Time Is A Luxury You Don't Have.

Second night in a row I've pulled off a 11-plus hour day. Why am I barely getting anything accomplished by staying late? If I got more done I would be okay with the price I'm paying in time and exhaustion. Yet, so far the deal isn't working.

It would be nice is something worked better during the day, but today had so much wasted time where I'm waiting on someone else. Or I'm called to put out a fire when I expected some downtime. I swear if we ever get laptops I'll be all over that. Use the laptop while I'm stuck in the hallway or waiting for my hearing to start.

Oh well. I better just put more effort into the job hunt. Greener pastures must be elsewhere.

Quit Blowing The Damn Horn!

A tornado siren is across the street from my home. When we get some pretty bad weather it goes off alerting those outside to get inside and seek shelter. It has been going off for a few minutes now. I'm not certain why. The rain isn't too bad and a quick look at the weather radar indicates there is a nasty storm quite a bit to the south of here but it is heading straight east.

I thought Big City had upgraded the sirens to be more locational, but perhaps if you fire one up you have to fire all of them up. The sky is lighting up pretty frequently with lightning that jumps from cloud to cloud. It is very pretty and the weather people on TV are saying the storms are strong, but no indications of tornadoes. I hope the people to the south are okay, but seriously can someone just turn off the siren across the street?

You Have The Right To STFU!

Today was a miserable day on so many levels. So much did not work. People lied, people didn't bring materials they were supposed to, people didn't provide documentation to me 2 months ago like they should have, people didn't bother to communicate with me months ago and now though I would solve the problem, etc. etc.

The idiot showed up an hour late. The judge already ordered a bench warrant for his failure to appear, but will usually hold off on that if someone shows up within 24 hours. I knew nothing could be accomplished without the other party who had left earlier. I figured a 10 minute talking to would make an impression on the idiot. I was so wrong.

The idiot just kept talking, interrupting the judge, offering weak answers, and was just plain rude. So the judge decided it was direct contempt and worth 10 days in jail. Normally idiots shut up at this point; however, this one was special. Since he wouldn't shut up and kept interrupting the judge it was decided 20 days was proper. As security walked the handcuffed idiot out of the courtroom he said something so incredibly stupid I couldn't believe it. I don't know if the microphones picked it up and put it on the record, but the judge heard the comment too. Sir, you've now graduated to 180 days as a guest to the taxpayer simply because you couldn't keep your big mouth shut.

At least I know where to find him now for the next 6 months.

A Useful Feature.

I haven't gotten into my job search as much as I've wanted to. Life has a tendency to get in the way. I've noticed a severe lack of help wanted signs as well. It seems to me the legal job market shuts down for the summer unless the application is for well seasoned attorneys. I'm not that well seasoned and I know I'll be competing for jobs with recent grads who've passed the bar exam. Since the exam isn't for a few more months I suspect there won't be many want ads until then.

I looked at the website for Big City. It had a very useful feature. If you check the boxes for the types of employment or areas you wished to know about it will email you any future jobs for the next year. Sweet! Someone finally had a bright idea. With luck in a few months a job I'll be interested in might just show up in my email.

With luck.

Pleasant Surprises.

Given all the rain Big City has received lately I was expecting yet another hot and humid day. Imagine my surprise when I reached for the Sunday paper and discovered a fairly cool and dry air. The air conditioning is off and I have every window open to let in any breeze I can catch!

If only my patio was finished so I could drink a morning cup of coffee and read the paper. Oh well you can't have it all.

A Case Of Mistaken Identity?

*Pushy Clerk comes into my office and shoves an order into my face.*

Pushy Clerk: Wolfrham, what's wrong with this case? *Stated in a tone that implies I've done something wrong again in Pushy Clerk's opinion.*

*I'm totally clueless, don't have a file in front of me, and simply read the order. It lists all the attorneys who attended the hearing and there were several. However, my name isn't listed as a participant.*

Me: I don't know Pushy Clerk, but why don't you ask someone who actually attended the hearing?


I admit I do thing incorrectly sometimes or later realize I should have done something in a different way. However I'm tired of Pushy Clerk's know-it-all attitude. I think it is time for Pushy Clerk to go to law school, pass the bar exam, and do my job better than I can. Only then will Pushy Clerk work with someone that meets her standards.

As In Full Of Hot...

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

Peace Through Superior Firepower Is My Motto!

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead... But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself. You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place. You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

How Machiavellian Are You?

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

I Still Need To Work On The Thriller Dance.

You Are 64% A Child of the 80s

Not only did you experience the 80s... you are practically an expert. You should be totally stoked!

Are You a Child of an 80s?

Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

Mr. Spock As An Artist.

Your Creative Power is Your Logic

You're the type of person who is great at execution. You don't just dream about ideas - you make them happen! You are idealistic and determined, but you are also a realist. You only undertake projects you're pretty sure you can finish. You are a natural problem solver, and you actually think better when you're being challenged. You do best when you work by yourself or when you're in charge. You ideas are big, dramatic, and the best.

What's Your Creative Power?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

The Blahs.

I swear I've been infected with a terminal case of the blahs. This is even worse than the typical Monday Blahs. Perhaps a good night's sleep will provide some relief.

40 Under 40.

I admit it. I'm tired of all these 40 Under 40 lists. Whenever I see one, especially when a classmate or schoolmate is in one I wonder: what am I doing wrong? I hate being jealous, but I also hate not being as good as I want to be or being recognized for all the things I do accomplish. I accomplish the dirty jobs. No one ever seems to care about the dirty jobs but they need to be done. I'm a person who does things. I just wish I did a little more.

Be Careful What You Wish For.

The staff came to me with a problem. It seems various people had been doing things without our office. Not only that, they hired their own lawyers to fix their problems. However, those lawyers never contacted our office to see if there were some issues. So it is a few years after they thought they solved their problems. Nope, those idiots were wrong! Not only that, but the idiots wanted our office to solve the problem. Oh, I'm sorry as soon as a problem affects you, now you want to talk to us. Give me a break!

I resent the fact our office has to clean up the mess others create. However, we had a brainstorming session. The idiots want me to resolve the problem. I decided we should solve it, but I'm going to do it my way and not the way they wanted. Not only that after a few minutes we realized the expected answers were not at all like they expected.

I'm going to give these idiots exactly what they asked for. They're not going to like it.

Happiness Is The Simple Things.

Okay, sometimes happiness is visiting the parents after work and taking a nap with DogHound. It was one of those days where it wasn't worth getting out of bed. I think DogHound agreed.

Would This Qualify As Stare Decisis?

This judge never minces words. "Well sir the problem is you're an asshole!" I have no idea how my jaw didn't drop when the judge said that. The guy looked at the judge and agreed. I did raise an eyebrow on that one. I had to ponder. Since it was on the record the guy was an asshole does that set precedence? Would it ever be noted in a hearing in April 2010, that so and so was an asshole? I guess it would only matter if another court needed to determine the issue.

Sometimes there is humor in my day.

Small First Steps.

I'm sure if I got home at a decent time I would have this task finished by now. Instead I'm about halfway through the task. I'm updating my resume. It should have been done a long time ago, but I've finally reached my threshold.

It is officially time to start looking for a new job.

I'm sure the job market sucks. The type of positions I'm most interested in I hear nothing but bad news about in the papers, TV, and web. I refuse to jump ship to just anything else out there. Yet I can't stand the inequity of my current job.

I can't stand the fact I have twice as many hearings as my boss. I can't stand that I put twice as much into the file before a hearing because I figure I should be professional and try to account for the most likely scenarios and questions I'll encounter at a hearing. I can't stand that I put in twice as much after a hearing before giving the file back to a clerk instead of just dumping the file into the clerks' laps. I can't stand the never ending combat with these cases. We can't fix them. We can't solve the problems. We can't make people better than what they are, and these people can't fix a thing in their lives. We can't finish a case.

I can't stand the hour long commute. I put on over 26,000 miles on my car last year. I can't stand the long hours on the job, the long hours on the road, the too few hours of sleep and the scant few hours remaining in the day. I'm tired of every Saturday wondering if I should go into the office and the Saturdays I do go down wondering why the network is only available until noon.

It may be a day or two before I get back to my resume. It might be the weekend before I start paying the legal websites to get access to any open positions listed. It might be awhile before I find a good ad to respond to. It might be awhile before my life changes, but change it must.

On Call Again.

