Sunday, November 29, 2009

Easy Come Easy Go.

Between a AutoZone, a grocery store, and all the bills that need to be paid by the 10th of the month my paycheck is already gone. Normally I try to put 10% of my paycheck into my savings account, but I decided to hold off on that this time. On top of that the Fabulously Gay Ex Roommate came by to pick up some more stuff finally. Of course he used to take care of the cable bill and now that is my responsibility. He noted the bill is due by Tuesday. Tuesday! It just came in the mail last Tuesday.

The last few months I've been using the rental checks as money to go into my savings account only. I didn't want to life off of FGR's money because I knew it was going away. While my bills seemed to be okay I have this gut feeling that something may be wrong. I decided to put my finances into a spreadsheet and get a feel for where my money is going. I only have November and half of October done, but once I put in more of this year I wonder if I'm not going to like the answers. Perhaps I can get rid of cable again.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

How To Survive Black Friday.

For those who are about to go into retail battle for your cheap deals may I suggest a good strategy to get through the day.

A-M-A-Z-O-N-DOT-C-O-M

I avoid the malls, the people, the insanity, and it gets delivered to me usually for free. That's Christmas shopping I can get into!

Things To Be Thankful For.

As pessimistic and jaded as I am I do feel the need to be thoughtful on occasion. I must remind myself that things could be far far worse!

1. I do have a job in the legal field that pays my bills. Sure I don't like the job, the commute, the clientele, but I recall being unemployed around 2 years ago and wondering how was I going to survive and how was I going to make use of this shiny, but apparently useless degree I had. What am I thankful for, I'm now at a place where I can start planning for the next stage of my career and I have the luxury of time.

2. I have a family that loves and supports me. I may not relate to them very much but we do tend to help each other. Without their support throughout my life and especially through these past few years I would be in a far worse situation than I am now.

3. Doghound! It is obvious Doghound is in the final fall and winter of his life and is unlikely to make it to the next sunny spring day. So every time I find Doghound at my parents' home I make sure I pet him and play with him. No matter how bad a day I've had if I put Doghound in my lap and just pet him I will feel much better. I'm thankful for the fact Doghound makes me feel better so I better enjoy him for the time we have left together.

4. Thanks to the internet and eHarChemtach.com I'm dating again. Sure there are dates with no chemistry or only one of use feels something or I never want to see her again and she's still stalking me, but hey at least I'm in the market for female companionship. While I keep debating if I should hold off on dating again until I have a job with less of a commute so I have more free time at least I can write a food and coffee shop guide to Big City now.

5. The Internet. It provides me with information about things I like and the ability to describe the insaneness of humanity. While I'm not perfect I'm thankful for the fact I'm not as crazy, stupid, or useless as those people! Thanks to the internet I get to maintain my sanity.

I'm sure other people have more selfless and altruistic things to be thankful for. Eh I'll take what I can get. Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Logic Of Life.

Okay Small Town HR says I have to use my vacation time before the end of the year or else I'll lose it. So I need to find a day here and there before the end of the year to suck up what little vacation time I have accrued. We already have Thanksgiving and Friday off. There are no hearings scheduled for Wednesday. Hey why not take this Wednesday off and get a 5 day weekend?

I could get so much done in my real life by taking a day off. I can get to all the places I need to get to, but can't due to being at work. Cool!

So I'll be going into the office on Friday and possibly Saturday. Why? Without clerks, hearings, phone calls, people wondering in, and the normal chaos I can get more work done in 4 hours this Friday than I get accomplished in 3 or 4 days. I have several piles of files in my office the courts expect to be resolved. We're far too overworked and understaffed. To get anything accomplished means I put in far more hours than I want to put in.

Take a vacation day to not be in the office and go into the office on a day I already have off. Makes perfect sense right?

Maybe one day I'll have a job where I can take 5 days off and actually enjoy them.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I Dont Know, Can We Stipulate To Contempt?

If you lay the factual basis out, then yes contempt can be agreed to by all parties. If only more of my opponents were like that.

This idiot could have helped himself out in so many ways, but instead his levels of motivation and common sense were very low. I seriously can't understand the stupidity of some people. Oh well.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Single (At Home) At Last!

The Fabulously Gay Roommate bought a house. He and his significant other are going to live there. Saturday was the big move out day. If you're helping someone move it is never easy and yesterday proved to be no different. FGR and I have many mutual friends from school. Sadly all of them were unavailable for the move. That meant most all of the other people helping with the move were FGR's friends that he met when was exploring and understanding his sexuality aka the gay friends.

There were mechanics, IT managers, artists, nurses, and just ordinary people regardless of their sexual orientation. For purposes of a move they just need to be able to lift and carry heavy objects. For this, the gay friends failed miserably. Except for the one friend who wasn't overtly flaming, the rest all had bad backs, bulging disks, strained back muscles, needed a cigarette every 20 minutes, had the ability to snip and gossip worse than a 8th grade cheerleader and whatever it took to be friggin' useless for a moving day. Except for the one guy, the rest of them couldn't lift anything heavy. Oh yeah, even my roommate was having muscle problems too.

This was going to suck for me in so many ways.

I arrived a bit late at the storage facility that held all of the Sig Other's stuff and I knew things weren't going well. For whatever reason, whenever there is a group of people over a certain size no one can make a decision. It's called diffusion of responsibility. Combined with the fact the FGR is notorious for being incapable of making decisions this is a bad double whammy. Towards the end I asked him if I should get my truck to put in the last of the big bulky items. I quickly realized I needed to simply get my truck and put the last few chairs and end tables in the bed. I was proven right as some things weren't going to fit in the U-Haul.

At FGR's new house the bad back brigade was nearly useless. I'm shoving stuff out of the truck or the other guy was and I was placing the items in the lawn or on the porch. Time was limited and I figured everyone else could carry stuff from the lawn to inside the house. FGR wanted to put stuff in the right room. He's nuts! He's not sure where he'll want half that stuff. Just get it inside and you'll deal with it later. I felt the need to harm someone as the bad back brigade went on a cigarette break...all the time. I think they smoked and gossiped more than they moved boxes!

All that labor, totally useless to the task.

They weren't much better when they came to my place to get FGR's stuff. Luckily he didn't have as much crap as his Sig Other. Seriously, they need a few trips to Goodwill and a few garage sales. I think they have a total of 6 televisions now. Once again FGR's couch drew blood. Whenever it is moved there is blood involved. Must be a voodoo couch. At least it wasn't my blood this time.

Wow this place is going to be quiet.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

More Exciting Than Watching Paint Dry, Barely.

Dating is exciting in some ways and boring in others. It is exciting when you meet new people. It is boring when you realize there is just no chemistry between the two of you. I try go to for at least 2 dates. The first date you tend to be tense so I feel the second date is more realistic if you can get to a second date.

This was date number four. The first two were after insanely exhausting days at work so I couldn't tell if I was falling asleep due to an extreme lack of sleep or the fact I just wasn't really feeling anything with her. After having 2 more dates I've come to the conclusion: we just don't match up well in real life. Oh paper things look good, but that's why you have to test the theory and see if the reality matches.

I feel sorry for her. I can tell she likes me a bit. I think that is the worst part.

On the plus side I have date number 2 with someone else tomorrow night. Some chemistry is there so perhaps this could develop into something. Who knows, right?

Monday, October 19, 2009

I Just Wanted To Leave At Lunch.

I have far too many things going on right now in my life and far too little time to get things done. I was willing to take a half day of vacation today just so I could finally get to a few important things that needed to be done! It doesn't help when the people you need to see operate at the same work hours of 90% of people during the day including yours truly.

I had most of the morning hearings and The Boss had most of the afternoon ones. How about a swap and I leave at lunch. It was a simple plan that went horribly wrong. The Boss scheduled quite a few pretrial conferences today. For some reason he loves to get a lot of them done in one day. That method has proven quite problematic in the past but he shows no sign of adopting my "squeeze one or two in here and there" approach. The problem we run into is sometimes the courts will decide to schedule hearing during times we've scheduled pretrial conferences. Usually we adapt and can make it work. This time The Boss sabotaged himself. No wait, he really sabotaged both of us!

