The Turbulent Aughts

I find the fact the first decade of the new century is almost over to be mind-boggling. From the world's point of view we've had the Y2K scare, Bush v Gore, September 11th, invaded two countries, gave mortgages to anyone with a driver's license, lost a space shuttle and the Concorde, a big tidal wave, are still in the two countries we invaded, had everyone spend too much and lose the houses they bought with mortgages secured by a driver's license, had the economy melt down because everyone spends more than they earn, elected a black man to the presidency, had GM and Chrysler go bankrupt and be propped up by the government, made it through the worst of the Great Recession, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a ton of important stuff still!

On a more personal level my Aughts were just as turbulent in many ways. Sure I had some of my 20s in this decade and some of my 30s will be in the next one, but overall the Aughts were my 30s and so much happened. I lost my job and was rehired 3 months later for worse hours and worse pay. I decided to change careers and go into law school. During law school I discovered the definition of hell as a school was set up in the completely opposite way I learn and 3 years of that is very draining. I did study and pass that other hell rite of passage: the bar exam. You would think all that was the hard part. I know I did. Oh how wrong I was.


I had a two year struggle of part time jobs, temp jobs, and just doing anything to pay the bills until I found a job that made use of that degree. I truly learned what it meant to struggle, be worried about how I was going to pay bills, and where was the next dollar coming from. Then I found a job, but I could foreshadow it would be problematic. The long commute, the odd subject matter, the burned out boss, the tidal wave of constant work, the debris of humanity I would be dealing with, the fact I do the work of two or three people, and knowing I would never get additional help. I knew it was a first job, not a forever job. The job in Small Town was simply a placeholder on my resume and nothing more.

To me the Aughts are the decade of transitions, survival, and rebuilding. A decade of nothing going according to plan and fighting for any minor success I could get. To me it feels like the Lost Decade. I lost 10 years of my life and I can't say I'm in a better position now in 2009 than I was in 1999. Yet I feel a very guarded sense of optimism now. I've rebuilt the foundation of my life and now all the cinder blocks are in place to actually build something. I'm in the process of buying my home. I've only lived here forever so why not actually own it. Thanks to EHarmChemMatch.com I'm at least dating again. Despite some horror stories I could describe as dating in the 21st century perhaps that can evolve into a good relationship one day. Once I've bought my home I'll begin the process of looking for a new job. I'm not certain how many jobs are out there right now. I've heard too many stories of not filling open positions and actual shedding of jobs. Still the economy churns jobs and something has to be out there I would fit into. I doubt the perfect job is out there, but I'm sure something better is out there. Then I might start believing the law school/lawyer experiment was worth it.

I can see change is coming. I'm hoping the changes will be positive. Some of my friends can tell life has hit me very hard, yet I still keep getting back up. It's been an ugly fight but at least I still continue fighting. For 2010 and beyond I want to be the one swinging and see my punches bring positive things to my life. I want to the fruits of my labor blossom and I think I'm finally in a position to start doing that. Guarded optimism indeed. Happy New Year to all and may we get the good things we want. I know I've worked for it.

The Esoteric Objects

I have an extensive collection of esoteric objects that reflect my love of various movies, television shows, and numerous hobbies. When people find one of the objects in my esoteric collection they tend to have one of three reactions: 1) Oh you like such and such. 2) What the hell is that? 3) OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A...! It is fun to watch their reactions. What is the most fun is when someone else is in the know. They see the object, recognize what it is or what it means, and they appreciate its coolness. Some things are just a subtle wink and a nod and I appreciate that.

Though I refuse to pay 2 day shipping which would ensure arrival before Christmas I stumbled upon something that is very very cool. At least to me it is extremely cool and it will add to my esoteric collection. I can't wait for the first person to notice it on my wall and just grin in amazement.

Merry Christmas folks. I hope your holiday shopping is already finished.

Christmas Shopping In The Snow. No problem!

I'm not 100% recovered from the flu yet. I tire easily and I still have a cough that comes up every few minutes with the occasional slime my lungs are trying to expel. Ugh. At least my appetite seems to be recovering a bit. I've been able to eat cereal, leftover pizza, and a turkey etoufee. I just can't eat anything quickly. That might not be a bad thing actually as it could help me lose some weight.

Since being incapacitated with the flu for a week really put a crimp in a lot of my plans I used this weekend to get some of them in gear. Job #1: Christmas shopping. The original plan was to use Amazon.com so I could avoid the holiday shopping crowds. I looked at my parents' lists and realized I could get something for both of them at the same big box electronics store.