This time I'm on-call for jury duty in Big City. I have to call a number and listen for my lottery number. If my number comes up I report for jury duty the next morning.

Given that I am an attorney I have great difficulty imagining that I'll every actually serve on a jury. What lawyer would want another lawyer in their jury?

Toying With My Prey.

He's a clueless moron. At the last hearing the judge ripped into him like polar bear. Deservedly so I might add. He's a moron that fails to realize his actions have consequences. The judge told him what conditions the moron must follow to be in the judge's good graces. I wrote that order of course and I try to use simple every day language. I even broke down the judge's conditions using the numbers 1, 2, and 3. Nothing was unreasonable or difficult to do either. We knew he had a problem with employment and money so the third condition was if you work at all that week pay something towards the obligations you owe. Even if the moron only paid $5 - $10, we could have worked with that. The second condition was if you get or lose a job just let your attorney or me know in a timely fashion. Neither of those sound unreasonable or difficult to do, right?

Over the past few months I had a few email exchanges with the moron's attorney. We could tell the moron was having trouble following the simple directions. I noted if the moron wouldn't correct the problem soon I would press the issue with the judge at the next hearing. When I prepped the file for today's hearing I discovered the attorney had withdraw. The excuse was the moron wasn't fulfilling his end of the bargain in a nutshell.

The moron walked in today. I knew I would finally have fun and hopefully make a point to this dumbass.

Me: Okay did let me or your lawyer know you had a job?
Moron: Yeah I got around to telling the lawyer I had that I was working.
Me: When did you start working?
Moron: November.
Me: November? I don't see any money till just before Christmas. Did you get paid in November and early December at all?
Moron: Yeah I signed a sheet saying it was okay to garnish my pay.
Me: So did you pay anything once you started working?
Moron: I signed the sheet saying it was okay to start garnishing my pay.
Me: No I understand you signed a paper to start the garnishment. My question is when you saw your first couple of paychecks, you saw taxes were taken out right?
Moron: Yea.
Me: And you saw that FICA was taken out for Social Security right?
Moron: Yeah they always do that right?
Me: And you noticed there wasn't any garnishment right?
Moron: Well I signed a sheet after that saying it was okay to garnish my pay.
Me: No I understand you signed the sheet. What I'm asking is you saw the garnishment didn't come out for at least a month right? Did you pay anything at all until the garnishment?
Moron: No.
Me: Do you remember what the judge said at the last hearing?
Moron: No that was a long time ago.
Me: When you got the order in the mail, did you read the part saying if you worked at all to pay something? And if you lost your job you had to tell your lawyer or me?

The judge ripped into the moron again and sent him to jail for contempt of the court. All too easy!

My Red Pen Ran Out Of Ink.

How's your tourney bracket looking now? While upsets are awesome to watch and it is fun to see powers go down, it does make one's bracket sheet look like it was used as gauze for treating a wound.

Wounded brackets, yeah that sounds right. Heck we still have all of Sunday's games to go through for the rest of Round 2!

Congratulations to No 1 Kansas. You are officially the biggest choke in the 2010 tourney!

Our Proper Mission Statement.

We fail to do the impossible with minimal resources.

I'm Going To Need So Many Furry Kisses Tomorrow.

This week has been hell at work. Seriously I can think of no other way to describe it. I've stayed until 6:30 p.m. twice to get ready for the next day, tonight I stayed until 6:00 p.m.. Tuesday was my early night by getting out at 5:00 p.m., by going through 30 hearings in 3 hours. What...the...hell! For the last two and a half weeks I've been dealing with either a continuous flow of hearings or needing to prep all those files for the continuous flow of hearings.

Tomorrow will be a constant flow of courtrooms. In addition to my stuff I'll have to cover some of my boss's hearings as well. When he scheduled his pretrial conferences there wasn't anything on the calendar then, but now there is. I'm sorry but when I schedule my pretrials I only schedule two in a morning, max! I do it so that I can go to some hearings if required. The boss will schedule 4 in a morning and 2 in the afternoon just so he can be finished with all pretrials in one day. I think he's nuts.

I'll be honest I'm getting resentful of having to cover for him all the damned time. I already do the work of two attornies because we're just that busy and Small Town will never hire someone to help us out. Yet I do the work of more than two attornies because I have to double check that my boss is ready for what we know about and quickly spring into action when something goes wrong and he isn't available. This morning was a perfect example. I had a 15 minute break where I wanted to type a motion I needed for tomorrow. A court calls and wonders were someone from our office is. We had hearing then? Really? When the hell did that pop onto the calendar? It wasn't even my file, but after scrounging around for the file I prepped it in about 5 minutes. I could have prepped it in 2 minutes, but the staff kept asking me what was going on. Okay I know people are trying to be helpful, but after I explain the problem once please leave me alone so I don't type in the same incorrect information four times because people keep distracting me. It isn't a good sign when I ask all the parties why are we here today.

At least tomorrow I'll visit my parents. The elderly DogHound had a decent week according to them. I shall place DogHound on my lap, explain how horrible my week was, and let his brown eyes express how much he wants me to pet him. If DogHound is feeling somewhat energetic he may even kiss me. I'm very happy DogHound has lasted this long. I'm really going to need him tomorrow just to feel human again.

I'm Going To Win This One!

One of the courts sent a note down stating I was to provide the written order from an October hearing. Oh crap, did I miss one? It happens every now and then. We have so much volume we sometimes haven't written the order yet, or the file gets into one of the clerks' hands and they forget to bring the file back.

I find the file and open it. Underneath a few pieces of paper is the written order that I typed up the day of the hearing. The judge's signature is dated 9 days later.

I'm already insanely busy and backed up with orders to write. I don't need to deal with a forgetful court as well!

Happy Birthday Chuck Norris.

Today is the 70th birthday of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is 70? No way! In typical Chuck Norris fashion I heard he roundhouse kicked his birthday into next year.

Spring Is In The Air.

I couldn't take it anymore. The sun was out, the temperature the warmest since before Thanksgiving, and my window will open. I opened up the window in my office! Sure the temps were barely over 50, but that feels very warm compared to the winter we've had.

Fresh almost springtime air wafted into my office window. Along with the cigarette smoke from the judge by the steps. I've forgotten how far that odor will waft.

I swear nothing totally good ever occurs at work.

Early To Bed, Early To Rise?

I'm so sleep deprived I'm going to try to go to bed now. It is 9:30.

I think I'm turning into an old man!

Sometimes I Just Feel Dirty.

I'm doing a little paraphrasing but it went something like this.

In the beginning A owes B a lot of money. A also owes me a little money.
Later on B should start paying A. However since A owes all that money it is decided that B should burn through all the money A owes as a credit.
I really dislike those deals as no one ever keeps track of when the credit is burned through.
Now B burned through that large credit and never bothered to start paying A when the time came.
I had to figure out all the numbers. Turns out all the money A owed me was never paid and is still owed. Call that value X. What B would owe A is 10X. B was rather shocked by this. Hello you didn't keep track of things did you?
A and B decide instead of B paying A 10X and A paying me X, that B will pay X to me and A will forgive B's debt.
Okay. I did my job and protected X. A and B got something they wanted. A forgives B's debt and resolves the debt to me. B got to settle a debt for 10 cents on the dollar. Legally it is all good and the judge signed off on the deal.
Yet I have a huge moral qualm. A is a deadbeat dirtbag and gets out of paying any money for any debts A owed. I'm a firm believer you should pay your debt. I'm hoping one day all the crap A has pulled off will someday catch up to him in a bad way. I don't have any moral qualms about that.

Not Even The Titanic Got This Swamped.

Last week was a bad week at work. By bad I mean insanely busy. I stayed in my office to well past 6:00 p.m. on both Tuesday and Wednesday to prepare for Thursday. I already knew last Thursday was going to be miserable. I was proven right in ways I didn't even expect. My boss decided to leave that afternoon on a pretty flimsy excuse after 3:00 p.m. Our 1 o'clocks didn't start on time so the 2 o'clocks didn't start on time so when the boss left at 3 o'clock I had to deal with every single hearing. I suddenly realized all the little things we do together on those Thursdays that I had to do by myself. It just slowed the court down as I couldn't multitask as much as I needed to. I got home at 7:00 p.m. that night.