The Boss doubled booked his pretrial conferences this morning, twice! Normally about a third of pretrials follow Option #1, and a third follow Option #2, and a third one or both parties fail to appear. Yet I knew that since it would be incredibly inconvenient if everyone appeared that would be exactly what would happen. Of course I was right. Karma is a bitch. and she hates me.

I wanted to try to take some of the overload, but I had my own court hearings in the morning. Every time I came into my office the clerks wondered if I could do something, but I told them I was either getting ready to head to court, or fixing a problem that came up in court, or trying to fix a problem before we went into court. I finally finished my morning hearings at 11:30 and suddenly I'm trying to do a pretrial with two parties and a file I've never seen before. Not only that, but they had 3 cases involving them so it took me some time to figure out what was going on. At least they agreed on the important things so that made my job easy. How to fit their agreement into the context of all 3 of their cases would prove to be a bigger problem, but not one that had to be fixed today. So lunch really started at 12:20 today for me.

Oh wait, The Boss also scheduled pretrial conferences for the early afternoon. Looks like I'll need to stay until 2:00 p.m. just to make sure everything works.

I'm just tired of having to catch all of The Boss' mistakes. How do you double book something that is totally in your control?

Oh well at least I got the big important things off my to-do list, but what a grind it was for the late afternoon.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Cascading Entropy Of Liquid Failure.

Let's see. Water got into the wall behind the bathtub so the wall needed to be replaced, along with two others since I had to replace it. I haven't had a shower at home since last Thursday. The leak around the tub drain that falls into the downstairs bathroom got worse. I guess the repair I did last year is failing. Now the kitchen sink that has a slow drip has sped up to a quite annoying tempo. My cell phone was catastrophically dunked into water and can't hold a charge for more than 36 hours.

All this within a one week period or so. Water, water, everywhere and it is seriously screwing up my life! When it rains around here it really pours.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Water And Cell Phones Don't Mix!

I swear if someone invents a cell phone that can survive being capsized with me in a deep creek or a bullet going through it I'll buy it.

I'm pretty good with my phone, but when I do something to it I REALLY do something to it! At least it still works after being dried out, but when the battery only lasts for 2 days that just isn't going to work. Given how little I'm at home I really need my cell phone. Maybe AT&T is running a special.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Paint The Town British Racing Green!









You Paint the World with Calming Colors




You are a true friend. You are very dependable.

Your friends can always count on you to be competent. You are good at anything you do.



You are a truly successful person ... though sometimes it's hard for you to appreciate your success.

You are quite cautious and conservative. You like to weigh risks carefully.


There Has To Be A More Dignified Form Of Transportation.

On the drive home tonight a piece of my car fell onto me. I was completely in shock. Normally my car doesn't attack me, but it did tonight. I hope the beast holds together, but I have to remember, it's not the years, but the mileage!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

I Haven't A Clue.

The Boss is a nice guy, but rather clueless sometimes. Perhaps absent minded is the more accurate phrase. About a week ago I discovered he was going to be out of the office on Tuesday for a conference. After discussing his schedule, my schedule, the court's schedule he finally let it drop that he was going to a conference. Oh!!!! Suddenly that conversation make so much more sense!

I'm about to go home today and I'm chatting with a clerk for a few minutes. I mention that I'll be in tomorrow for only the morning and leaving the office around lunch. The clerk then mentions that Boss will be gone for Monday and Tuesday for a conference.

*Deep Sigh!*

If my workload is going to double, can someone let me know ahead of time? It isn't like the conference come up suddenly and the dates just fell from the sky. I'm doing more and more of Boss's job because he's burned out and some things just run smoother through me, but I'm getting tired of doing Boss's job because he doesn't get around to doing them or doesn't tell me he'll be gone. There's no malice behind his actions, he's just burned out and clueless.

I can't take this any longer. I need another job soon.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I Can't Win Sometimes.

The clerks stated they needed to get information faster so they designed a form for us to fill out during hearings. When done just hand the form to them and they'll do what they need to do. Important things will be done in a timely fashion and they aren't stuck for someone to bring the file to them or write an order or something that only an attorney needs to do first. Sounds like a good idea in theory, but in reality I find it nothing but a pain in my ass.

The form isn't particularly difficult, in fact it is rather simple. Given what the clerks want they really need some of the basic info of a case. The problem is I can't fill out the damn form to their level of satisfaction. For example, addresses.

I fill in an address.
Clerk: "Wolfrham, this address is the same as we currently have. Why did you fill it out?"
Me: "The form has an address field."
Clerk: "Well if it is the same we're just double checking something that is already there. It makes more work for us and the form is supposed to simplify things."

I don't fill in an address.
Clerk: "Wolfrham! How come you didn't fill in the address part of the form?"
Me: "There was no change in address. I didn't want you to double check an address that is already good. I wanted you to just do the things that need to go out ASAP!"
Clerk: "Well if you don't fill in an address how will we know the info we have is correct?"
Me: *DEEP SIGH*

I filled out the address field with the words "No Change" and figure this is fine.
Clerk: "Wolfrham! What is this 'no change'? No change from what?
Me: *Tick on face is developing and my blood pressure rises*

I'm about ready to either shove their form up their collective asses or bring them in and politely ask them how they would like the form field out for every field. I will gladly fill out the form they way they want me to, but I want ONE STANDARD! They more they tried to simplify and improve their work processes, but more complicated they've made mine!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Seize The Opportunity.

I'm not in an active job hunt mode, but if I happen to stumble upon something I'll take a look. I'm on one website today trying to find an address and there is a "Job Opportunities" link. I decided to click on it and discover there is an attorney position that I'm at least half way qualified for.

I think I'll fire up a letter this weekend. Why not eh?

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

I'm Just An Arms Dealer At Heart.

How to raise money for big purchases (like a home).

1. Save up as much money as you can from your job. Check.

2. Sell the few meager stocks you have. Check. (Bonus for being able to take the capital lose on the tax return next year. Not like the stock market is rebounding anytime soon.)

3. Sell a shotgun. Not done that yet and it sounds like a Small Town move, not a Big City move but I could probably get $150 for it.

4. Look around for other trinkets to sell.

Sometimes I wonder if I've been exposed to Small Town too long when selling weaponry is an option to raise money.

November 30th is the last day of the 10% first time homeowner credit. I hope I can swing this deal in the next 3 months.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

3 In A Row!

I don't know what has changed or if suddenly things are working. I now have consistent internet access on our wireless network.

SWEET! Frustration level is coming down.

I was going to go into work, but waking up at 11 a.m. put the kibosh on that idea. Ah...sweet sleep!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Connected Upon Booting Up!

Okay what has changed! Booted up ye olde laptop and it connected to our wireless.

SWEET!

I admit the internet is mostly an escape, but I also do a lot of research online. Nice to have it back....I hope.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Poll Time

Which is the most annoying part of my life?

1. Insomnia that awakens me at 4:00 a.m. for the last 2 weeks.

2. Occasional internet access at home due to roommate's ...whatever he did to the wireless setup!

3. Inability to get orders written due to distractions at work.

4. Inability to get orders written due to attending a million hearings in a week.

5. Inability to get orders written due to solving other people's problems. Wait that sounds a lot like number 3.

I really need the ability to fashion an 8th day of the week that no one else has access to. I would love to have one day a week where no one can reach me, I have no hearings, and I can just catch up on things. People may say do more with less but we've reached the point of you need more to do more!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Spotty Internet Access Just Plain Sucks

The Fabulously Gay Roommate has been monkeying around with our wireless network. He's been trying to get the wireless printer to find our network and print! The wireless capability of the printer was the big reason I got the printer before the end of last year and yet it is the one thing we haven't gotten to work!

The Good: FGR says he can no see the printer on our wireless LAN.
The Bad: We still can't print to it.
The Suck: I have to screw around with my network settings on my laptop for at least 15 minutes before I connect to our wireless network. IF I CONNECT AT ALL!

If you don't hear from me for a few days assume that between too many hours at work, too many hours on the road, and the roommate's infernal modification of our network that I'm not dead, I'm just silent!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

You Did What?

The Boss is occasionally a forgetful person. He certainly does things differently than I do, but usually he's a logical and rational person. So I'm befuddled by this problem. We set up with the courts to handle a special project on Fridays this month. At least that's what I thought. I'm checking the calendar for this month and it seems the courts got a late start and started the scheduling towards the end of the month. Okay fine. I guess our project will go into September. I'll have to check into that later, but I kept things off my calendar for this month.

