.
Me: When did you start working?
Moron: November.
Me: November? I don't see any money till just before Christmas. Did you get paid in November and early December at all?
Moron: Yeah I signed a sheet saying it was okay to garnish my pay.
Me: So did you pay anything once you started working?
Moron: I signed the sheet saying it was okay to start garnishing my pay.
Me: No I understand you signed a paper to start the garnishment. My question is when you saw your first couple of paychecks, you saw taxes were taken out right?
Moron: Yea.
Me: And you saw that FICA was taken out for Social Security right?
Moron: Yeah they always do that right?
Me: And you noticed there wasn't any garnishment right?
Moron: Well I signed a sheet after that saying it was okay to garnish my pay.
Me: No I understand you signed the sheet. What I'm asking is you saw the garnishment didn't come out for at least a month right? Did you pay anything at all until the garnishment?
Moron: No.
Me: Do you remember what the judge said at the last hearing?
Moron: No that was a long time ago.
Me: When you got the order in the mail, did you read the part saying if you worked at all to pay something? And if you lost your job you had to tell your lawyer or me?

The judge ripped into the moron again and sent him to jail for contempt of the court. All too easy!

Our Proper Mission Statement.

We fail to do the impossible with minimal resources.

I'm Going To Need So Many Furry Kisses Tomorrow.

This week has been hell at work. Seriously I can think of no other way to describe it. I've stayed until 6:30 p.m. twice to get ready for the next day, tonight I stayed until 6:00 p.m.. Tuesday was my early night by getting out at 5:00 p.m., by going through 30 hearings in 3 hours. What...the...hell! For the last two and a half weeks I've been dealing with either a continuous flow of hearings or needing to prep all those files for the continuous flow of hearings.

Tomorrow will be a constant flow of courtrooms. In addition to my stuff I'll have to cover some of my boss's hearings as well. When he scheduled his pretrial conferences there wasn't anything on the calendar then, but now there is. I'm sorry but when I schedule my pretrials I only schedule two in a morning, max! I do it so that I can go to some hearings if required. The boss will schedule 4 in a morning and 2 in the afternoon just so he can be finished with all pretrials in one day. I think he's nuts.

I'll be honest I'm getting resentful of having to cover for him all the damned time. I already do the work of two attornies because we're just that busy and Small Town will never hire someone to help us out. Yet I do the work of more than two attornies because I have to double check that my boss is ready for what we know about and quickly spring into action when something goes wrong and he isn't available. This morning was a perfect example. I had a 15 minute break where I wanted to type a motion I needed for tomorrow. A court calls and wonders were someone from our office is. We had hearing then? Really? When the hell did that pop onto the calendar? It wasn't even my file, but after scrounging around for the file I prepped it in about 5 minutes. I could have prepped it in 2 minutes, but the staff kept asking me what was going on. Okay I know people are trying to be helpful, but after I explain the problem once please leave me alone so I don't type in the same incorrect information four times because people keep distracting me. It isn't a good sign when I ask all the parties why are we here today.

At least tomorrow I'll visit my parents. The elderly DogHound had a decent week according to them. I shall place DogHound on my lap, explain how horrible my week was, and let his brown eyes express how much he wants me to pet him. If DogHound is feeling somewhat energetic he may even kiss me. I'm very happy DogHound has lasted this long. I'm really going to need him tomorrow just to feel human again.

I'm Going To Win This One!

One of the courts sent a note down stating I was to provide the written order from an October hearing. Oh crap, did I miss one? It happens every now and then. We have so much volume we sometimes haven't written the order yet, or the file gets into one of the clerks' hands and they forget to bring the file back.

I find the file and open it. Underneath a few pieces of paper is the written order that I typed up the day of the hearing. The judge's signature is dated 9 days later.

I'm already insanely busy and backed up with orders to write. I don't need to deal with a forgetful court as well!

Spring Is In The Air.

I couldn't take it anymore. The sun was out, the temperature the warmest since before Thanksgiving, and my window will open. I opened up the window in my office! Sure the temps were barely over 50, but that feels very warm compared to the winter we've had.

Fresh almost springtime air wafted into my office window. Along with the cigarette smoke from the judge by the steps. I've forgotten how far that odor will waft.

I swear nothing totally good ever occurs at work.