Friday morning was the exhaustion hangover as I simply wasn't productive. To make matters worse I had to deal with every single hearing Friday afternoon. My boss had to leave yet again! I do recall him mentioning he had to leave early a few days earlier, but I thought he was talking about 3 in the afternoon. At least the excuse was somewhat reasonable. I dread Friday afternoons in this one court as we never get out on time. I was proven right once again as I left just after 5:00 p.m.

I hoped to make it into the office last weekend to catch up on things. I never made it down to Small Town. I didn't even wake up until 11:00 a.m. on Saturday because I was so exhausted. This week I was still exhausted and unproductive. Fighting allergies or a cold or the sniffles wasn't speeding things up either. I knew tomorrow, yet another Thursday, would be bad, but I figured I could use the afternoon to prep. Instead I spent all afternoon in my Friday court on TWO hearings! The Friday judge got two friggin' hearings done in the afternoon. After the first hearing, the other attorney and I discussed if it could have been any more disjointed. I figured a kitchen sink could have been thrown in somehow! When I finally got to my office Pushy Clerk let me know my boss wasn't happy having to cover 2 hearings of mine. Oh really. Pot, kettle, black! Besides one of mine didn't even show up.

For most people it was quiting time. For me it was just getting started! A few files I couldn't even find. I prepped the ones I had, then I noticed some cases that were in my day planner, but not on our office calendar. Most of the ones in my day planner were still valid. *Deep sigh* I think I found most of them and did some quick prep work. By 7:00 p.m. our network is shutting down so I decided to leave.

I'm just so tired now. I honestly don't know how much longer I can take this workload.

Why Even Bother?

Me *speaking with a clerk*: You know all those hearing dates you got last Thursday? The court just called down and they're going to continue all those hearings. It appears they have too many hearings that day

Clerk: If they are going to continue them why did they give us those dates?

Me: I didn't want to ask that question because then I would say something I shouldn't.

Quotes For The Best Laid Plans.

Quote #1:
Judge: Mr. Hart, why are we here today?

Me: Well your honor, for once one of my plans worked!

Judge: Feels good doesn't it?

Quote #2 (later that day)
Judge: Mr. Hart, what is the status of this case?

Me: Your honor it's like a sine wave, started up, then went down, but now we're back up.

Quote #3 (also later that day)
After hearing some unexpected testimony, being somewhat pleasantly surprised, and glancing down at the notes my boss left me concerning this case.

Judge: Mr. Hart, what do you want to do?

Me *glances at the written notes again*: Your honor I'm going to overrule my boss and ...

Quote #4 (yes this was even later in the day)
Judge: Mr. Hart, who do you want next?

Me: I'm just going with whoever's file is at the top of this pile.

Denny Crane: 2012!

A Boston Legal marathon is on TVLand right now. Ah, the good ol' days of Denny Crane drinking scotch, smoking cigars, winning cases, and shooting people at random. I'll be honest after about Season 2 I stopped watching, but there was still plenty of good stuff.

I proclaim this the best political commercial for the 2012 presidential race.

Happy Singles Awareness Day.

I admit it. I really dislike February 14th. I know most people call it Valentine's Day, but that is only the name given to it by those who practice the Coupledom faith. As I do not practice that faith I'm more akin to my Jewish friends around Christmas time. My Jewish buddies, I know what you mean.

What makes me even more bitter (as if that were possible) was that in January I actually started to date someone. She was very smart, very interesting, and had many of the same interests and passions I did. I thought things were going well and I was looking forward to slowly evolving into a couple with her. Until 10 days ago when I received the "Dear Wolfrham" email. She just wasn't that excited about 'us' anymore.

Wow, not even 30 days and I'm already dumped. Though I'll never know her reasons why I get the feeling from a few things she said that I was the rebound guy after her 5 year relationship fizzled last year. I also get the feeling that perfection with her would have been if I instantly did all the good things she wanted in a relationship without having to go through any of the growing pains. Well I'm sorry but I don't believe relationships work that way. Two people just don't automatically click together in every aspect without any work. Work takes time.

I know any future relationship with me won't be the easiest thing. The things people involved in a long term relationship take for granted are new and unusual things to me. I think people have limited memories and forget what things were like before they were with someone else. To me, dating and relationships present a steep learning curve. Historically I simply haven't dated that much overall and I haven't been in a long term relationship in a very long time. My life went in a different direction than most people, and to top it off I know I've evolved some thick emotional armor. I like to think the right person would enjoy being with me and be willing to do some work to know the inner layers of me. Instead I'm cast aside like an unfavorable meal.

The past few days I wasn't bitter at all. Today, I'm just plain cranky and mean. For those who want to be happy with their significant other today enjoy it. You deserve it. I just don't want to be around it today. B'ah humbug! Perhaps I'll visit my parents later and have the unconditional love of DogHound. Who would have thought my fur-buddy would be a better companion than most people?

My Former IT Background Rises Again.

I would have no idea how to operate a Mac to be honest.

You are a PC

You're practical, thrifty, and able to do almost anything. Appearances and trends aren't important to you. You just like to get the job done. You pride yourself on being very flexible and adaptable. You do well in many different environments, and you can get along with just about anyone. You aren't stuck up. If anything, you are quite humble and down to earth. You accept your flaws and deal with them. You don't cover up your problems with pretty packaging.

Are You a Mac or a PC?

Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

I Need To Find More Time To Read.

You Are Fantasy / Sci Fi

You have an amazing imagination, and in your mind, all things are possible. You are open minded, and you find the future exciting. You crave novelty and progress. Compared to most people, you are quirky and even a bit eccentric. You have some wacky ideas. And while you may be a bit off the wall, there's no denying how insightful and creative you are.

What Kind of Book Are You?

Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

Mondays: The Legal Edition

I swear I never put so much effort into so few hearings and gotten so little accomplished.

1) First hearing and I discovered it was set for January 25, 2011. Yes 2011!
2) Hearing #2 and the other attorney wonders if we should just continue the hearing and see if things will work out.
3) Hearing #3 Pushy Clerk let's me know we're filing an appearance on a case and the hearing is in 15 minutes. 15 minutes, really I just need 5 to prep the whole file! Does anyone have any idea what the issues at this hearing are?
4) Hearing #4, I show up, but the pro-se contestant who wrote the letter requesting the hearing didn't show up.
5) Hearing #5: Oh NOW you show up! Dude you were supposed to appear last Thursday.

Eh that's only half the stories today. Jeez what a screwball day.

Down To The Football Final Four.

Oh I LOVE this time of year. Colts/Jets and Saints/Vikings. 3 awesome quarterbacks and a scrappy up and comer. I suspect the Colts/Jets game in the AFC Championship will be lower scoring grind it out type of game. Saints/Vikings for the NFC Championship is going to be a festival of offense.

If only I had friends coming over to watch the game and bring some beer. A good football party is a beautiful thing.

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

If you like cold, wet, and miserable today was your lucky day. While the outside was miserable, inside at work was okay. It was nice to have a fairly productive day. Sadly I don't see too many of those. I wish they occurred more often.

Who Gives These Morons Advice Like This?

*Names changed to protect the guilty and the stupid.

Me: Okay ma'am, do you have any idea where "dumb-ass ex-husband" is? Would he be in jail somewhere again?

Woman: Oh no he escaped. He was on work release in Big City and just didn't come back one day. He's even on Big City's 10 Most Wanted List.

Me: WHAT!?!?!

Woman: Oh yeah, he escaped down to Texas and calls me from there sometimes. He thinks he can't be extradited from down there.

Me: "Dumb-Ass Ex-Husband" thinks he won't be extradited from Texas??? He might want to cross the Rio Grande before he even thinks that thought.

Woman: If I can ever get an address on him I'm reporting him to that tipline. I want that reward!

Me: Might be the only money you ever get out of him.


I'll be honest. I've reached the point where I think we should just firebomb really stupid people just to get them out of the gene pool. He's Candidate #1.

I Thought The Drive To My Job Was Bad.

EDIT: Since the original got yanked off of YouTube how about the properly licensed original from NBC?

But 10:00 p.m. should be my bedtime!

Pleasant Surprises.

Normally meeting someone for coffee is a 60 minute affair or so. When coffee and lunch lasts for 5 hours you know it was a good first meeting. Especially when she has a VIP discount card for the beer we're drinking. Wow. That has to be one of the best first dates ever.

Mexian is planned for Tuesday night already. She's a planner. I'm just going to roll with it and enjoy the ride.

His End Is Too Near.