Boss: Wow we're busy the last Friday.

Me: I had assumed we would be busy on every Friday. I guess the courts needed a little more time.

Boss: Did you schedule any administrative hearings on that day.

Me: I didn't schedule any hearings because I thought we would be busy the entire month.

Boss: Uh-oh I think I scheduled 5 admin hearings on that Friday.

Me: You're joking right?

Boss: Checks his calendar. Yep I scheduled 5 for that Friday.


I don't know which is worse. The Boss scheduled ANYTHING on a Friday that we knew ahead of time was supposed to be for our project. Or is it worse he scheduled 5 admin hearings when 3 in a day is exhausting! My clerk asked me if the Boss thought that scheduling 5 hearings would result in 2 complete hearings because we always have people missing. I don't know, but that means once again I'm shouldering the load alone on a busy day.

It is bad enough I do the work of 2 people because we need at least another person, but when I'm doing my boss's job as well I get peeved. It seems like I cover him A LOT more than he covers me.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

So Hard To Get Good Help These Days.

Me: Okay Fabulously Gay Roommate flip the breaker.

FGR: 11 or 12?

Me: 11 controls this circuit.

*hear a solid snap*
FGR: Okay you're good.

*screwdriver touches a live wire* FLASH, POP, SNAP!

Me: DUDE!!!!!!! I just got zapped! I thought you said I was good!

FGR: Oh wait, sorry. I flipped the one below it.

Me: Tell you what I'll give you the screwdriver and I'll just randomly flip breakers until your hand goes numb!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Money Sled.

Only two more payments and my used car is completely mine. A friend sold it to me so I got very favorable financing. However this year the damn thing is turning into a money pit. First, I needed to replace the front tires after I hit a pothole the size Belgium. That left front deflated in less than 2 minutes. Then I needed a transmission rebuild. It is good to have 1st and Reverse again. I thought I needed an alignment, but instead the tire rotation I had 3 weeks earlier brought the old tires to the front. One had a busted steel belt so I needed 2 more tires.

Now the damn headlights won't turn on. What are the odds both bulbs would burn out the same night? I doubt that, especially given the occasional odd electrical glitch the headlight have given me in the past. Electrical gremlins, did I buy a British car from the 1960's?

At 176,000 miles I need this beast to last. I can't afford a new car right now including the cost of fuel and higher insurance rates for a new car. If this keeps up I'm going to need either more money or less commute. Why do I either feel like the working poor or the struggling middle class?

Monday, July 20, 2009

So Much For That Idea.

I got an email today. Big City interview stated they must cancel the interview. They were unable to offer a position at this time and would keep my resume on file.

Crap!

Did the position just disappear? Did they already find someone to fill it? Did the fact I had to wait until Tuesday to interview kill my chances? Who knows. I hate second guessing things.

I honestly don't know how much longer I can last in Small Town. The hour long commute. The extreme work hours based on the work load and the fact I do the work of three people. A boss who just doesn't seem to do anything urgently. Hell the boss doesn't seem to do much of anything. The boss is burned out and in a sore need of a six month sabbatical. Fine, but that means so much of the behind the scenes workload gets routed to me. All that does is burn me out.

So much for the hope of getting out of the burden of Atlas' shoulders.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Thriller Indeed.

I know I'm a little late to the Michael Jackson death, but I felt I should talk a little bit about it. I only own one CD of his, Thriller, and I hadn't even taken it out of the wrap. I remember buying it about a year ago. I bought it because I knew I needed at least one MJ album and Thriller was what sent him to superstardom. Back when MTV still played videos this was one of the best ever.

I don't know what happened in his personal life. In the best light he got weird. In the worst light he did a lot of bad things. One thing is certain, he was the King of Pop and for 10 years nobody came close to him.

Though I never bought an album until a year ago, he made a lot of the music I grew up with. Michael Jackson, perhaps this Halloween I'll learn the Thriller dance in your honor. Long live the king!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Hope?

I saw the ad for the position in Big City. It is under the same program as my current job in Small Town. I gave some thought to whether or not I should apply to it. In many ways I really dislike the subject matter of my current job. Why would I want to continue on in that particular field?

Yet, it would be a job in Big City. The commute would be less time. I would regain an hour of my life back simply from the shorter drive. I wouldn't spend as much money on gas, oil changes, tires, and maintenance on the car. I would also be in the Big City job market. In the future I would hope I could find job leads around town that would get me to where I want to be. Granted I have no idea where I want to work when I grow up, but I need to start somewhere.

The few people I ask said the same thing: apply it won't hurt.

Given it has been a few weeks I figured I didn't even make the first cut for interviews. Until the email came. Big City job asked for an interview. Luckily we figured out a time. Day One wouldn't work at all, but I asked if the afternoon of Day Two was fine. Luckily yes.

Now the games begin. Stay chill at work. Don't let anyone know I'm interviewing. Come up with a doctor's appointment I need to attend that afternoon. I like the people I work with. The crew is good, but I can't keep working this one job. Too many issues with the job itself, the outside stuff related to the job, the commute and other stuff. I simply want to go home if I can. Is that too much to ask for?

Monday, July 13, 2009

What I Really Wanted To Say.

Judge: It's been seven years. How come no action has been taken?

Me *thinking to myself*: Because the idiot disappeared for seven years. What, you want me to put LoJack on everyone?

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

When The Boss Is Out Of Town...

I'm worked to death! I have to be in multiple courtrooms at once. I'm get all of the screwy problems. The number of hearings aren't too bad, except for Thursday, but the issues seem full of an extra helping of crap and inconvenience. Just as I settle in my chair to work on something of my choosing something else pops up.

I'm just tired and needing a big break soon. At least the holiday is approaching and I'll get a brief respite. At least I hope so.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Oh Hail!

Wow the plants and trees are trashed and my car has lots of little dimples. The hail was about gumball size but when a few thousand of the buggers are hitting my car it sounds like the inside of a snare drum!

The worse part: I ran into the same storm twice! A good thing my car isn't new or I would be far more crushed. I'm merely peeved.

I think I'll just go to bed.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

White Flag Slowly Going Up.

I'm hoping to have at least 2 years in on the job in Small Town before I go elsewhere. Given the insane amount of work we've had the past few months and the long commute I've grown exhausted over this job.

I just updated my resume. Perhaps I'll upload it to a few websites in a few days. Perhaps I might sign onto a few employment websites soon. I'm tired of being tired. There needs to be less frustrating jobs in the legal field that pay at least as well and don't involve a one hour commute.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Star Trek Preview Review?

Umm..a review on the preview of the new Star Trek movie. Full of snark and reasons you should see it including the "Ka-Ching" rating. LOL

VISA Be Gone!

The last year of school. Fees for bar review classes. Job hunt expenses. Day to day expenses. All that stuff went to my VISA card. The numbers kept going up and all I could do was make barely above minimum payments. Before law school I was one of those who routinely paid off my credit card bills every month. The amount of credit debt skyrocketing upward was disheartening. Every new bill gave me a headache. Between the amount I borrowed for student loans and VISA the amount of debt I had was mind-boggling to me. Worse of all there was no way to get rid of it. Student loans can't be discharged by bankruptcy. The changes made to the bankruptcy laws made it more difficult to discharge the paltry by comparison amount on my VISA card. Despite all my intelligence, despite all my creative history, despite my outside the box reality I had run out of hope after years of frustration.

Yet a weak bit of hope appeared, the job in Small Town. I knew the commute would be tiring. I knew the job wouldn't fit my personality much less my dreams. I knew the job would be frustrating, but it was a job that paid money. Any port in a storm, eh? Yet my paychecks didn't seem to go far enough. Gas prices going over $4.00 per gallon last summer, electric bills, rent, football tickets, insurance premiums, that bitch Sallie Mae, trying to put something in a savings account, and all the normal stuff in our lives. Yet I paid as much as I could towards my VISA. The monthly statement started to slowly go down. I remember when it got under $10,000. I practically wept. Perhaps some good luck had finally come my way? Perhaps this really could work? Perhaps I could slowly climb my way out of the dark financial hole I was in? Between a large tax refund and using most of my savings account the check I wrote last month to VISA felt like I fired a bazooka at the debt.

