We Lost Our Brains Today.

Scenario #1

Me: Clerk, why are my numbers not adding up? Can you print that off and follow my numbers? Okay so the total is on page 19.

Clerk: No Wolfrham, the total is on page 21.

Me: Eh, what? No the total is on page 19.

Clerk: Oh look, you only went back to 1999.

Me: Oh crap, do you think 2 years might make a big difference?

Scenario #2

Me: Okay I guess we'll need to schedule a status hearing to figure out what's going on.

Clerk: That's okay you can just get the info during the April 12th hearing.

Me: What? No we already had that hearing.

Clerk: No, you're having that hearing just next month on the 12th.

Me: Of April?

Clerk *clearly exasperated*: Yes.

Me: Clerk, what is today's date?

Clerk *ponders in thought for a second*: Oh crap!