The good news about this big box was it wasn't in or near a huge mall. In fact it's a bit of a pain to get into and why this particular building has been 4 different stores since it was built. I took a back way to the store and didn't hit any traffic. Looking around I was surprised the overall traffic wasn't too bad. It only took me around 30 minutes to grab four items for Mom and Dad Hart. Another 10 or 15 minutes to get through the line to pay for them and I was out the door.

5 days before Christmas and I think I'm already finished. This could be a record for me.

Survival Of The Fittest Part II

Except for a few hours on Monday morning to cover some hearings I've been near death at home the entire week. I'm working on the assumption it is the regular flu. Fever, aches, nasty cough, no energy, no appetite. Compared to people suffering with diarrhea or vomiting or both I have the better symptoms I suppose. Small consolation as from Sunday to Wednesday I still felt like I was near death. Constant coughing, no energy at all, the inability to sleep since I'm coughing all the time, and the constant desire to drink water, apple juice, orange juice, and whatever flavor of Crystal Light is handy at the moment. I bought a 3 liter container of apple juice Monday afternoon and finished it this morning.

For the past few days I've been napping and sleeping whenever I want. Monday and Tuesday I could only be awake for about 3 hours at a time. Sleep in my bed, sleep on the futon, sleep in the recliner chair, it didn't matter. Sometimes I moved only for the reason of sleeping someplace different. I'm not sure how much I actually slept given all the coughing I was doing.

Wednesday was both a highlight and a low light. The fever finally broke and I could actually eat one sandwich for a meal. The bad part was when I stepped out of the shower and suddenly felt vertigo. You know in the movies when the helicopter is hit and the alarms start going off while the camera is suddenly shaky to enhance the feeling of danger? I swear I heard, BREEEP!!! BREEEP!!! BREEP!!! in the back of my mind as I reached for the toilet but couldn't find it. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I figured sitting down as a better position than standing up. And...nothing...happened. I put my head on the sink, drank some water, and after a few minutes the vertigo disappeared. Much ado over nothing, but for a scant few seconds I was honestly scared. I knew if I passed out I would likely hit my head on something making things even worse. I didn't want to die like Elvis on the toilet.

Today I feel vaguely normal, call it 60%. I can talk on the phone for a few minutes, something Mom Hart doesn't quite understand. Hi Mom I'm calling to let you know I'm still alive, not wanting to go to the Emergency Room, but I'm not wanting to get into a long story of the day. I'm not certain why she doesn't understand that.

Small Town gave me a call back today as well. They've had a few of their own funny issues without me. They're glad I'm not dead and if I can make it in tomorrow for some work and the holiday lunch that would be good. Umm..upon gazing at the calendar there appears to be quite a number of hearings tomorrow. I'm rather surprised. The real question is how many of them are false positives? I suspect a lot of them have been continued, but I won't know until I arrive.

I'm hoping by Monday I can be at 100%. I'm tired of feeling tired.

Survival Of The Fittest.

Yesterday it was obvious I was coming down with some winter crude. A cough, some phlegm, and a general feeling of tiredness. I even woke up last night twice just to drink some water as I felt incredibly dehydrated.

Today's mission is simple: 1) drink plenty of fluids, 2) stay warm and dry, 3) don't do too much and exert myself, and 4) a good nap after the football game.

The Boss is taking a vacation day tomorrow so I'm the only one that can do the few hearings we have tomorrow. Luckily the courts are shutting down for the holiday season so we don't have many hearings through the end of the year. I'm just hoping I can kill whatever bug is in my system and be okay for tomorrow. I've been sick at work before and it is always miserable. If worse comes to worse I suppose I could just leave after the last hearing. I hope we don't have anything in the late afternoon if that is the case.

I think this job is trying to kill me.

Officially Winter

The weekend had some obsolutely freezing weather. What was a minor chance of snow ended up being an inch. I just happened to glance out my bedroom window and noticed all the white stuff. Surprise!

Instead of staying at home with a cup of hot chocolate and enjoying the view I had to go into work. Ugh. Last week was so obnoxious I'm still recovering from it. A drive in the first snowfall was not what I needed. For whatever reason people forget how to drive in snow the first time it comes back. SLOW DOWN YOU MORONS! Seriously, just slow down, don't tailgate, anticipate your movements and you're usually okay.

I never got above 55 m.p.h. on the interstate and 45 m.p.h. on the highway. I squeezed past two wrecks and numerous slideoffs. I followed my own advice and got into Small Town without any big problems. It took an extra 20 minutes so I'm glad I left 15 minutes early. So much for getting an early start to the day.