Tonight I write the last check to VISA to erase my debt to them. What was once an impossible mountain of debt is now gone. I don't feel happy, but I am relieved, so incredibly relieved. I still hate the job in Small Town, I still hate the commute, I still hate the impossible situations I'm placed in, but the job has done the one thing I wanted it to do. It got rid of that damned VISA bill! I hope to move onto other opportunities in 9 to 12 months, but for now I'm glad I got something useful out of this job and I'm thankful for it.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

We Lost Our Brains Today.

Scenario #1

Me: Clerk, why are my numbers not adding up? Can you print that off and follow my numbers? Okay so the total is on page 19.

Clerk: No Wolfrham, the total is on page 21.

Me: Eh, what? No the total is on page 19.

Clerk: Oh look, you only went back to 1999.

Me: Oh crap, do you think 2 years might make a big difference?

Scenario #2

Me: Okay I guess we'll need to schedule a status hearing to figure out what's going on.

Clerk: That's okay you can just get the info during the April 12th hearing.

Me: What? No we already had that hearing.

Clerk: No, you're having that hearing just next month on the 12th.

Me: Of April?

Clerk *clearly exasperated*: Yes.

Me: Clerk, what is today's date?

Clerk *ponders in thought for a second*: Oh crap!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I Must Be So Below Average.

Forbes has a list of the Top 25 Best Paid jobs and a list of the Top 25 Worst Paid jobs. At Number 16 for the best paid are lawyers! Supposedly lawyers have an average annual pay of $124,750 with 553,690 "employees in the field."

Okay, I have a good math background so I know how averages are calculated. I know I've been in the real world practicing law for less than 2 years now. (We're not going to get into how long it took to even find the job I'm working.) So I realize I should still be in that entry level starting salary phase. But I am nowhere near that average salary.

I have to wonder if the few lawyers who are into those big class action lawsuits and get a third if they win are skewing the average up to 6 figures. How many lawyers getting 500 million dollar settlements can skew my underpaid public sector salary to result in a $124,750 AVERAGE salary for my profession?

I'm either in the wrong field or I'm just a sucky lawyer.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Run Away! Run Away!









You Are "esc"




Some people might try to say that you're unreliable or flighty.

But you can't help it. You're always finding yourself in sticky situations.



You're willing to bail if things are looking bad. You are quite impatient.

For you, having to escape every now in then is the price of taking risks. And you're not about to stop taking risks!


Thursday, April 23, 2009

Doesn't That Sound Like Someone Else We Know?

The funeral is this afternoon. The long viewing was last night. The more I tried to sneak out of work early the more things conspired to keep me in the office. Every file for today was prepped with copious notes. Thursdays are our busy days, but strangely I didn't have that many hearings I needed to pawn off. I managed to get out on time. That never happens.

Family, family friends, extended family, and plenty of people I had no idea who they are were at the funeral home for the viewing. A video slideshow was on a large TV. Photos of Grandpa's parents and siblings. Photos of him in his garden. A wedding photo of him in his army uniform with Grandma 66 years ago. Photos of him with his trucks, cars, and RVs. Photos of him with family at various holiday including last Christmas. I doubt Grandpa had any regrets in life. He pretty much got to do anything he wanted to. He was retired and enjoying life for as long as he worked toward that retirement.

My mother, Grandma, and extended relative (a great-uncle or second cousin perhaps), and I were standing next to the open coffin. We were talking and I suggested my thoughts on a few things. Grandma just tilted her head towards her husband and said, "Doesn't that sound like someone else we know?"

I'm okay with that comparison.

Today is the first warm and sunny day we've had in weeks. The rain we've had for the past week has broke. Rain during a funeral looks dramatic on TV and in a movie, but in real life it is simply insult to injury. Time for a hot shower and a good black suit. See y'all later.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Who Is Going To Tell All The Stories Now?

Grandpa was diagnosed with lung cancer on Election Day. At age 87 he decided not to fight it. Any treatment would have gutted him and not provided much relief. My Grandpa was the Great Storyteller. He grew up in the Great Depression, meet my Grandma at age 8, only finished the 3rd Grade, married my Grandma 66 years ago before being shipped to England for World War 2, turned wrenches on trucks and Jeeps over there, came back home, raised 5 kids, drove tanker trucks full of gasoline until the early 1980s, retired, drove an RV all over this country, had a retirement trailer in Naples, Florida for years until he hit age 80. With all that history Grandpa had no choice but to be the Great Storyteller! He would chat your ear off if you gave him the chance. No one was ever a stranger to him.

I was with Grandpa quite a bit growing up. My grandparents' house was only 2 doors down. Many a summer afternoon was spent mowing their yard and swimming in their pool. Grandpa was good at watching out for me and the dog. The dog escaped our yard one time due to some idiot meter reader leaving the gate open, and Grandpa saw him on the street and told him to go back home. The dog looked up and quickly pranced back to our home, knowing he broke the rules.

Grandpa loved to have fun during his retirement. He would park the RV on the banks of a river to watch the boat races and barges. He knew where all the good fishing holes were. If some home project needed to be done, he figured out how to do it. No picture frame was ever crooked or cabinet unmounted with Grandpa around.

Grandpa was full of life and always a presence in the room. He might have been sitting down in a comfy chair during the holiday parties, but he knew how to work a room. His voice could be heard from the living room describing how the German pilot tried to surrender to him, how the co-worker's truck slid back down the snowy hill, how to kill snakes with a burning stick, double dating in the Depression, what radio was like back in the day, and all the cars he got to drive.

Yet those days were going to end soon. I enjoyed Thanksgiving and Christmas with him, though it was obvious he was tired and not as talkative. For the past few months I would try to swing by the house my grandparents were renting from Dad Hart every few weeks to check up on them. Every visit there was something new to notice, the oxygen hose, a nebulizer, a walker with wheels on it, a new bandage, a half eaten sandwich for dinner. The decline was slow, but obvious. Two Fridays ago I stopped by for about 30 minutes. We watched the news and Grandpa noted how "all the damned politicians are ruining everything." It was a normal visit. We discussed the idea of a ride along. If we could get a warm Spring day to occur on a day he felt decent he wanted to see the new downtown of Big City. So much had changed in the past decade or so and Grandpa wanted to see it first hand with a nice drive. I wanted to be his tour guide. What a great honor that would be. I wanted to show him all the obvious new treasures and hidden gems of this Big City I love so much.

The thing about terminal diseases is the long decline is slow, but a point is reached when the free fall occurs. I guess this occurred last Thursday. Two days earlier the hospice nurse had a hospital bed delivered into their family room. That Thursday he barely woke up and wasn't lucid for more than a few minutes. I dropped by Friday night after work and the morphine was letting him rest peacefully. Who was this man I wondered? This wasn't my Grandpa. The man was quiet and so frail. My various aunts and uncles and my mother had been there for who knows how many days doing shifts with him and my grandmother. My mom had a few days to be used to this sight. I was sucker punched and in shock.

Today, Sunday, I knew I should get over to my parents' home. The feeling in my gut rang loudly. Mom Hart was with Grandpa and Dad Hart suggested I go over there to pick her up. Dinner would be ready by the time I got back with Mom Hart. Grandpa's condition hadn't changed. His breathe was shallow in the raised hospital bed. I hugged him and patted his hair. I told him about my miserable afternoon trying to fix a leaky faucet. I'm sure Grandpa would have known exactly how to fix my faucet and might have had a proper tool in the garage. An uncle and aunt were with my grandparents and I'm sure my mom would be back later.

The call came right at 7:45 p.m. just after dinner. The Great Storyteller quietly passed into the next chapter. There would be no one last ride. Over the weekend all 5 children, all 6 grandchildren including me, and even the 4 great-grandchildren manged to come over at least once to say good bye. Except for the great-grandchildren and 2 of my cousins all of us were back in the small ranch style house by a quarter to nine. The hospice nurse came and started going over various things. I believe someone from the mortuary would arrive later tonight to pick up Grandpa, and the hospice company would swing by tomorrow afternoon to pick up all the equipment. I say I have a crappy job, but a revelation hit me that this sweet nurse had an even crappier job. I don't know what well this nurse draws from, but she handled our grief and questions well. Sadly Grandpa was the third patient to pass for her this week.