The noble and wonderful Doghound is dying. We've known this since before autumn. The vet did an x-ray and the mass, likely cancer, in Doghound's body was obvious. The vet didn't want to do any surgery to confirm the diagnosis since at Doghound's age that would likely kill him. The vet prescribed quite a few meds for Doghound and things seemed okay at first.

The past few months Doghound became finicky about food and quite adapt at finding the pills we hid in them. Spitting out meds was almost a sport for him. Now he's barely eating and barely drinking his water. With all the snow on the ground he does like to eat it when he goes for a quick walk. Yet he sleeps so much when my parents walk into a room and see him laying on the floor they wonder if he's already passed. Then he'll pop up his head and wonder why his humans are looking at him so much.

Friday night I was at my parents' home with Doghound laying his head on my lap. I remembered when I would arrive he would wag his tail and just vibrate his body at my arrival. I remembered when we used to play tug of war with a thick rope. I remembered when I was sick and he simply sat down next to me as if to watch me and make sure I was okay. I remembered the first day we brought him home as a puppy. I turned a box lid upside down for him to be on. The box had a half inch lip and it was an impenetrable barrier Doghound could not cross. The next day Doghound stepped over the lip and nothing stopped him since. One time time I was reading the newspaper at my parents' family room table and Doghound did a flat-footed jump onto the table! Doghound decided I was finished reading the paper. With his head in my lap Friday night I leaned in and told him I'm sorry his time was soon and I was sorry I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Some people think a dog is just a dog. To me the truth is simple, most dogs are better than most humans and most dogs will treat you better than most human beings will. When you go to a breeder or shelter I have the feeling the reality is the dog chooses you, and not the other way around. Doghound choose us as his humans. For food, a scratch behind the ears, and an old blanket to sleep on he provided love, companionship, protection from squirrels, and unlimited tail wags. Whatever problems I was having required only a few pets of his fur to make me feel better.

My gut tells me we're down to just days now. My furry friend and companion will be gone soon. I hate it, but at least I know he was well loved and had a great life. If only more of us were as lucky as Doghound.

I Can't Fix The World.

I've had two incidents this week that have driven me batty. The incidents have varying levels of seriousness but I think they're both symptoms of the same problem.

Incident One:

Pushy Clerk: Wolfrham, can you tell why the Case Number isn't coming up in the Database?
Me: Eh? *Thinking this sounds like a computer issue and wondering why Pushy Clerk is asking me this question.*
Pushy Clerk: See, when you type in the Database Number there is no Case Number assigned to it.
Me: Okay, you're correct. Why are you asking me this? I don't control the Database.
Pushy Clerk: Well when you wrote the order, didn't you notice the case fields would have come up blank or did they even come up blank in the first place?

*As an aside one of the things the Database does is to interface with a Microsoft Word template for our documentation. Certain things like a person's name, the case number, the court the case is in would fit into the template when I bring up the document I need to work on.*

Me: I wrote the order a few days ago. I just don't remember if the fields were working or if I just manually wrote them in. This Database has so many problems when I run into a problem I usually just fix stuff on the spot because it takes less time.
Pushy Clerk: Yes, but why is there no Case Number assigned to the Database?
Me: *Oh crap we're back to that question again?" I'm sorry I just don't know why the Case Number isn't in there. We could test what happens with the document by generating a new one and seeing what happens. *I'm thinking I'm pretty smart now."
Second Clerk: *shouting to all in the office* The template is done! You're not going to be able to generate any documents!
Me: *Crap!* Or we can experiment when the template is back up and running. Whenever that is. Look that sounds like a technical issue that is far beyond my knowledge. I'm sorry but I just don't know how to answer you.

Pushy Clerk and I may speak English, but we can't communicate with each other anymore. To me the question sounded like a technical issue involving a computer database. I now suspect she was really trying to ask a different question but just didn't phrase it in a way I would understand. Sadly I'm just not certain what the "real" question was. Somehow I am to resolve any problem, make sure the process was performed perfectly, and she let's me know when something is wrong. Not only that but Pushy Clerk loves to let me know how I let something wrong occur. Sometimes I did forget something, but other times the answer, "that is how the judge ruled" is not an acceptable answer. I've started to put in the orders I write that I was overruled on an issue just to remind Pushy Clerk that higher powers exist over me.

Incident Two:

The Judge simply got tired of the case and shut it down. The Judge wasn't going to deal with this anymore and suggested a potential resolution. Here's the problem: that resolution is very simplistic and I'm not certain I could ethically do it. All of the judges are getting tired of our cases. I don't blame them. So many of my cases just run into problem after problem after problem and won't resolve themselves. I went across the hall to visit with a co-worker, Obi-Wan, in another division. His division was part of the proposed solution.

I explained the Judge's concerns and I explained the fact pattern. I agreed in some situations Obi-Wan's department was a great solution. In other situations there was no way his department should be part of the solution. But this case was a 'tweener case and I wasn't sure where on that spectrum it would fall. Sadly a lot of my cases would be a 'tweener case and I really needed Obi-Wan's insight. I did learn a few things, but many of Obi-Wan's thoughts mirrored my own.

On a professional level, I believe if I'm referring a case to the other division I need to believe a reasonable chance of resolution exists. I'm not talking about slam-dunks, but would the other division have a reasonable chance of winning? If not, aren't I wasting everyone's time and resources? On an ethical level if I'm referring a case to the other division I believe I need to have reasonable grounds to refer the case to them. At a reasonable glance does the case meet their criteria? I can imagine a screwball lodging an ethics complaint against me for referring their case to the other division and really messing up their life. I'm not certain how far such a complaint could go, but at the least it would create some aggravation in my life.

After the hearing that started all this the other side's attorney, The Cowboy, and I were discussing things in the hallway. The Cowboy had an observation, "Now we know what one of the Judge's standing orders is: Fix the world."

If only we could.

The Turbulent Aughts

I find the fact the first decade of the new century is almost over to be mind-boggling. From the world's point of view we've had the Y2K scare, Bush v Gore, September 11th, invaded two countries, gave mortgages to anyone with a driver's license, lost a space shuttle and the Concorde, a big tidal wave, are still in the two countries we invaded, had everyone spend too much and lose the houses they bought with mortgages secured by a driver's license, had the economy melt down because everyone spends more than they earn, elected a black man to the presidency, had GM and Chrysler go bankrupt and be propped up by the government, made it through the worst of the Great Recession, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a ton of important stuff still!

On a more personal level my Aughts were just as turbulent in many ways. Sure I had some of my 20s in this decade and some of my 30s will be in the next one, but overall the Aughts were my 30s and so much happened. I lost my job and was rehired 3 months later for worse hours and worse pay. I decided to change careers and go into law school. During law school I discovered the definition of hell as a school was set up in the completely opposite way I learn and 3 years of that is very draining. I did study and pass that other hell rite of passage: the bar exam. You would think all that was the hard part. I know I did. Oh how wrong I was.


I had a two year struggle of part time jobs, temp jobs, and just doing anything to pay the bills until I found a job that made use of that degree. I truly learned what it meant to struggle, be worried about how I was going to pay bills, and where was the next dollar coming from. Then I found a job, but I could foreshadow it would be problematic. The long commute, the odd subject matter, the burned out boss, the tidal wave of constant work, the debris of humanity I would be dealing with, the fact I do the work of two or three people, and knowing I would never get additional help. I knew it was a first job, not a forever job. The job in Small Town was simply a placeholder on my resume and nothing more.

To me the Aughts are the decade of transitions, survival, and rebuilding. A decade of nothing going according to plan and fighting for any minor success I could get. To me it feels like the Lost Decade. I lost 10 years of my life and I can't say I'm in a better position now in 2009 than I was in 1999. Yet I feel a very guarded sense of optimism now. I've rebuilt the foundation of my life and now all the cinder blocks are in place to actually build something. I'm in the process of buying my home. I've only lived here forever so why not actually own it. Thanks to EHarmChemMatch.com I'm at least dating again. Despite some horror stories I could describe as dating in the 21st century perhaps that can evolve into a good relationship one day. Once I've bought my home I'll begin the process of looking for a new job. I'm not certain how many jobs are out there right now. I've heard too many stories of not filling open positions and actual shedding of jobs. Still the economy churns jobs and something has to be out there I would fit into. I doubt the perfect job is out there, but I'm sure something better is out there. Then I might start believing the law school/lawyer experiment was worth it.