One day I hope to enjoy a snow day. I remember when snow was fun and not the enemy. I still want that cup of hot chocolate.

Easy Come Easy Go.

Between a AutoZone, a grocery store, and all the bills that need to be paid by the 10th of the month my paycheck is already gone. Normally I try to put 10% of my paycheck into my savings account, but I decided to hold off on that this time. On top of that the Fabulously Gay Ex Roommate came by to pick up some more stuff finally. Of course he used to take care of the cable bill and now that is my responsibility. He noted the bill is due by Tuesday. Tuesday! It just came in the mail last Tuesday.

The last few months I've been using the rental checks as money to go into my savings account only. I didn't want to life off of FGR's money because I knew it was going away. While my bills seemed to be okay I have this gut feeling that something may be wrong. I decided to put my finances into a spreadsheet and get a feel for where my money is going. I only have November and half of October done, but once I put in more of this year I wonder if I'm not going to like the answers. Perhaps I can get rid of cable again.

How To Survive Black Friday.

For those who are about to go into retail battle for your cheap deals may I suggest a good strategy to get through the day.

A-M-A-Z-O-N-DOT-C-O-M

I avoid the malls, the people, the insanity, and it gets delivered to me usually for free. That's Christmas shopping I can get into!

Things To Be Thankful For.

As pessimistic and jaded as I am I do feel the need to be thoughtful on occasion. I must remind myself that things could be far far worse!

1. I do have a job in the legal field that pays my bills. Sure I don't like the job, the commute, the clientele, but I recall being unemployed around 2 years ago and wondering how was I going to survive and how was I going to make use of this shiny, but apparently useless degree I had. What am I thankful for, I'm now at a place where I can start planning for the next stage of my career and I have the luxury of time.

2. I have a family that loves and supports me. I may not relate to them very much but we do tend to help each other. Without their support throughout my life and especially through these past few years I would be in a far worse situation than I am now.

3. Doghound! It is obvious Doghound is in the final fall and winter of his life and is unlikely to make it to the next sunny spring day. So every time I find Doghound at my parents' home I make sure I pet him and play with him. No matter how bad a day I've had if I put Doghound in my lap and just pet him I will feel much better. I'm thankful for the fact Doghound makes me feel better so I better enjoy him for the time we have left together.

4. Thanks to the internet and eHarChemtach.com I'm dating again. Sure there are dates with no chemistry or only one of use feels something or I never want to see her again and she's still stalking me, but hey at least I'm in the market for female companionship. While I keep debating if I should hold off on dating again until I have a job with less of a commute so I have more free time at least I can write a food and coffee shop guide to Big City now.

5. The Internet. It provides me with information about things I like and the ability to describe the insaneness of humanity. While I'm not perfect I'm thankful for the fact I'm not as crazy, stupid, or useless as those people! Thanks to the internet I get to maintain my sanity.

I'm sure other people have more selfless and altruistic things to be thankful for. Eh I'll take what I can get. Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

The Logic Of Life.

Okay Small Town HR says I have to use my vacation time before the end of the year or else I'll lose it. So I need to find a day here and there before the end of the year to suck up what little vacation time I have accrued. We already have Thanksgiving and Friday off. There are no hearings scheduled for Wednesday. Hey why not take this Wednesday off and get a 5 day weekend?

I could get so much done in my real life by taking a day off. I can get to all the places I need to get to, but can't due to being at work. Cool!

So I'll be going into the office on Friday and possibly Saturday. Why? Without clerks, hearings, phone calls, people wondering in, and the normal chaos I can get more work done in 4 hours this Friday than I get accomplished in 3 or 4 days. I have several piles of files in my office the courts expect to be resolved. We're far too overworked and understaffed. To get anything accomplished means I put in far more hours than I want to put in.

Take a vacation day to not be in the office and go into the office on a day I already have off. Makes perfect sense right?

Maybe one day I'll have a job where I can take 5 days off and actually enjoy them.

I Dont Know, Can We Stipulate To Contempt?

If you lay the factual basis out, then yes contempt can be agreed to by all parties. If only more of my opponents were like that.

This idiot could have helped himself out in so many ways, but instead his levels of motivation and common sense were very low. I seriously can't understand the stupidity of some people. Oh well.

Single (At Home) At Last!

The Fabulously Gay Roommate bought a house. He and his significant other are going to live there. Saturday was the big move out day. If you're helping someone move it is never easy and yesterday proved to be no different. FGR and I have many mutual friends from school. Sadly all of them were unavailable for the move. That meant most all of the other people helping with the move were FGR's friends that he met when was exploring and understanding his sexuality aka the gay friends.