This weekend I was very sad and angry. Since the end finally arrived I'm merely sad. Grandpa had one helluva life! He was loved and respected and the people he loved most were with him at the end. We have so many good memories of him, like the best characters always do. I'm not a religious person, but I have this image of Grandpa meeting Saint Peter and starting with some stories. Nobody is getting through those Gates anytime soon because my Grandpa will be spinning yarns and tall-tales for a long time.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Bed Is So Comfy.

*I wandered downstairs and go into the kitchen.*

Fabulously Gay Roommate: Wow you've been out since before I got home. Is the fact you crashed for a few hours show how bad your day was?

Wolfrham Hart: I dunno. In some ways it wasn't that bad a day, but we just slammed through as many files in the afternoon as fast as we could. Judge needed to leave by 4:00 and we managed to do it.

FGR: Maybe that big push was just that tiring.

WH: This job is just that tiring and my bed is just that warm and comfy.

(Un)Lucky 13.

I shoved all the files onto the cart. It was going to be a fairly busy day. In the courtroom I double checked the numbers. 13 files on the cart and 13 files on my list. I didn't even notice it was 13 files. I was happy they were ready and we were going to tryout a new system I came up with.

Halfway through the hearings I called up this one guy and started to look for his file. Wait a second where was the file? It was on the cart an hour ago. I saw it there! I double checked through my pile and through Boss' pile. The damn file simply wasn't there. Baffled didn't even begin to describe how I felt.

I knew this guy wasn't on my "hit-list" I created for today, but that merely meant he wasn't a huge problem. Was he a problem at all or just a moderate problem? I had no idea. Luckily another party was there and said things were fine. SWEET! At least the hearing went well and quickly.

Now where is that damn file!

Monday, April 06, 2009

National Championships Should Never Be On A Monday Night.

9:20 p.m. and the Michigan State/North Carolina game hasn't even tipped off yet. The Final Four should be played on a Friday/Sunday schedule so people can actually watch the championship and still get to bed at a decent hour.

EDIT: Cricky!!! So much for the pride of the Big Ten! 10:07 to go in the first half and North Carolina is up by 20 points. Wow I never thought I would see a boring game, but unless you're a Tar Hell fan there's no point in even watching this blowout.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

If Nothing We Do Matters, Then All That Matters Is What We Do.

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

- Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, March 30, 2009

Would You And 2 Million Other People Like To Buy A GM Or Chysler?

I don't have time to truly get into the topic, but here are my thoughts in a nutshell. America needs an auto industry. America can build the best cars in the world. Car companies and unions were truly symbiotic parasites with each other. Stubborn pride and a failure to realize some must be sacrificed for the rest to survive has led GM and Chrysler to this spot (workers, brands, dealers). Bad marketing allowed these companies to focus on some products but not others (SUV and trucks over cars). While GM has interesting product in the pipeline, Chrysler was gutted by their former Mercedes overlords.

I hope GM, Chrysler, and Ford can pull through this. Ford hasn't asked for public money yet, but what affects one will affect all. I want my Chevy Camaros, Ford Fusions, Chrysler 300s, Caddy CTSes, next generation Ford Focuses and Fiestas, Pontiac G8s, Ford Mustangs, and the king of the hill Chevy Corvette!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Things I Learn When I Go Looking.

I discovered my bank will send me emails alerts about things that I request. Just click on the boxes I want and I can get emails when checks clear, deposits over a certain size get deposited, when my account goes below a specified threshold, etc. I don't demand a ton of info concerning my bank accounts, but I did want to know when my tax refund arrived.

The email arrived Friday and let me know how big it was. Granted, I'm just going to pay off a big chunk of my VISA bill with it, but there is a certain comfort knowing I have a huge hunk of cash in the account right now.

The downside is I have the travel devil popping up on my shoulder whispering temptations in my ear. "Forget VISA you really want to go to Puerto Rico or Bermuda." Must...resist...temptation!!!

I'm Out Of The Pool By Now.

I got two out of the Final Four correct: North Carolina and Michigan St. To quote one friend, "You have Michigan St. in the Final Four! Are you nuts?" I grow tired of his insolence. Memphis not even getting to the Elite Eight hurt me as I had them playing in the National Championship game. Pitt-Villinova was an awesome game to watch and tight to the end. A shame I had Pitt winning it all (over the aforementioned Memphis) so I'm out of the pool now.

It has been a good ride while it lasted.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

It Has A Scary Ending.

*Unlocks the front door, puts bag down, and sits down at the table and puts head down. 2 minutes later the roommate wanders by.*

Roomie: Oh hey Wolfrham! I didn't even hear you come in. How long have you been back?

WH: Ummm...a couple of minutes I guess.

Roomie: Wow you look like crap. Was it that bad today?

WH: Actually, I only had two hearings in the morning until my late afternoon stuff kicked in. Things were okay until 2:30.

Roomie: Then the tidal wave hit eh?

WH: Tidal wave. Gates of hell. Same difference. I told the boss it would be a miricle if we got out before 5. That miricle didn't happen.

Roomie: Hey...are you going to lift your head up anytime soon? You're napping on the newspaper right now.

WH: I'll think about it.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Day 1 And The Brackets Aren't Dead Yet.

Day One of March Madness. I LOVE this time of year. The thrill of the bracket is getting it right. To show you are the MacDaddy of basketball predictions. Little red lines bursting through your predictions are signs you failed. Nothing like looking at an opponent's bracket sheet and proclaiming, "Your powers are weak old man!"

Luckily on Day One I'm doing fine. A few minor loses, but nothing major yet. Of course we have Day Two tomorrow. Usually one of the First Rounds is a killer day. Any good upsets yet on your sheet?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

They Get What They Deserve.

*right before the hearing begins*

Me: Hold on a second. Last night I read the letter you wrote to the Court back in December. I have to say it isn't a good idea to have this hearing.

Client: What do you mean?

Me: If everything you say is true, this will back fire on you completely. You'll end up with less money.

Client: Well that isn't fair!

Me: You saw the situation from your point of view only. I wished you had called us first and asked if having a hearing was a good idea. I would have suggested leaving things be.

Client: You got to fix it then!

Me: I can't go back in time and stop you from writing that letter.

Client: Well what good are you?

Me: I'm your advisor, but you need to ask for advice first before you act as your own lawyer.

*Once the Judge ruled I was proven right. What a shame. Sometimes I hate being right.*

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

St Patricks Day Ideas.

If you pinch me because I'm not Irish I'll pretend I'm German. I'll conqueor your country and drink your beer.

Unforgiveable Sin

2 weeks ago I missed Battlestar Galactica. I was out of town on a road trip. Sure I've missed a Friday night here or there, but I could always count on my parents to record it. I was always caught up before watching a new episode. Last Friday I planned to catch up on what I missed before the new episode to be shown. Ye olde Digital Video Recorder was missing. It self-destructed my parents said.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is safe to say BSG is one of the few shows that lasted more than a season that I've watched every episode from start to finish in order. Babylon 5 was the only other one I can think of. My streak was about to end. The old girl was tearing herself apart, Boomer was escaping with Hera, and I was missing out. With all my loyalty to the series it was unforgivable that I missed the episode.

So I caught last week's episode and was treated to pure garbage. The first of the three part series finale and it was pure garbage. 30 minutes of flashbacks. Whose bright idea was that? Shouldn't the writers be resolving storylines? Shouldn't the writers be setting up the final battle? Shouldn't the writers be showing the grit and resolve of the main characters?

Nope we got flapping pigeons in a skylight, a baby shower, and Baltar's father calling Baltar a git. What was the point!!!!!!! I've had BSG episodes that weren't as good as others, but this was the first time an episode bored me. Perhaps that episode set up the other two for the series finale. I'll find out this Friday when Sci-Fi shows them. Even if true an episode needs to stand alone enough to not be boring. The writers and producers failed in that respect. How unforgivable that is to me.

PS: Luckily Sci-Fi has the episode I missed online. It was awesome!!!! Why did that level of awesomeness continue?

Monday, March 16, 2009

Sometimes There Isn't A Point.

Clerk: How as your hearing in Other Small Town?

Me: That was 3 hours of my life I'm not getting back.

Clerk: At least you'll be reimbursed for mileage.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The No Win Scenario

It doesn't matter how many hours I put in. I don't get one red cent extra.
But if I don't put in the hours I'll get bitched at by everyone for not getting work done.