I can see change is coming. I'm hoping the changes will be positive. Some of my friends can tell life has hit me very hard, yet I still keep getting back up. It's been an ugly fight but at least I still continue fighting. For 2010 and beyond I want to be the one swinging and see my punches bring positive things to my life. I want to the fruits of my labor blossom and I think I'm finally in a position to start doing that. Guarded optimism indeed. Happy New Year to all and may we get the good things we want. I know I've worked for it.

The Esoteric Objects

I have an extensive collection of esoteric objects that reflect my love of various movies, television shows, and numerous hobbies. When people find one of the objects in my esoteric collection they tend to have one of three reactions: 1) Oh you like such and such. 2) What the hell is that? 3) OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A...! It is fun to watch their reactions. What is the most fun is when someone else is in the know. They see the object, recognize what it is or what it means, and they appreciate its coolness. Some things are just a subtle wink and a nod and I appreciate that.

Though I refuse to pay 2 day shipping which would ensure arrival before Christmas I stumbled upon something that is very very cool. At least to me it is extremely cool and it will add to my esoteric collection. I can't wait for the first person to notice it on my wall and just grin in amazement.

Merry Christmas folks. I hope your holiday shopping is already finished.

Christmas Shopping In The Snow. No problem!

I'm not 100% recovered from the flu yet. I tire easily and I still have a cough that comes up every few minutes with the occasional slime my lungs are trying to expel. Ugh. At least my appetite seems to be recovering a bit. I've been able to eat cereal, leftover pizza, and a turkey etoufee. I just can't eat anything quickly. That might not be a bad thing actually as it could help me lose some weight.

Since being incapacitated with the flu for a week really put a crimp in a lot of my plans I used this weekend to get some of them in gear. Job #1: Christmas shopping. The original plan was to use Amazon.com so I could avoid the holiday shopping crowds. I looked at my parents' lists and realized I could get something for both of them at the same big box electronics store.

The good news about this big box was it wasn't in or near a huge mall. In fact it's a bit of a pain to get into and why this particular building has been 4 different stores since it was built. I took a back way to the store and didn't hit any traffic. Looking around I was surprised the overall traffic wasn't too bad. It only took me around 30 minutes to grab four items for Mom and Dad Hart. Another 10 or 15 minutes to get through the line to pay for them and I was out the door.

5 days before Christmas and I think I'm already finished. This could be a record for me.

Survival Of The Fittest Part II

Except for a few hours on Monday morning to cover some hearings I've been near death at home the entire week. I'm working on the assumption it is the regular flu. Fever, aches, nasty cough, no energy, no appetite. Compared to people suffering with diarrhea or vomiting or both I have the better symptoms I suppose. Small consolation as from Sunday to Wednesday I still felt like I was near death. Constant coughing, no energy at all, the inability to sleep since I'm coughing all the time, and the constant desire to drink water, apple juice, orange juice, and whatever flavor of Crystal Light is handy at the moment. I bought a 3 liter container of apple juice Monday afternoon and finished it this morning.

For the past few days I've been napping and sleeping whenever I want. Monday and Tuesday I could only be awake for about 3 hours at a time. Sleep in my bed, sleep on the futon, sleep in the recliner chair, it didn't matter. Sometimes I moved only for the reason of sleeping someplace different. I'm not sure how much I actually slept given all the coughing I was doing.

Wednesday was both a highlight and a low light. The fever finally broke and I could actually eat one sandwich for a meal. The bad part was when I stepped out of the shower and suddenly felt vertigo. You know in the movies when the helicopter is hit and the alarms start going off while the camera is suddenly shaky to enhance the feeling of danger? I swear I heard, BREEEP!!! BREEEP!!! BREEP!!! in the back of my mind as I reached for the toilet but couldn't find it. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I figured sitting down as a better position than standing up. And...nothing...happened. I put my head on the sink, drank some water, and after a few minutes the vertigo disappeared. Much ado over nothing, but for a scant few seconds I was honestly scared. I knew if I passed out I would likely hit my head on something making things even worse. I didn't want to die like Elvis on the toilet.

Today I feel vaguely normal, call it 60%. I can talk on the phone for a few minutes, something Mom Hart doesn't quite understand. Hi Mom I'm calling to let you know I'm still alive, not wanting to go to the Emergency Room, but I'm not wanting to get into a long story of the day. I'm not certain why she doesn't understand that.

Small Town gave me a call back today as well. They've had a few of their own funny issues without me. They're glad I'm not dead and if I can make it in tomorrow for some work and the holiday lunch that would be good. Umm..upon gazing at the calendar there appears to be quite a number of hearings tomorrow. I'm rather surprised. The real question is how many of them are false positives? I suspect a lot of them have been continued, but I won't know until I arrive.

I'm hoping by Monday I can be at 100%. I'm tired of feeling tired.

Survival Of The Fittest.

Yesterday it was obvious I was coming down with some winter crude. A cough, some phlegm, and a general feeling of tiredness. I even woke up last night twice just to drink some water as I felt incredibly dehydrated.

Today's mission is simple: 1) drink plenty of fluids, 2) stay warm and dry, 3) don't do too much and exert myself, and 4) a good nap after the football game.

The Boss is taking a vacation day tomorrow so I'm the only one that can do the few hearings we have tomorrow. Luckily the courts are shutting down for the holiday season so we don't have many hearings through the end of the year. I'm just hoping I can kill whatever bug is in my system and be okay for tomorrow. I've been sick at work before and it is always miserable. If worse comes to worse I suppose I could just leave after the last hearing. I hope we don't have anything in the late afternoon if that is the case.

I think this job is trying to kill me.

Officially Winter

The weekend had some obsolutely freezing weather. What was a minor chance of snow ended up being an inch. I just happened to glance out my bedroom window and noticed all the white stuff. Surprise!

Instead of staying at home with a cup of hot chocolate and enjoying the view I had to go into work. Ugh. Last week was so obnoxious I'm still recovering from it. A drive in the first snowfall was not what I needed. For whatever reason people forget how to drive in snow the first time it comes back. SLOW DOWN YOU MORONS! Seriously, just slow down, don't tailgate, anticipate your movements and you're usually okay.

I never got above 55 m.p.h. on the interstate and 45 m.p.h. on the highway. I squeezed past two wrecks and numerous slideoffs. I followed my own advice and got into Small Town without any big problems. It took an extra 20 minutes so I'm glad I left 15 minutes early. So much for getting an early start to the day.

One day I hope to enjoy a snow day. I remember when snow was fun and not the enemy. I still want that cup of hot chocolate.

Easy Come Easy Go.

Between a AutoZone, a grocery store, and all the bills that need to be paid by the 10th of the month my paycheck is already gone. Normally I try to put 10% of my paycheck into my savings account, but I decided to hold off on that this time. On top of that the Fabulously Gay Ex Roommate came by to pick up some more stuff finally. Of course he used to take care of the cable bill and now that is my responsibility. He noted the bill is due by Tuesday. Tuesday! It just came in the mail last Tuesday.

The last few months I've been using the rental checks as money to go into my savings account only. I didn't want to life off of FGR's money because I knew it was going away. While my bills seemed to be okay I have this gut feeling that something may be wrong. I decided to put my finances into a spreadsheet and get a feel for where my money is going. I only have November and half of October done, but once I put in more of this year I wonder if I'm not going to like the answers. Perhaps I can get rid of cable again.

How To Survive Black Friday.

For those who are about to go into retail battle for your cheap deals may I suggest a good strategy to get through the day.

A-M-A-Z-O-N-DOT-C-O-M

I avoid the malls, the people, the insanity, and it gets delivered to me usually for free. That's Christmas shopping I can get into!

Things To Be Thankful For.

As pessimistic and jaded as I am I do feel the need to be thoughtful on occasion. I must remind myself that things could be far far worse!

1. I do have a job in the legal field that pays my bills. Sure I don't like the job, the commute, the clientele, but I recall being unemployed around 2 years ago and wondering how was I going to survive and how was I going to make use of this shiny, but apparently useless degree I had. What am I thankful for, I'm now at a place where I can start planning for the next stage of my career and I have the luxury of time.

2. I have a family that loves and supports me. I may not relate to them very much but we do tend to help each other. Without their support throughout my life and especially through these past few years I would be in a far worse situation than I am now.