There were mechanics, IT managers, artists, nurses, and just ordinary people regardless of their sexual orientation. For purposes of a move they just need to be able to lift and carry heavy objects. For this, the gay friends failed miserably. Except for the one friend who wasn't overtly flaming, the rest all had bad backs, bulging disks, strained back muscles, needed a cigarette every 20 minutes, had the ability to snip and gossip worse than a 8th grade cheerleader and whatever it took to be friggin' useless for a moving day. Except for the one guy, the rest of them couldn't lift anything heavy. Oh yeah, even my roommate was having muscle problems too.

This was going to suck for me in so many ways.

I arrived a bit late at the storage facility that held all of the Sig Other's stuff and I knew things weren't going well. For whatever reason, whenever there is a group of people over a certain size no one can make a decision. It's called diffusion of responsibility. Combined with the fact the FGR is notorious for being incapable of making decisions this is a bad double whammy. Towards the end I asked him if I should get my truck to put in the last of the big bulky items. I quickly realized I needed to simply get my truck and put the last few chairs and end tables in the bed. I was proven right as some things weren't going to fit in the U-Haul.

At FGR's new house the bad back brigade was nearly useless. I'm shoving stuff out of the truck or the other guy was and I was placing the items in the lawn or on the porch. Time was limited and I figured everyone else could carry stuff from the lawn to inside the house. FGR wanted to put stuff in the right room. He's nuts! He's not sure where he'll want half that stuff. Just get it inside and you'll deal with it later. I felt the need to harm someone as the bad back brigade went on a cigarette break...all the time. I think they smoked and gossiped more than they moved boxes!

All that labor, totally useless to the task.

They weren't much better when they came to my place to get FGR's stuff. Luckily he didn't have as much crap as his Sig Other. Seriously, they need a few trips to Goodwill and a few garage sales. I think they have a total of 6 televisions now. Once again FGR's couch drew blood. Whenever it is moved there is blood involved. Must be a voodoo couch. At least it wasn't my blood this time.

Wow this place is going to be quiet.

More Exciting Than Watching Paint Dry, Barely.

Dating is exciting in some ways and boring in others. It is exciting when you meet new people. It is boring when you realize there is just no chemistry between the two of you. I try go to for at least 2 dates. The first date you tend to be tense so I feel the second date is more realistic if you can get to a second date.

This was date number four. The first two were after insanely exhausting days at work so I couldn't tell if I was falling asleep due to an extreme lack of sleep or the fact I just wasn't really feeling anything with her. After having 2 more dates I've come to the conclusion: we just don't match up well in real life. Oh paper things look good, but that's why you have to test the theory and see if the reality matches.

I feel sorry for her. I can tell she likes me a bit. I think that is the worst part.

On the plus side I have date number 2 with someone else tomorrow night. Some chemistry is there so perhaps this could develop into something. Who knows, right?

I Just Wanted To Leave At Lunch.

I have far too many things going on right now in my life and far too little time to get things done. I was willing to take a half day of vacation today just so I could finally get to a few important things that needed to be done! It doesn't help when the people you need to see operate at the same work hours of 90% of people during the day including yours truly.

I had most of the morning hearings and The Boss had most of the afternoon ones. How about a swap and I leave at lunch. It was a simple plan that went horribly wrong. The Boss scheduled quite a few pretrial conferences today. For some reason he loves to get a lot of them done in one day. That method has proven quite problematic in the past but he shows no sign of adopting my "squeeze one or two in here and there" approach. The problem we run into is sometimes the courts will decide to schedule hearing during times we've scheduled pretrial conferences. Usually we adapt and can make it work. This time The Boss sabotaged himself. No wait, he really sabotaged both of us!

The Boss doubled booked his pretrial conferences this morning, twice! Normally about a third of pretrials follow Option #1, and a third follow Option #2, and a third one or both parties fail to appear. Yet I knew that since it would be incredibly inconvenient if everyone appeared that would be exactly what would happen. Of course I was right. Karma is a bitch. and she hates me.

I wanted to try to take some of the overload, but I had my own court hearings in the morning. Every time I came into my office the clerks wondered if I could do something, but I told them I was either getting ready to head to court, or fixing a problem that came up in court, or trying to fix a problem before we went into court. I finally finished my morning hearings at 11:30 and suddenly I'm trying to do a pretrial with two parties and a file I've never seen before. Not only that, but they had 3 cases involving them so it took me some time to figure out what was going on. At least they agreed on the important things so that made my job easy. How to fit their agreement into the context of all 3 of their cases would prove to be a bigger problem, but not one that had to be fixed today. So lunch really started at 12:20 today for me.