I think I still have January orders to write so that's one reason to go into work today (Saturday).

The worse the economy gets the busier I get. I know I've been a bad blogger, but I haven't been home much these past few weeks. Sorry.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Creature, Not The Battlestar














You Are a Pegasus





You are a perfectionist, with an eye for beauty.

You know how to live a good life - and you rarely deviate from your good taste.

While you aren't outgoing, you have excellent social skills.

People admire you and feel very comfortable around you.



I'm Too Cerebral For My Own Good.

Honestly I thought I would end up as Professor Xavier.















You Are Jean Grey





Although your fate is often unknown, you always seem to survive (even after death).

Your mind is your greatest weapon, literally!



Powers: telepathy and telekinesis, the ability to project thoughts into the mind of others, communication with animals



Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The Best Heroes Never Quite Fit In.




You Would Be a Upstanding Superhero



You are alert and observant. You can see through people easily. You know who's evil and who's good.



You need a lot of freedom in your life. You like to do your own thing, and you don't fit into any normal mold.



You understand people quite well and often know what others are thinking. Because of this, you can get people to do what you want.



You tend to feel apart from the rest of the world. You don't really fit in, and you don't try to!



You are a true intellectual. You are thirsty for knowledge, and you are curious about the world.

Personally I Think Librarians Are Hot.

I admit it. I LOVE finding out about some obscure topic and mastering it. Solar powered radiant floor heating, growing chickens in an urban environment, the latest automobiles debuting at various autoshows (bring over a new diesel VW Polo please!), a local historic neighborhood, and looking at various external frame backpacks are some of my most recent topics of the week.

I truly do know a little bit about everything.




You Are FAQ



For you, the internet is like your personal library. And you know more facts than fifty normal humans.

Your brain is basically lot a computer at this point. You have a lot of information stored up there.



You spend hours looking up obscure information and learning things. If you have question, you always Google it.

You can't help but be a bit of a know-it-all. You can answer everyone's frequently asked questions.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Thank You Sallie Mae.

Normally I would never, ever, EVER, utter those words, but this once I'm allowing it.

I installed TurboTax and started preparing my returns. I knew I wouldn't owe any money unlike last year. I really needed to have a good idea how much of a refund I would get back. Any refund is going towards the VISA bill I racked up during my multi-year job hunt. I'm at the point I can see the light at the end of credit card tunnel. If my refund can accelerate my debt relief by a few months it'll be worth it.

I place all my tax documents into a folder, but I didn't have anything from Sallie Mae concerning student loan interest. I ran the numbers I had and TurboTax said I had a good federal refund, but owed the state money. WTF! Is my home state taxing the hell out of me or is the W-4 situation all screwed up?

I went back to my inbox and rummaged through the old mail. I found the Sallie Mae envelope. Problem: it didn't say important tax information, but merely, "important information about your student loan." Hell that's usually something somebody wants to sell you so usually I confirm that's a sales pitch and then shred it.

There was how much student loan interest I paid. I plugged the numbers into TurboTax and suddenly life got really good. The proposed fed refund is now very sweet and the state owes me some pocket change now. How sweet is my refund now? The added numbers will allow me to pay off VISA an extra month early. The combined refund will take off an entire season. But for my student loans I could be officially debt free by the fall. I'm looking forward to that. A net worth of zero will be a good thing and be like my old pre-law school days of no debt. I miss those days.

Light at the end of the tunnel indeed. Who knew working on taxes could be a good thing.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

You Can Use A Technicality To Get Things Done.

*After watching a hearing before mine.*

Lawyer: I didn't know you could throw a person in jail for being stupid.

Me: Technically no, but stupidity was the root cause of that guy's actions.

Lawyer: You mean his lack of actions.

Me: Eh same difference.



*During one of my hearings.*

Me: So you're getting disability benefits. What is the nature of your disability?

Witness: I'm stupid.

Judge and I share a look of DON'T LAUGH NO MATTER HOW TRUE IT MIGHT BE!

It Is A Time Of Mourning.

I'm tired of 10 episode seasons for television series. Just when the series gets good the series is finished for a few months. Leaverage is over (haven't seen it yet). Burn Notice will be over soon. The grand dame of currently awesome TV, Battlestar Galactica, is over in 4 more episodes.

I guess I'll just have Mythbusters and Monsterquest for my video entertainment. Yep I'm a geek.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

That Is The Best Thing You Ever Put Into A Crock Pot!

That's what the roommate said as I opened the front door. The smell wafted through the air and the taste was just as good. I'll share the recipe with you.

Around 5lbs of pork shoulder roast on sale for 98 cents per pound.
3 or 4 small red potatoes chopped
Lots of peeled baby carrots.
A sauce and spice packet for pork roasts.
1/2 cup of water
Some thyme.
Some garlic.
Some oregano.
1/2 cup or so of ketchup on top of everything.

Put in a crock pot and let simmer for over 8 hours.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I Admit I Like The Cold And Snow.

It isn't so much snow to interfere with driving, but enough to be pretty. I like the fact the cold keeps people inside. To me the air is brisk and forces me to feel alive. I have to fight the cold and the wind. I love it. Cold enough to feel alive, but not so cold it makes you want to immediately retreat back inside.

I'm weird and I know it.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Friday Quotes

"I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, I require the same from them."

John Wayne in The Shootist.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I Guess This Is The Precursor To Astronomer.

I preferred astronomy as a child, but that didn't exist back then. I miss thinking about "billyons and billyons of stars!" Carl Sagan ruled!



You Are an Astrologer



You tend to be a fanciful, spiritual person with many interesting theories.

You are always trying to figure out how all the pieces of the world are connected.



You have a knack for predicting the future and reading people.

In modern times, you would make a good self help guru or a director of a non profit.

We're Taking Friendly Fire!!!!

Me: Why is the court making us do their work?

Clerk: Because they can?

Me: This job sucks enough when we have to do our stuff, but doing the court staff's work will make it impossible.

Clerk: I don't know when they stopped doing their job.

Me: Someone needs to go up there and remind them that they can't do our job and we can't do their job. Court stuff needs to be handled by court staff. If the guy I'm having a hearing against is calling for a continuance the staff should explain how to do it. It isn't legal advice. We don't represent them and I'm not going to do the work for opposing parties. Just because someone is pro se doesn't mean they can't ask for a continuance or petition for a hearing on some issue! Staff sure as hell shouldn't ask us to do it for them.

Clerk: You want to go ahead and tell them. Go right ahead.

Me: If I could figure out a way to do with without stepping on their territorial landmines I will. Maybe we can sucker the Boss into doing it.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Best In Show!


I think DogHound should win that Westminster Kennel Show. He's over 12 years old so he still has a shot. So DogHound doesn't do tricks and barely walks due to his arthretis. Still he's just cute and fuzzy and so friendly. I may not be able to convince the judges DogHound is the best dog, but he works for me.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Unemployment Is Going DOWN!

The Fabulously Gay Roommate found a job! He starts tomorrow. FGR is disappointed in that the job "is a lateral move" and very similar to his last job. I explained he's been unemployed for at least 6-7 months and he's really moving up in the world by simply having a job in his field. At worse he's holding steady and in this economy that is saying something.

Sometimes I wonder about his perspective on things. He seems rather disappointed.

In some ways I sympathize with him. I recall losing a job with one contract firm. A few months later another contract firm signed me up for the same position I was let go from, for worse hours and less money. I was happy for the money and the employment, but I knew I was going to loathe the situation. I don't know. My experience was a 3 month layoff in a mediocre economy. FGR has been out of work since June or July of last year in the worst economy since the Great Depression. Hell it took me 2 years to find work in MY NEW FIELD after I graduated!!! Perhaps he didn't hit near rock bottom like I did and doesn't realize how lucky he is. The young do lack experience.

Oh well. He'll figure it out eventually. Sometimes the only goal is to have a paycheck. In a year or two both of us can move up the job chain.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

I Don't Want To Grow Up.




You Were an Achieving Kid



When you were a kid, people often remarked on how mature you seemed. You acted quite adult.

You excelled at school, and you actually enjoyed it to a large extent. No one had to ask you to do your homework.



As a kid, you were probably a bit picky. You liked structure, schedules, and organization.

You had trouble being friends with regular kids. You probably were only friends with other serious children.