3. Doghound! It is obvious Doghound is in the final fall and winter of his life and is unlikely to make it to the next sunny spring day. So every time I find Doghound at my parents' home I make sure I pet him and play with him. No matter how bad a day I've had if I put Doghound in my lap and just pet him I will feel much better. I'm thankful for the fact Doghound makes me feel better so I better enjoy him for the time we have left together.

4. Thanks to the internet and eHarChemtach.com I'm dating again. Sure there are dates with no chemistry or only one of use feels something or I never want to see her again and she's still stalking me, but hey at least I'm in the market for female companionship. While I keep debating if I should hold off on dating again until I have a job with less of a commute so I have more free time at least I can write a food and coffee shop guide to Big City now.

5. The Internet. It provides me with information about things I like and the ability to describe the insaneness of humanity. While I'm not perfect I'm thankful for the fact I'm not as crazy, stupid, or useless as those people! Thanks to the internet I get to maintain my sanity.

I'm sure other people have more selfless and altruistic things to be thankful for. Eh I'll take what I can get. Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

The Logic Of Life.

Okay Small Town HR says I have to use my vacation time before the end of the year or else I'll lose it. So I need to find a day here and there before the end of the year to suck up what little vacation time I have accrued. We already have Thanksgiving and Friday off. There are no hearings scheduled for Wednesday. Hey why not take this Wednesday off and get a 5 day weekend?

I could get so much done in my real life by taking a day off. I can get to all the places I need to get to, but can't due to being at work. Cool!

So I'll be going into the office on Friday and possibly Saturday. Why? Without clerks, hearings, phone calls, people wondering in, and the normal chaos I can get more work done in 4 hours this Friday than I get accomplished in 3 or 4 days. I have several piles of files in my office the courts expect to be resolved. We're far too overworked and understaffed. To get anything accomplished means I put in far more hours than I want to put in.

Take a vacation day to not be in the office and go into the office on a day I already have off. Makes perfect sense right?

Maybe one day I'll have a job where I can take 5 days off and actually enjoy them.

I Dont Know, Can We Stipulate To Contempt?

If you lay the factual basis out, then yes contempt can be agreed to by all parties. If only more of my opponents were like that.

This idiot could have helped himself out in so many ways, but instead his levels of motivation and common sense were very low. I seriously can't understand the stupidity of some people. Oh well.

Single (At Home) At Last!

The Fabulously Gay Roommate bought a house. He and his significant other are going to live there. Saturday was the big move out day. If you're helping someone move it is never easy and yesterday proved to be no different. FGR and I have many mutual friends from school. Sadly all of them were unavailable for the move. That meant most all of the other people helping with the move were FGR's friends that he met when was exploring and understanding his sexuality aka the gay friends.

There were mechanics, IT managers, artists, nurses, and just ordinary people regardless of their sexual orientation. For purposes of a move they just need to be able to lift and carry heavy objects. For this, the gay friends failed miserably. Except for the one friend who wasn't overtly flaming, the rest all had bad backs, bulging disks, strained back muscles, needed a cigarette every 20 minutes, had the ability to snip and gossip worse than a 8th grade cheerleader and whatever it took to be friggin' useless for a moving day. Except for the one guy, the rest of them couldn't lift anything heavy. Oh yeah, even my roommate was having muscle problems too.

This was going to suck for me in so many ways.

I arrived a bit late at the storage facility that held all of the Sig Other's stuff and I knew things weren't going well. For whatever reason, whenever there is a group of people over a certain size no one can make a decision. It's called diffusion of responsibility. Combined with the fact the FGR is notorious for being incapable of making decisions this is a bad double whammy. Towards the end I asked him if I should get my truck to put in the last of the big bulky items. I quickly realized I needed to simply get my truck and put the last few chairs and end tables in the bed. I was proven right as some things weren't going to fit in the U-Haul.

At FGR's new house the bad back brigade was nearly useless. I'm shoving stuff out of the truck or the other guy was and I was placing the items in the lawn or on the porch. Time was limited and I figured everyone else could carry stuff from the lawn to inside the house. FGR wanted to put stuff in the right room. He's nuts! He's not sure where he'll want half that stuff. Just get it inside and you'll deal with it later. I felt the need to harm someone as the bad back brigade went on a cigarette break...all the time. I think they smoked and gossiped more than they moved boxes!

All that labor, totally useless to the task.

They weren't much better when they came to my place to get FGR's stuff. Luckily he didn't have as much crap as his Sig Other. Seriously, they need a few trips to Goodwill and a few garage sales. I think they have a total of 6 televisions now. Once again FGR's couch drew blood. Whenever it is moved there is blood involved. Must be a voodoo couch. At least it wasn't my blood this time.

Wow this place is going to be quiet.

More Exciting Than Watching Paint Dry, Barely.

Dating is exciting in some ways and boring in others. It is exciting when you meet new people. It is boring when you realize there is just no chemistry between the two of you. I try go to for at least 2 dates. The first date you tend to be tense so I feel the second date is more realistic if you can get to a second date.

This was date number four. The first two were after insanely exhausting days at work so I couldn't tell if I was falling asleep due to an extreme lack of sleep or the fact I just wasn't really feeling anything with her. After having 2 more dates I've come to the conclusion: we just don't match up well in real life. Oh paper things look good, but that's why you have to test the theory and see if the reality matches.

I feel sorry for her. I can tell she likes me a bit. I think that is the worst part.

On the plus side I have date number 2 with someone else tomorrow night. Some chemistry is there so perhaps this could develop into something. Who knows, right?

I Just Wanted To Leave At Lunch.

I have far too many things going on right now in my life and far too little time to get things done. I was willing to take a half day of vacation today just so I could finally get to a few important things that needed to be done! It doesn't help when the people you need to see operate at the same work hours of 90% of people during the day including yours truly.

I had most of the morning hearings and The Boss had most of the afternoon ones. How about a swap and I leave at lunch. It was a simple plan that went horribly wrong. The Boss scheduled quite a few pretrial conferences today. For some reason he loves to get a lot of them done in one day. That method has proven quite problematic in the past but he shows no sign of adopting my "squeeze one or two in here and there" approach. The problem we run into is sometimes the courts will decide to schedule hearing during times we've scheduled pretrial conferences. Usually we adapt and can make it work. This time The Boss sabotaged himself. No wait, he really sabotaged both of us!

The Boss doubled booked his pretrial conferences this morning, twice! Normally about a third of pretrials follow Option #1, and a third follow Option #2, and a third one or both parties fail to appear. Yet I knew that since it would be incredibly inconvenient if everyone appeared that would be exactly what would happen. Of course I was right. Karma is a bitch. and she hates me.

I wanted to try to take some of the overload, but I had my own court hearings in the morning. Every time I came into my office the clerks wondered if I could do something, but I told them I was either getting ready to head to court, or fixing a problem that came up in court, or trying to fix a problem before we went into court. I finally finished my morning hearings at 11:30 and suddenly I'm trying to do a pretrial with two parties and a file I've never seen before. Not only that, but they had 3 cases involving them so it took me some time to figure out what was going on. At least they agreed on the important things so that made my job easy. How to fit their agreement into the context of all 3 of their cases would prove to be a bigger problem, but not one that had to be fixed today. So lunch really started at 12:20 today for me.

Oh wait, The Boss also scheduled pretrial conferences for the early afternoon. Looks like I'll need to stay until 2:00 p.m. just to make sure everything works.

I'm just tired of having to catch all of The Boss' mistakes. How do you double book something that is totally in your control?

Oh well at least I got the big important things off my to-do list, but what a grind it was for the late afternoon.

Cascading Entropy Of Liquid Failure.

Let's see. Water got into the wall behind the bathtub so the wall needed to be replaced, along with two others since I had to replace it. I haven't had a shower at home since last Thursday. The leak around the tub drain that falls into the downstairs bathroom got worse. I guess the repair I did last year is failing. Now the kitchen sink that has a slow drip has sped up to a quite annoying tempo. My cell phone was catastrophically dunked into water and can't hold a charge for more than 36 hours.

All this within a one week period or so. Water, water, everywhere and it is seriously screwing up my life! When it rains around here it really pours.

Water And Cell Phones Don't Mix!

I swear if someone invents a cell phone that can survive being capsized with me in a deep creek or a bullet going through it I'll buy it.

I'm pretty good with my phone, but when I do something to it I REALLY do something to it! At least it still works after being dried out, but when the battery only lasts for 2 days that just isn't going to work. Given how little I'm at home I really need my cell phone. Maybe AT&T is running a special.