Oh wait, The Boss also scheduled pretrial conferences for the early afternoon. Looks like I'll need to stay until 2:00 p.m. just to make sure everything works.

I'm just tired of having to catch all of The Boss' mistakes. How do you double book something that is totally in your control?

Oh well at least I got the big important things off my to-do list, but what a grind it was for the late afternoon.

Cascading Entropy Of Liquid Failure.

Let's see. Water got into the wall behind the bathtub so the wall needed to be replaced, along with two others since I had to replace it. I haven't had a shower at home since last Thursday. The leak around the tub drain that falls into the downstairs bathroom got worse. I guess the repair I did last year is failing. Now the kitchen sink that has a slow drip has sped up to a quite annoying tempo. My cell phone was catastrophically dunked into water and can't hold a charge for more than 36 hours.

All this within a one week period or so. Water, water, everywhere and it is seriously screwing up my life! When it rains around here it really pours.

Water And Cell Phones Don't Mix!

I swear if someone invents a cell phone that can survive being capsized with me in a deep creek or a bullet going through it I'll buy it.

I'm pretty good with my phone, but when I do something to it I REALLY do something to it! At least it still works after being dried out, but when the battery only lasts for 2 days that just isn't going to work. Given how little I'm at home I really need my cell phone. Maybe AT&T is running a special.

Paint The Town British Racing Green!

You Paint the World with Calming Colors

You are a true friend. You are very dependable. Your friends can always count on you to be competent. You are good at anything you do. You are a truly successful person ... though sometimes it's hard for you to appreciate your success. You are quite cautious and conservative. You like to weigh risks carefully.

How Do You Paint the World?

There Has To Be A More Dignified Form Of Transportation.

On the drive home tonight a piece of my car fell onto me. I was completely in shock. Normally my car doesn't attack me, but it did tonight. I hope the beast holds together, but I have to remember, it's not the years, but the mileage!

I Haven't A Clue.

The Boss is a nice guy, but rather clueless sometimes. Perhaps absent minded is the more accurate phrase. About a week ago I discovered he was going to be out of the office on Tuesday for a conference. After discussing his schedule, my schedule, the court's schedule he finally let it drop that he was going to a conference. Oh!!!! Suddenly that conversation make so much more sense!

I'm about to go home today and I'm chatting with a clerk for a few minutes. I mention that I'll be in tomorrow for only the morning and leaving the office around lunch. The clerk then mentions that Boss will be gone for Monday and Tuesday for a conference.

*Deep Sigh!*

If my workload is going to double, can someone let me know ahead of time? It isn't like the conference come up suddenly and the dates just fell from the sky. I'm doing more and more of Boss's job because he's burned out and some things just run smoother through me, but I'm getting tired of doing Boss's job because he doesn't get around to doing them or doesn't tell me he'll be gone. There's no malice behind his actions, he's just burned out and clueless.

I can't take this any longer. I need another job soon.

I Can't Win Sometimes.

The clerks stated they needed to get information faster so they designed a form for us to fill out during hearings. When done just hand the form to them and they'll do what they need to do. Important things will be done in a timely fashion and they aren't stuck for someone to bring the file to them or write an order or something that only an attorney needs to do first. Sounds like a good idea in theory, but in reality I find it nothing but a pain in my ass.

The form isn't particularly difficult, in fact it is rather simple. Given what the clerks want they really need some of the basic info of a case. The problem is I can't fill out the damn form to their level of satisfaction. For example, addresses.

I fill in an address.
Clerk: "Wolfrham, this address is the same as we currently have. Why did you fill it out?"
Me: "The form has an address field."
Clerk: "Well if it is the same we're just double checking something that is already there. It makes more work for us and the form is supposed to simplify things."

I don't fill in an address.
Clerk: "Wolfrham! How come you didn't fill in the address part of the form?"
Me: "There was no change in address. I didn't want you to double check an address that is already good. I wanted you to just do the things that need to go out ASAP!"
Clerk: "Well if you don't fill in an address how will we know the info we have is correct?"
Me: *DEEP SIGH*

I filled out the address field with the words "No Change" and figure this is fine.
Clerk: "Wolfrham! What is this 'no change'? No change from what?
Me: *Tick on face is developing and my blood pressure rises*

I'm about ready to either shove their form up their collective asses or bring them in and politely ask them how they would like the form field out for every field. I will gladly fill out the form they way they want me to, but I want ONE STANDARD! They more they tried to simplify and improve their work processes, but more complicated they've made mine!