I Want My DTV!

Actually I'm still using my old Sony 27 inch TV so I won't see too much picture improvement when broadcasters switch to digital TV. Still the Fabulously Gay Roommate and I got the digital converter box for our cable subscription about 6 months ago. Why did we get the box? Because broadcasters have been telling the American people they needed to make the switch over a year ago.

So I'm not feeling sorry for the people who hasn't got some converter box or bought a new TV. They've had a year or two to get ready. It wasn't like the switch to digital was sneaking up on anyone. If you know a hurricane is coming and you don't do anything about it then you're an idiot. I just don't feel sorry for idiots.

Does Congress honestly think the idiots that aren't ready in February will be any more ready in 4 months? I hope a lot of TVs go to static when the conversion does happen. It might force people to read a book or talk to their spouses and children.

I Think I'm Getting Used To The Arctic Blast.

You know you've seen too many arctic blasts of cold air when you can tell the difference between 10 degrees and 0 degrees.

*Stepping outside when the temperature is only 10 degrees.*

WHEW! Damn it's cold!

*Stepping outside when the temperature is only 0 degrees.*

F&*$@#!!!!!!!!

This morning was at 0 degrees so you know what I said.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The Last Football Post.

Now begins the most depressing time of year. NO MORE FOOTBALL!!!!! Pro-Bowl doesn't count. Oh well the college season starts in August/September.



You Are a Touchdown



You're the type of person who can work steadily toward any goal in your site.

You don't lose hope when things look bad, and you're able to keep moving forward.



You are an excellent strategist. You can think a few moves ahead, anticipate problems, and develop solutions.

You work well with a team. You trust your teammates and have no problem handing off tasks to them.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

SuperBowl Sunday Selection.

I'll watch the big game with my parents. For some reason no one is hosting a party this year. The Hart parental units are having some BBQ ready so I'm sure DogHound will be in the kitchen begging.

So what is my pick? How does the Traditional of Excellence Pittsburgh Steelers stack up against the Wonderteam of the Playoffs Arizona Cardinals?

With apologies to my favorite reader in Arizona, but I'm picking the Steelers over the Cardinals. I don't think it will be a blowout, but the efficient offense of the Steelers and their crushing defense rings true to me. Should be a great game though!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Who Knew Getting An Oil Change Was Dangerous?

I just had an oil change at the Jiffy Lube. The technician was asking if everything meet to my satisfaction. Everything looked fine. The technician started to walk back to the front door. The key was already in the ignition so depressed the clutch so I could start the engine. Despite the cold it fired up just fine. I let off the clutch; the car lurched forward and stalled! The technician was right in front of me and slid a bit on the snow. He had to brace his arm against my hood!

I almost ran over the man. When I park my car I leave the transmission in neutral and use the parking brake. Unless I'm on an incline I never leave my car in gear when I'm parked. I forgot the oil change techs will leave my car in gear when they park it. Given how often I need an oil change you would think I would recall that important fact.

My mind went into a whole lot of what if scenarios. What if I took the key out of the ignition to put it back on my keyring? What if I remembered my car would be in gear when I got out to it? What if I just glanced down and noticed my transmission was in gear? My mind also raced into full legal mode. Would I have been at fault if I hurt the tech? Would the store be at fault for leaving the car in gear? Could it be truly considered an accident with no legal liability? I hated that my mind even had those thoughts. It felt very selfish.

No harm, no foul, but we both were scared for a few seconds. A scary reminder that something can go wrong in the blink of an eye.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Not The Way I Wanted To Spend A Personal Day.


I was somewhat looking forward to today. A day with no hearings means I can finally attend to the mountain of files in my office. Assuming nothing weird occurred, a big assumption, I could easily get over 20 files out of my office. If I were truly focused perhaps over 30 files.

General Winter had a different idea. The snow in the morning was a bit of a problem, but only delayed my arrival by 15-20 minutes. The snow we had overnight on the other hand was a knockout punch. Big City had 10 inches of snow as of early this morning and it was still coming down.

I brushed enough snow off of my door to get inside. It was above 20 degrees so the engine fired up without a hitch. I spent the next 20 minutes brushing a good 8 inch layer of snow off my hood, roof, trunk, and windows along with a thin layer of ice. The snow was well above the bottom of my bumper. That isn't a good sign at all. When your bumper becomes a plow you tend not to have enough power to get through it. I also had no idea how much traction my tires would have. A neighbor came out and wondered if she should even bother to try to get to work today. I told her wait 2 minutes and see if I was stuck, then make her decision.

I made it about four feet.

I left the car running and went back to my place to find a snow shovel. I wasn't worried about my car being stolen. I dug around my car for 30 minutes to clear the snow away from my tires and undercarriage. I tried to rock the car out of the snow and made it a foot back towards the parking spot. I shoveled for another 20 minutes or so and decided to try again. I noticed another half inch of snow was on my roof again. After shifting into first or second and then shifting into reverse I managed to rock myself back into the parking spot.

Around 8:30 I called work to see if anyone was even there. One clerk answered. She lives in Small Town and normally has a 5 minute drive to work. Even with her Jeep it took her nearly a half hour. Another clerk managed to pick up a third clerk. There was no word on the Boss or others. I told the Clerk we had no hearings today and while I wasn't giving up it wasn't looking good that I would make it in.

I walked up to the street. It wasn't clear, but it was plowed and passable. An old Geo Metro drove by me. I figured if a Metro could drive on the snow I could too. If I could make it 300 feet I could get to the street. A neighbor had a big Ford Bronco similar to what O.J. Simpson had in that infamous slow chase in L.A. I saw him get stuck in the snow for about 10 minutes. If that thing has 4 wheel drive and if he was smart enough to engage it and he was still having problems I knew I didn't have a chance!

I think I'll just stay home and put on a comfy sweatshirt.

EDIT: By noon the sky was sunny and a truck with a plow had come through. I only needed to shovel the snow wall the plow created. I'm amazed at the difference just a few hours can make. 12 inches of snow is not a problem right now. Go figure.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I Don't Think It Will Be As Bad This Time.

Today is the anniversary of the infamous Blizzard of '78. I think we got 10 inches in less than 12 hours. I just remember A LOT of snow on the ground the following morning and being stuck inside. Tonight we're getting the first wave of two snow storms. I'll admit it is pretty, but we're only looking at 2 or 3 inches for tonight and perhaps another 2 0r 3 inches tomorrow. Of course if the storm travels in a different direction maybe we'll have 10 inches in the morning for all I know.

I can handle snow. Ice is what I fear. I suspect the commute will be longer tomorrow. A good thing I have no hearings tomorrow. At least I filled up my tank with cheap gas this afternoon so if I'm stranded I"ll be fine. Not that I'm anticipating being stranded, but some idiot could always run me off the road. Times like this I miss my old Jeep. Thanks to the Blizzard of '78 my parents bought that big old Jeep. I miss the unstopable nature of the old beast, though I don't miss the 10 miles per gallon on leaded, yes leaded, gas that thing guzzled down.

Anyone else have an old car they miss?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

KITT vs KARR: The Smackdown Of Lameness!

The original Knight Rider is the quintesence of early 1980's Glen Larson cheesetasticness. David Hasselhoff and a talking indestructible car as crime fighters. BRILLANT! Combined with The A-Team, The Dukes Of Hazzard, Airwolf, The Equalizer, and MacGyver there was no better run of television shows.

My childhood has been tampered due to the abomination known as the current Knight Rider series. The movie was horrible. I've tried to watch something of the new series, but after 5 minutes my stomach curdles at the sheer volume of crap I'm forced to endure. Bad writing, bad stories, horrible logic, and too many characters.

For tonight, if there was one episode to watch this was it: KITT vs KARR. In the original series KARR was the evil prototype Trans Am that would eventually become our noble crimefighting KITT. In the new series KARR was the evil Mustang/Transformer that would eventually become the new KITT, the Ford Mustang able to transform into any other Ford product available (and somehow a submarine too from what I've heard). Voices by the the original actor, Peter Cullen, the previews showed ANGRY OPTIMUS PRIME trying to destroy KITT. (Peter Cullen was the voice of Optimus Prime in both the cartoon series and the recent movie.) The though of ANGRY OPTIMUS PRIME destroying the horrific new KITT and Michael Knight had appeal to me. I decided to watch the entire show.