Paint The Town British Racing Green!

You Paint the World with Calming Colors

You are a true friend. You are very dependable. Your friends can always count on you to be competent. You are good at anything you do. You are a truly successful person ... though sometimes it's hard for you to appreciate your success. You are quite cautious and conservative. You like to weigh risks carefully.

How Do You Paint the World?

There Has To Be A More Dignified Form Of Transportation.

On the drive home tonight a piece of my car fell onto me. I was completely in shock. Normally my car doesn't attack me, but it did tonight. I hope the beast holds together, but I have to remember, it's not the years, but the mileage!

I Haven't A Clue.

The Boss is a nice guy, but rather clueless sometimes. Perhaps absent minded is the more accurate phrase. About a week ago I discovered he was going to be out of the office on Tuesday for a conference. After discussing his schedule, my schedule, the court's schedule he finally let it drop that he was going to a conference. Oh!!!! Suddenly that conversation make so much more sense!

I'm about to go home today and I'm chatting with a clerk for a few minutes. I mention that I'll be in tomorrow for only the morning and leaving the office around lunch. The clerk then mentions that Boss will be gone for Monday and Tuesday for a conference.

*Deep Sigh!*

If my workload is going to double, can someone let me know ahead of time? It isn't like the conference come up suddenly and the dates just fell from the sky. I'm doing more and more of Boss's job because he's burned out and some things just run smoother through me, but I'm getting tired of doing Boss's job because he doesn't get around to doing them or doesn't tell me he'll be gone. There's no malice behind his actions, he's just burned out and clueless.

I can't take this any longer. I need another job soon.

I Can't Win Sometimes.

The clerks stated they needed to get information faster so they designed a form for us to fill out during hearings. When done just hand the form to them and they'll do what they need to do. Important things will be done in a timely fashion and they aren't stuck for someone to bring the file to them or write an order or something that only an attorney needs to do first. Sounds like a good idea in theory, but in reality I find it nothing but a pain in my ass.

The form isn't particularly difficult, in fact it is rather simple. Given what the clerks want they really need some of the basic info of a case. The problem is I can't fill out the damn form to their level of satisfaction. For example, addresses.

I fill in an address.
Clerk: "Wolfrham, this address is the same as we currently have. Why did you fill it out?"
Me: "The form has an address field."
Clerk: "Well if it is the same we're just double checking something that is already there. It makes more work for us and the form is supposed to simplify things."

I don't fill in an address.
Clerk: "Wolfrham! How come you didn't fill in the address part of the form?"
Me: "There was no change in address. I didn't want you to double check an address that is already good. I wanted you to just do the things that need to go out ASAP!"
Clerk: "Well if you don't fill in an address how will we know the info we have is correct?"
Me: *DEEP SIGH*

I filled out the address field with the words "No Change" and figure this is fine.
Clerk: "Wolfrham! What is this 'no change'? No change from what?
Me: *Tick on face is developing and my blood pressure rises*

I'm about ready to either shove their form up their collective asses or bring them in and politely ask them how they would like the form field out for every field. I will gladly fill out the form they way they want me to, but I want ONE STANDARD! They more they tried to simplify and improve their work processes, but more complicated they've made mine!

Seize The Opportunity.

I'm not in an active job hunt mode, but if I happen to stumble upon something I'll take a look. I'm on one website today trying to find an address and there is a "Job Opportunities" link. I decided to click on it and discover there is an attorney position that I'm at least half way qualified for.

I think I'll fire up a letter this weekend. Why not eh?

I'm Just An Arms Dealer At Heart.

How to raise money for big purchases (like a home).

1. Save up as much money as you can from your job. Check.

2. Sell the few meager stocks you have. Check. (Bonus for being able to take the capital lose on the tax return next year. Not like the stock market is rebounding anytime soon.)

3. Sell a shotgun. Not done that yet and it sounds like a Small Town move, not a Big City move but I could probably get $150 for it.

4. Look around for other trinkets to sell.

Sometimes I wonder if I've been exposed to Small Town too long when selling weaponry is an option to raise money.

November 30th is the last day of the 10% first time homeowner credit. I hope I can swing this deal in the next 3 months.

3 In A Row!

I don't know what has changed or if suddenly things are working. I now have consistent internet access on our wireless network.

SWEET! Frustration level is coming down.

I was going to go into work, but waking up at 11 a.m. put the kibosh on that idea. Ah...sweet sleep!

Connected Upon Booting Up!

Okay what has changed! Booted up ye olde laptop and it connected to our wireless.

SWEET!

I admit the internet is mostly an escape, but I also do a lot of research online. Nice to have it back....I hope.

Poll Time

Which is the most annoying part of my life?

1. Insomnia that awakens me at 4:00 a.m. for the last 2 weeks.

2. Occasional internet access at home due to roommate's ...whatever he did to the wireless setup!

3. Inability to get orders written due to distractions at work.

4. Inability to get orders written due to attending a million hearings in a week.

5. Inability to get orders written due to solving other people's problems. Wait that sounds a lot like number 3.

I really need the ability to fashion an 8th day of the week that no one else has access to. I would love to have one day a week where no one can reach me, I have no hearings, and I can just catch up on things. People may say do more with less but we've reached the point of you need more to do more!

Spotty Internet Access Just Plain Sucks

The Fabulously Gay Roommate has been monkeying around with our wireless network. He's been trying to get the wireless printer to find our network and print! The wireless capability of the printer was the big reason I got the printer before the end of last year and yet it is the one thing we haven't gotten to work!

The Good: FGR says he can no see the printer on our wireless LAN.
The Bad: We still can't print to it.
The Suck: I have to screw around with my network settings on my laptop for at least 15 minutes before I connect to our wireless network. IF I CONNECT AT ALL!

If you don't hear from me for a few days assume that between too many hours at work, too many hours on the road, and the roommate's infernal modification of our network that I'm not dead, I'm just silent!

You Did What?

The Boss is occasionally a forgetful person. He certainly does things differently than I do, but usually he's a logical and rational person. So I'm befuddled by this problem. We set up with the courts to handle a special project on Fridays this month. At least that's what I thought. I'm checking the calendar for this month and it seems the courts got a late start and started the scheduling towards the end of the month. Okay fine. I guess our project will go into September. I'll have to check into that later, but I kept things off my calendar for this month.

Boss: Wow we're busy the last Friday.

Me: I had assumed we would be busy on every Friday. I guess the courts needed a little more time.

Boss: Did you schedule any administrative hearings on that day.

Me: I didn't schedule any hearings because I thought we would be busy the entire month.

Boss: Uh-oh I think I scheduled 5 admin hearings on that Friday.

Me: You're joking right?

Boss: Checks his calendar. Yep I scheduled 5 for that Friday.


I don't know which is worse. The Boss scheduled ANYTHING on a Friday that we knew ahead of time was supposed to be for our project. Or is it worse he scheduled 5 admin hearings when 3 in a day is exhausting! My clerk asked me if the Boss thought that scheduling 5 hearings would result in 2 complete hearings because we always have people missing. I don't know, but that means once again I'm shouldering the load alone on a busy day.

It is bad enough I do the work of 2 people because we need at least another person, but when I'm doing my boss's job as well I get peeved. It seems like I cover him A LOT more than he covers me.

So Hard To Get Good Help These Days.

Me: Okay Fabulously Gay Roommate flip the breaker.

FGR: 11 or 12?

Me: 11 controls this circuit.

*hear a solid snap*
FGR: Okay you're good.

*screwdriver touches a live wire* FLASH, POP, SNAP!

Me: DUDE!!!!!!! I just got zapped! I thought you said I was good!

FGR: Oh wait, sorry. I flipped the one below it.

Me: Tell you what I'll give you the screwdriver and I'll just randomly flip breakers until your hand goes numb!

The Money Sled.

Only two more payments and my used car is completely mine. A friend sold it to me so I got very favorable financing. However this year the damn thing is turning into a money pit. First, I needed to replace the front tires after I hit a pothole the size Belgium. That left front deflated in less than 2 minutes. Then I needed a transmission rebuild. It is good to have 1st and Reverse again. I thought I needed an alignment, but instead the tire rotation I had 3 weeks earlier brought the old tires to the front. One had a busted steel belt so I needed 2 more tires.

Now the damn headlights won't turn on. What are the odds both bulbs would burn out the same night? I doubt that, especially given the occasional odd electrical glitch the headlight have given me in the past. Electrical gremlins, did I buy a British car from the 1960's?

At 176,000 miles I need this beast to last. I can't afford a new car right now including the cost of fuel and higher insurance rates for a new car. If this keeps up I'm going to need either more money or less commute. Why do I either feel like the working poor or the struggling middle class?

So Much For That Idea.

I got an email today. Big City interview stated they must cancel the interview. They were unable to offer a position at this time and would keep my resume on file.

Crap!

Did the position just disappear? Did they already find someone to fill it? Did the fact I had to wait until Tuesday to interview kill my chances? Who knows. I hate second guessing things.

I honestly don't know how much longer I can last in Small Town. The hour long commute. The extreme work hours based on the work load and the fact I do the work of three people. A boss who just doesn't seem to do anything urgently. Hell the boss doesn't seem to do much of anything. The boss is burned out and in a sore need of a six month sabbatical. Fine, but that means so much of the behind the scenes workload gets routed to me. All that does is burn me out.

So much for the hope of getting out of the burden of Atlas' shoulders.

Thriller Indeed.

I know I'm a little late to the Michael Jackson death, but I felt I should talk a little bit about it. I only own one CD of his, Thriller, and I hadn't even taken it out of the wrap. I remember buying it about a year ago. I bought it because I knew I needed at least one MJ album and Thriller was what sent him to superstardom. Back when MTV still played videos this was one of the best ever.

I don't know what happened in his personal life. In the best light he got weird. In the worst light he did a lot of bad things. One thing is certain, he was the King of Pop and for 10 years nobody came close to him.

Though I never bought an album until a year ago, he made a lot of the music I grew up with. Michael Jackson, perhaps this Halloween I'll learn the Thriller dance in your honor. Long live the king!

Hope?

I saw the ad for the position in Big City. It is under the same program as my current job in Small Town. I gave some thought to whether or not I should apply to it. In many ways I really dislike the subject matter of my current job. Why would I want to continue on in that particular field?

Yet, it would be a job in Big City. The commute would be less time. I would regain an hour of my life back simply from the shorter drive. I wouldn't spend as much money on gas, oil changes, tires, and maintenance on the car. I would also be in the Big City job market. In the future I would hope I could find job leads around town that would get me to where I want to be. Granted I have no idea where I want to work when I grow up, but I need to start somewhere.

The few people I ask said the same thing: apply it won't hurt.

Given it has been a few weeks I figured I didn't even make the first cut for interviews. Until the email came. Big City job asked for an interview. Luckily we figured out a time. Day One wouldn't work at all, but I asked if the afternoon of Day Two was fine. Luckily yes.

Now the games begin. Stay chill at work. Don't let anyone know I'm interviewing. Come up with a doctor's appointment I need to attend that afternoon. I like the people I work with. The crew is good, but I can't keep working this one job. Too many issues with the job itself, the outside stuff related to the job, the commute and other stuff. I simply want to go home if I can. Is that too much to ask for?

What I Really Wanted To Say.

Judge: It's been seven years. How come no action has been taken?

Me *thinking to myself*: Because the idiot disappeared for seven years. What, you want me to put LoJack on everyone?

When The Boss Is Out Of Town...

I'm worked to death! I have to be in multiple courtrooms at once. I'm get all of the screwy problems. The number of hearings aren't too bad, except for Thursday, but the issues seem full of an extra helping of crap and inconvenience. Just as I settle in my chair to work on something of my choosing something else pops up.

I'm just tired and needing a big break soon. At least the holiday is approaching and I'll get a brief respite. At least I hope so.

Oh Hail!

Wow the plants and trees are trashed and my car has lots of little dimples. The hail was about gumball size but when a few thousand of the buggers are hitting my car it sounds like the inside of a snare drum!

The worse part: I ran into the same storm twice! A good thing my car isn't new or I would be far more crushed. I'm merely peeved.

I think I'll just go to bed.

White Flag Slowly Going Up.

I'm hoping to have at least 2 years in on the job in Small Town before I go elsewhere. Given the insane amount of work we've had the past few months and the long commute I've grown exhausted over this job.

I just updated my resume. Perhaps I'll upload it to a few websites in a few days. Perhaps I might sign onto a few employment websites soon. I'm tired of being tired. There needs to be less frustrating jobs in the legal field that pay at least as well and don't involve a one hour commute.

Star Trek Preview Review?

Umm..a review on the preview of the new Star Trek movie. Full of snark and reasons you should see it including the "Ka-Ching" rating. LOL

VISA Be Gone!

The last year of school. Fees for bar review classes. Job hunt expenses. Day to day expenses. All that stuff went to my VISA card. The numbers kept going up and all I could do was make barely above minimum payments. Before law school I was one of those who routinely paid off my credit card bills every month. The amount of credit debt skyrocketing upward was disheartening. Every new bill gave me a headache. Between the amount I borrowed for student loans and VISA the amount of debt I had was mind-boggling to me. Worse of all there was no way to get rid of it. Student loans can't be discharged by bankruptcy. The changes made to the bankruptcy laws made it more difficult to discharge the paltry by comparison amount on my VISA card. Despite all my intelligence, despite all my creative history, despite my outside the box reality I had run out of hope after years of frustration.

Yet a weak bit of hope appeared, the job in Small Town. I knew the commute would be tiring. I knew the job wouldn't fit my personality much less my dreams. I knew the job would be frustrating, but it was a job that paid money. Any port in a storm, eh? Yet my paychecks didn't seem to go far enough. Gas prices going over $4.00 per gallon last summer, electric bills, rent, football tickets, insurance premiums, that bitch Sallie Mae, trying to put something in a savings account, and all the normal stuff in our lives. Yet I paid as much as I could towards my VISA. The monthly statement started to slowly go down. I remember when it got under $10,000. I practically wept. Perhaps some good luck had finally come my way? Perhaps this really could work? Perhaps I could slowly climb my way out of the dark financial hole I was in? Between a large tax refund and using most of my savings account the check I wrote last month to VISA felt like I fired a bazooka at the debt.

Tonight I write the last check to VISA to erase my debt to them. What was once an impossible mountain of debt is now gone. I don't feel happy, but I am relieved, so incredibly relieved. I still hate the job in Small Town, I still hate the commute, I still hate the impossible situations I'm placed in, but the job has done the one thing I wanted it to do. It got rid of that damned VISA bill! I hope to move onto other opportunities in 9 to 12 months, but for now I'm glad I got something useful out of this job and I'm thankful for it.

We Lost Our Brains Today.

Scenario #1

Me: Clerk, why are my numbers not adding up? Can you print that off and follow my numbers? Okay so the total is on page 19.

Clerk: No Wolfrham, the total is on page 21.

Me: Eh, what? No the total is on page 19.

Clerk: Oh look, you only went back to 1999.

Me: Oh crap, do you think 2 years might make a big difference?

Scenario #2

Me: Okay I guess we'll need to schedule a status hearing to figure out what's going on.

Clerk: That's okay you can just get the info during the April 12th hearing.

Me: What? No we already had that hearing.

Clerk: No, you're having that hearing just next month on the 12th.

Me: Of April?

Clerk *clearly exasperated*: Yes.

Me: Clerk, what is today's date?

Clerk *ponders in thought for a second*: Oh crap!

I Must Be So Below Average.

Forbes has a list of the Top 25 Best Paid jobs and a list of the Top 25 Worst Paid jobs. At Number 16 for the best paid are lawyers! Supposedly lawyers have an average annual pay of $124,750 with 553,690 "employees in the field."

Okay, I have a good math background so I know how averages are calculated. I know I've been in the real world practicing law for less than 2 years now. (We're not going to get into how long it took to even find the job I'm working.) So I realize I should still be in that entry level starting salary phase. But I am nowhere near that average salary.

I have to wonder if the few lawyers who are into those big class action lawsuits and get a third if they win are skewing the average up to 6 figures. How many lawyers getting 500 million dollar settlements can skew my underpaid public sector salary to result in a $124,750 AVERAGE salary for my profession?

I'm either in the wrong field or I'm just a sucky lawyer.

Run Away! Run Away!

You Are "esc"

Some people might try to say that you're unreliable or flighty. But you can't help it. You're always finding yourself in sticky situations. You're willing to bail if things are looking bad. You are quite impatient. For you, having to escape every now in then is the price of taking risks. And you're not about to stop taking risks!

What Keyboard Key Are You?