NBC writers in their wisdom decided to finally introduce KARR at minute 52 of the show. Oh I see, they'll make this a two parter! FINALLY introduce the BIG BAD near the end of the first episode; therefore, forcing me to commit to a second episode. They want ratings and using horrible writing and sluggish plot development to achieve this! I gave the writers and studio execs too much credit.

On the off chance you actually want to see the show I suggest you stop reading now as I'll ruin it for you otherwise.

Instead of a dramatic cliffhanger, the new and lame Michael Knight with a stripped of his invulnerablity KITT decided to turboboost through the chest of KARR, who is in robot mode. Shouldn't KARR also be invulnerable? Even if KARR isn't invulnerable for some reason the giant killer robot is vulnerable to any redneck who decides to catapult a car though the robotic chest. WTF! That is the lamest killer robot ever!

Almost as bad is the fact KARR had a human in the chest cavity (has to merge with a human for some reason) and that person is now on the ground looking like he's suffering from a cold and a nosebleed. If a car turboboosted through the passenger compartment of your automobile wouldn't you be chunky salsa at this point?

The evil character that spent an entire episode building up to was destroyed in two minutes. THAT WAS THE BIG BAD! If the General Lee, or even worse Roscoe P. Coltrane's police car, could jump off a dirt ramp to destroy your killer robot, then you're not worthy to be KITT's nemesis.

I'm so glad this series has already been canceled. I need more Leverage, Burn Notice, and Battlestar Galactica!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

We Shall See.

I keep trying to write an inauguration post, but I have a problem. I keep wanting to type some eloquent post expressing my thoughts. Instead I'll just post an email I sent to a friend that isn't eloquent, but cuts to the quick of the matter.


"So, any estimates on how soon the most ardent Obama supporters realize he is merely a man and not Jor-El's only son sent to remake the world, cure cancer, and bring the world a Coke?

I don't have a major problem with the Obama the man but I can't stand most of his supporters. Its a cult of personality and I swear the cult just turns off their collective brain.

Keep in mind, I did vote for him so I'm not a bitter diehard of the losing side expressing these ideas. Both McCain and Obama gave me little bits of what I wanted in a president, a lot of what I didn't want, and it was a narrow victory.

As for Obama as president, I'm willing to give the guy a shot and if and when he screws up I'll complain then."

Monday, January 19, 2009

They're Going To The SuperBowl!

Sadly my team isn't, but the improbable Arizona Cardinals will meet the Steel Curtain of Pittsburgh for SuperBowl 43. Nobody is surprised Pittsburgh is representing the AFC, but did anyone really think the Arizona Cardinals would make it to the big game? They'll be big underdogs, but lately it takes an underdog to win games it seems. It'll be an interesting matchup. I'm sure oddsmakers in Vegas are working overtime now.

Who has the hi-def big screen and the party for me to attend so we can watch the game :-)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Sometimes You Need To Drink Ambrosia Straight From The Bottle.

Wow that was a season beginning for Battlestar Galactica. When I saw Dee featured a lot in the review section I knew she was going to be big in the episode.


Poor Dee!


If Starbuck finds herself in the wreckage, what the hell is she? When Leobon is freaked out you know something has hit the fan.


If you guide humanity to a nuked paradise I can see why Laura Roslin would retreat to "I just don't care about anything." place. I'm sure burning a holy book leads you to a place in hell though.


Look out world, the old man is drunk and asking for a sidearm. The Admiral had the best line when asked what were they going to do now: I don't frakkin' know!


The Final Cylon is....you've got to be kidding me!


I'm waiting to see where this goes over the next 9 episodes, but somebody better start explaining things. There are way too many unanswered questions and I want a few things figured out! This is going to be one heck of a dark gritty ride I can tell.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

There Will Be A Smackdown Soon.

Clerk points finger at order and notes in the case jacket.

Clerk: Wolfrham, what happened here?

Me: The Judge made a ruling.

Clerk: Did you fight it?

Me: Yes, and the Judge still made the ruling.

Clerk: How could you let that happen?

*Getting rather pissed the Clerk is riding my ass.*
Me: Miss Clerk, there is a certain rank order of things and the Judge outranks me! If you have a solution to this situation please tell me what it is. Otherwise let's just lick our wounds, accept what happend, and move on.

Clerk *in shocked look*: Then what are we doing here if the Judge is going to make decisions like this?

Me: The Judge is the decision maker, not us.


I appreciate the Clerk's passion, but she needs to work on on her professionalism. There are ways of inquiring what happened without being such a bitch. There are way too many little things like this that are starting to boil over. Mistakes get made and somethings things just go wrong through nobody's fault. I'm not perfect, but if you're rubbing me the wrong way then there is a problem.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

If You Look At The Calendar Only 3 Days Suck This Month.

Sadly two of them are this week: yesterday and tomorrow. Which really means 4 days suck because you spend one day preparing for the other day with all the hearings. To make matters worse I ran into a block of 4 files where no one has touched them in 5 to 10 years. So much for prepping a file in 5 minutes. Try 15-20 minutes of frustrating number crunching.

Bookend the day with a morning and evening snowstorm and I'm just going to bed now. Forget about dinner, laundry, Mythbusters, or reading anything.

Perhaps if I can get a good night sleep the Fortress of Suck will collapse.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Now THAT Is Good Customer Service.

Customer service seems to be in decline these days. I ordered something online from a small speciality shop on Wednesday and it arrived on Thursday. I was shocked since it was free shipping and I figured I would get my order in 3 to 5 business days at the earliest. I didn't get a chance to unpack the big box until today. I ordered 11 items, but only had 10 things in the box along with a ton of those foam shipping peanuts.

I was about to shoot off an email asking to send my missing item for free or to give me a refund and there were 2 emails already waiting for me dated yesterday. One informed me the items was out of stock and couldn't be shipped so they were going to refund the cost to my credit card. The second email was a confirmation of the refund.

NICE!!!!

I think I may order from them in the future.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

I Shouldn't Have Got Out Of Bed This Morning.

If it isn't the drive in it was the drive out this week. Snow, sleet, freezing rain, wind all in abundance with winter's fury. Except for today that is. The drive was easy coming in. I should have known something was wrong. The files were prepped yesterday. All the minor crisises (crisisi?) were resolved yesterday. Every T was crossed and every I dotted. Karma demands balance.

A missing hearing, people trying get out of what they promised, people trying to make bad decisions they've made before, and a judge trying to break in the lawyers to his way of doing things.

Instead of having Burger King for lunch perhaps I should have bought some scotch.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Let's Make A Deal!

I didn't have many hearings today for the first day back, but the degree of difficulty made up for the lack of numbers. I poured over the file for nearly 2 hours as I read rules and commentary. I dreaded the amount of questions I would have to ask in order to pin down some solid facts. I never meet the opposing counsel, but she seemed born for battle based on the phone calls and emails I've hard with her.

I wandered into the courtroom and the judge was running late and stuck elsewhere. The attorney, the parties, and I discussed a few things and my opposition seemed open to working out some deal. I didn't like her numbers and she didn't like my numbers, but we whittled down some of the smaller issues and then split the difference on some numbers. Both parties simply didn't like each other and were obviously tired of dealing with each other. I used that to my advantage.

"You know if we just use some rough numbers and figure out a few things ahead of time that would relieve you two from having to do a monthly accounting. Just deal with these estimated costs for an annual basis and if something big happens that's when to the two of you have to do an accounting and sharing of costs."

It worked perfectly. They could live with rough approximations as long as they got out of each other's hair. The judge appeared and we told him we have a rough deal and just needed a few minutes to iron out the last details. For a second I thought it would blow up at the last second on this little nagging issue when a spouse pointed out: is it worth it to fight over that and give up everything else?

My thoughts exactly.

I helped work out a deal I thought was impossible. I deserved a Diet Coke after that one!

Friday, January 02, 2009

First Quiz Of 2009: Wear Your Colors Proudly.









The Ultimate Color Test




When you are at peace, you are:



Thoughtful and sensitive



When you are moved to act, you are:



Unorthodox and idealistic



When you are inspired, you are:



Spiritual and humble



When your life is perfectly balanced, you are:



Philosophical and expressive



Your life's purpose is:



To live a passionate life